Herpes Medication found in my husbands bag

[countrysidefields]

I have just found empty packets of tablets from an online pharmacy box dated 17th dec 2024 for anciclovir in my husbands laptop bag.
All the empty packets and packing was also in the box, like it was hidden in there.
When I googled that medication it's used for genital herpes. He doesn't and never has had cold sores.
I am obviously thinking the worst seeing how it was hidden away. Please don't judge me, I wasn't actually looking on purposes, I happened to come across it.
Am I right to be assuming the worst?

Thats helpful

As a precaution, get yourself tested - if your GP can't they'll be able to refer you to a GUM Clinic.

It's screaming secretive behaviour. I can't understand how it could be shingles or a cold sore hes never had previously and the packaging is hidden and he hasn't mentioned it. The no sex thing is also tallying up 😒 but there could be an explanation im not thinking of

It doesn't look good but it could be innocent. I struggle to find a reason for his secrecy, especially with it being medication he took over a period of time, he surely would've mentioned it.

My suspicions are that he's hiding something from you and with it being what it is, it doesn't sound good.

You have to speak to him or you'll go insane. Your sanity is worth more.

Ignore my comment. I see there's been a retcon on the "never had a Coldsore" claim.

I know you're looking for reassurance, and this is not the place. However you can contract the genital herpes virus at any time and it not show up for years. For example, I caught it in my early 20s from a cheating partner. They went away on their own. They showed up again in lockdown spontaneously when I was still single. Then they went away and I've had nothing since (I was 44) so cheating is the "obvious" answer, but not necessarily the right one! It could be that he was just embarrassed and knew what to order as he had that "last time". It is a pretty embarrassing thing to talk about.

Sounds totally plausible

However you can't take a herpes test. There's no way of getting checked out at a clinic. Unless you have an out break

Well, communication is key. You've already stated that Sex is somewhat an issue, as neither of you can be bothered. I'm not suggesting that sex is the be- all, as it isn't, but communication is, and until you both do that to the benefit of you both, no online forums will help. I know talking can sometimes be hard, but it's vital to prevent a sterile atmosphere, and those horrible ruts. Good luck.

Sounds like the OP did pretty much as I suggested. I'd missed her latest update.

Did you speak with him as yet? What's the update I'm curious to learn how the story ends.

Also does the laptop box mean their hidden? Might just be the easiest place to store them to remember to take them through the day or something similar?

OP, it doesn't mean he's cheated. I caught herpes when I was 18. When the sores were tested it came back as type one (the type which is typically round the mouth). The outbreak i had was pretty horrific, I couldn't walk for a week and it was 6 weeks before I recovered fully, I was so ashamed, especially being so young. I was told I could get reoccurrences or because it was type 1 that was less likely and I may never get one again. I'm 40 and I've never had another outbreak.

I met my husband aged 23, i know I'll be judged for this but I didn't tell him I'd had it. I was still very young and in 5 years I'd not had another outbreak so it felt 'safe' to not tell. It was a mistake obviously because when I was pregnant with our first baby I was shaking with shame and fear when we went for an appointment because you could see it up on the screen when the consultant spoke to us but he didn't notice

In 2018 I had piles and when I described it to the doc he thought it was it could be a reoccurrence so I was given the tablets. It wasn't anyway but my DH found the tablet packet and I had to come clean.

I'd say it's more likely he's had it before you met and not told, not ideal but better than cheating. In my eyes anyway.

I would not wait, seems more odd, especially if there is a simple explanation. Just ask ...i was surprised to find Acyclovir packaging in your bag, are you sick? What's going on.. something like that.

This has obviously upset you, so you probably need a general chat about your marriage, especially if you're not happy with no sex, affection

Best of luck

Maybe he got a first attack from a previous infection, but thinks you gave it to him?

I have coldsores, but I don't get them on my lips, I have 'mat herpes', I get them on legs and arms mostly. My partner knows I have this, and outbreaks are very rare, but I tend to keep it quiet when I do have an outbreak. It's grotty and embarrassing and I make sure it's well covered over. It's kind of in the same category as piles to me, I'm not leaving the cream in the open and I'm not bringing it up in conversations...!

