Herpes Medication found in my husbands bag

[countrysidefields]

I have just found empty packets of tablets from an online pharmacy box dated 17th dec 2024 for anciclovir in my husbands laptop bag.
All the empty packets and packing was also in the box, like it was hidden in there.
When I googled that medication it's used for genital herpes. He doesn't and never has had cold sores.
I am obviously thinking the worst seeing how it was hidden away. Please don't judge me, I wasn't actually looking on purposes, I happened to come across it.
Am I right to be assuming the worst?

Thank you @TheignT . I went back through the thread and thought I was going crazy!

Honestly, I don't have herpes (or don't think I do...), but I have tried to educate myself, and so many people don't bother, despite the abundant info out there. I suspect you'll agree, @TheignT , that it's no wonder people are secretive about having the virus when adjectives like 'dirty' are flung around. Personally I think partners of people who KNOW they have the virus are the safest, because those partners will take care. People who self righteously think they're 'clean' are the biggest risk!

I don't keep any of my meds in a shared area. If my husband decided to go through my bedside cabinet he'd find my antivirals, levothyroxine and prescription eye drops "hidden" in there. He wouldn't be interested in the slightest.

I'm not ashamed of my underactive thyroid, my dry eyes or my cold sores and I just keep my meds where they are convenient for me. There's no rules that meds have to be kept in a shared area.

Oh yes not knowing you have it definitely makes you more of a risk. I've been married twice and have 4 kids and none of them have ever had an outbreak. If I've passed it to my kids they definitely have immune systems that cope with it much better than mine does.

I just think it is interesting that some of the judgemental people probably do have it.

Whilst I agree with you about screening first, it isn’t that reliable for everything. The only HPV testing is during smears, which doesn’t cover all women, or men at all and even then it is only 70% reliable for those who are screened. Condoms are not reliable protection against it and the risks and consequences are horrific, mostly for women

I know, there's always an element of risk.
As a minimum, I'd do a home HIV test with a new partner, as at least that's easy, and reliable if last potential exposure was long enough ago. I'm very keen on condoms for protection too, although none of the female partners I've had has really wanted to use them.

I had an outbreak of genital herpes. I saw the GP, who sent me to the sexual health clinic. I was horrified and confused, but they tested me and said I had Herpes Simplex 1. I have had cold sores going back as long as I can remember, the doctor at the clinic said it can occur on the genitals without being type 2, and that I'd only tested positive for type 1. I would imagine he could have hidden it as he was also embarrassed as to what you might think, but it can happen this way

Hope you’re ok op. This exact thing happened to me a few years ago. It didn’t end well.

It’s very unlikely he could have had shingles without you knowing OP, it can be quite debilitating.
You would also know if he’d had a coldsore or you’d had one and passed it to him.
I don’t think this drug is used to treat any other condition.
Genital herpes is an STI.
Im struggling to think of any other explanation and particularly in light of the lack of intimacy recently id be massively suspicious. Im sorry OP. You need to talk to him.

Cold sores ARE herpes

They can be taken for many different things. The virus can also lay dormant for years and years. I know lots of people that get funny even with their partners over some illnesses that people assume are like unclean issues. The herpes virus is so so common . Try not to be swayed by people that would automatically assume the worst

Men want sex. Even when they don't want sex. Same with women. We can control the urge to step out of a marriage slightly better than men. But our hormones are all different. But if you're not having sex in your marriage, things aren't ok. And if he's not initiating with you he's finding it elsewhere. Whether this was for herpes or not. Please work on your marriage. Sounds so lonely when it doesn't have to be

Are you new to the concept of a forum?

I think it is unusual to get a second site of infection if you already have a well established first site. You were unlucky with that as having had cold sores for a long time you were unlikely to get it genitally. I've always thought that was the one advantage of having cold sores since an early age.

Cold sore do not carry the stigma genital herpes have even if its the same virus hsv1, lets be real! So i don't believe he was too embarrassed.

He has genital herpes and will have consulation sex with you, to not rock the boat. Later you'll find out he's been cheating.

@TheignT you need to stop spreading misinformation about the herpes blood test making it out like it's useless and that catching genital herpes is so inevitable and so common- it's not.
If you know you have it you should always say even if you haven't had an outbreak in years. I don't think it's dirty I just don't want it!

Men are just as capable as women of controlling the urge to ‘step out of a marriage’. How ridiculous to claim otherwise, it’s just making excuses for poor behaviour.

Also, some people are very happy in sexless marriages - I have a friend who has been married for over 20 years, even in the early days sex was not a big part of their relationship. They have not had sex for 10 years, are very happily married and enjoy their life together. Neither of them are interested in sex, with each other or anybody else.

You cannot apply your ideals to other people’s lives.

Sounds your husbands been being a hoe, but you probably already know that anyway

With DH, I would say I'd found it and just ask gently if there is a medical issue he is worried about.

If it were someone you already suspected or knew to be a cheat, that would be a different story.

Why would you do that based on what he's told her? Not sure I understand? Expecting a different answer because you've asked again maybe?

Surely you would have noticed if he had genital herpes? Even if you haven’t had sex for a while, I assume you would see each other naked, eg getting dressed or getting out of the shower.

Just from safeguarding perspective. If you have genital herpes you should not be uploading pictures of your intimate areas onto an online platform as those images are there forever. The GP online form specifically says do not send pics of intimate areas but describe it.
if they got hacked then your dick pic is out in the world which could have serious implications.

The blood test isn't 100 per cent so if you rely on it 100 you take a risk.

I never said catching genital herpes was inevitable, you are either mistaken or lying. As far as I know I don't have it so why would I think it is inevitable. I'm in my 70s so if it was inevitable I'd have it by now.

I also haven't said you shouldn't tell if you have it, I've just said I don't think there's anything off about buying antivirals from an online pharmacy as my experience is GPs aren't keen to prescribe them even if you get bad outbreaks or oral herpes.

If the antivirals are doing their job well there will be nothing to see.