I don't know if there's a test you can get done to prove this, but mat herpes and coldsores herpes are usually type 1, and genital is usually type 2. Maybe if there's a way to figure out which strain the doctor diagnosed or something you could trust that it's just something he's embarrassed about?

If you read the OP's posts you will see.

If you're on the browser site click 'see all' next to OP's posts.

Herpes 1&2, .
can have either 1 or 2 on mouth, or genitals.

I can recall girl in secondary having on her lip, another girl shared her soft drink and got one same place on her lip 2 weeks later.

Research shows majority of people exposed, but many never get flare up. You might get flare up years after - if you immune system can suppress it.
so not necessary to just have contact 2 weeks before. can be years before, could be that can of Coke you shared.

Some are triggered by injury, bump on face, chapped lips, sunburn lips. Other illness, fatigue.
Can spread it on your own body if not careful.
Many women get more flare-up in menopause.

Superdrug- you can get antivirals online doctor. You can get many many weeks worth. Taking it as soon as feel it start can mean never get the blister.

Superdrug customers figure out that you must say have genital heroes to get prescription - so if want for mouth, must lie to superdrug. Not really a big deal, caring for self - lip cold sores are painful too!!

Lots of just factual info online. Very very common easily spread virus, not always sex. I’m sure those girls in secondary were not having sex. The one w the cold sore said - don’t drink that - I have a cold sore. The other girl drank it anyway.

I just wanted to say, I have a good friend who was in this situation. The difference being, she didn't keep it a secret. She and her husband are such a great couple and always together, no trust issues or doubts. She has never been unfaithful, adores him. Been together 15 years.... But five ish years ago for the first time ever, she got genital herpes. Neither of them have ever had them. She has never had cold sores. She said it was so painful she couldn't keep it a secret even if she wanted. They never doubted each other. She went to the doctor and the gist from what I recall, was that the virus can lay dormant for some time. He has also had cold sores she says but not for a long time. So, it was either her previous partner or he unwittingly infected her via his virus causing cold sores, two types of same virus can do this according to her gp. There was no cheating. It just means there are other explanations. The virus seems nasty but I believe, very common. Please don't let this situation ruin your marriage unless there really are some other red flags. He sounds believable to me. Trust your gut xx

@abs12 id say it was most likely your friend was infected by the cold sores.
They're infectious before they appear.
If the doctor could have taken a swab and checked if it was the type 1 or 2 virus she could have been more sure. Type 1 would have suggested the cold sores were the culprit.

Urgh. But better than an affair I guess...

@abs12 what is the matter with you? People have oral s@x. And this virus takes its opportunity. Lots of people are infected but are asymptomatic.
Heck, you could be. I could be.

Similar happened to me. I found out in a midwife appointment with our second child. The midwife asked and I said no and he said yes. I was so confused as he had never mentioned it to me and felt like he had just lied are whole relationship. He told me the tablets he took was for he OCD to help calm him down. And he never brought it up again. Luckily I have never caught it. But should of been disclosed to me at the beginning of the relationship not six years later.

Wow!! How did you 'get past' that? @Mummybear94

There is no treatment for it, but that medication is used to suppress / maintain it. So as long as it’s being taken you won’t get outbreaks.

Hope you are ok x

Hey MFT student here and the notion that people in a low sex marriage equals a dysfunctional marriage, and that "if you're not having sex with him, someone else is" are damaging myths. Plenty of people have very happy marriages with all sorts of sexual frequency including no frequency. Patriarchy has used male sexuality against women to scare us into the bedroom with that second myth and created u due pressure on male performance. As many men have "low" sex drives as women. Some men aren't built with a high drive. The time when problems arise is with mismatch. Let's put the patriarchal stuff to bed. If you're not having sex with him and he's stepping out, then you aren't to blame. He's still in charge of his body and you both have some communicating to do.

Not sure if anyone else has said this, but this doesn't look like the dosage for herpes. Was it 3 times a day for 15 days?

Also, if you don't have symptoms of herpes, you can't be tested for it!