I need to be honest with my friend and admit that her 50th birthday outing will be too much for me, but feel bad saying it!

[Winterysun]

I'm only two years older than her, am sociable, enjoy going out and I work - BUT I also need 'recharge' time, as I'm more introverted than her.

The planned day is Disneyland Paris, which will mean getting on a coach at 6 am, arriving mid-morning and not getting home until midnight/1 am. I've done Disneyland Paris before when my children were young, and loved it but we stayed for long weekends, rather than rushing around in a day!

I've done similar things before, but feel wiped out by the afternoon after such an early start, and with a lively group I won't have that 'chill time' to get my energy back for the evening (meal & probably a lot to drink)!

I'd love to still celebrate with her, ie, theatre, lunch & sightseeing, local restaurant etc but don't want to disappoint her! Would any of you admit you don't fancy it, or go anyway and possibly struggle to keep up?

I’d go and arrange an hour to myself after lunch to sit and have a coffee if I felt I needed a rest.

I'd warn her in advance I'd need some recharge time at some point - maybe on the coach - and go on the trip with her if she's still willing. Do you have health issues? Fifty two is relatively young to struggle on a day trip.

That sounds hellish to me (and I'm mid-40s, fit and healthy). I think fine to say that would be too much for you. Is the plan set in stone? Or could she adapt if enough people weren't keen?

That's too much for a day trip. Is that something you can actually buy, or is it DIY?

I would go! And I’m a classic introvert so understand completely your reservations. But life is short. The 6am start time can be spent quietly, bring something to read to signal you’re in your zone. Same for the journey back. And then don’t plan anything for the next day. Go, have fun, laugh lots and you will be glad you did!

I absolutely wouldn't do that. What I'd do is book a table at a nice restaurant.

A day trip to Disneyland, for a 50th? That's... niche.

If you fancy it and just don't want such a brutal schedule, could you head to Paris the day before and find a cheap place to overnight? Tbh, I think I'd be "busy" because I hate the whole idea, but that's me.

I am autistic and I feel really drained by being around people for long periods. Having do to do the coach journey as well and essentially being with these people for almost 20 hours would be a lot for me. I'd consider whether to get my own transport and stay overnight so it's not too much in one day and I have some space, but this depends on cost obviously, otherwise explain to her that such a long day would exhaust you but you'd love to do something else such as see a show and have dinner together
. If she's a good friend she should understand.

@LovelyDaaling

Its not a simple day trip though is it
If coach leaves at 6 that probably means up at 5, not getting back till after midnight, with a very busy destination
That's 20 hours.
I'm a bit older but really couldn't face that.
If you can sleep on a coach that's OK, personally I can't. I'd be done by mid afternoon

Bloody hell I would absolutely hate that. I would tell her it’s just too much.

I mean, it sounds awful and wouldn't be my choice.

But. It's one day. I'd go, and be tired, and 'recharge' another day.

I’m not an introvert but that sounds hellish. Could you make your own way to Paris the day before, stay the night and meet her at Disneyland when she arrives?

Can you not put your headphones on during the bus journey and listen to an audio book or something? No one will be lively on the way home either.

Seems a shame to miss out if she's a good friend. And it's just a day.

Book a cheap flight to CDG and meet them at Disneyland? possibility @Winterysun

I reckon a lot of people would be grateful for some recharge time in the afternoon before a boozy dinner, not just you. I would ask her if there is any way to build in a bit of a break - and do some research and see if there is a cafe or something you can book.

Could you travel to Paris the night before and meet her at DLP the next morning?

Me too. It sounds awful 😬

I'd make it work with a few adjustments for my friend. I'd travel the night before and meet her there if she doesn't want to travel beforehand. This way you can lie in, have a wander & then join your friend. You could also stay the night and travel home the next day.

Gosh I can’t believe people are this precious!

You go and you suck it up - it’s about her, not you and you take the hit because it’s a special occasion

I’d go but try and find a quieter part of the park for a bit in the afternoon.

Imagine everyone will be resting on the coach back anyway if it’s an early start.

You'd be standing around in long queues for hours throughout the day.. Ive been there with my niece when we were younger but now I've got a small child myself, I don't think I could ever do anything like that again. It's draining!
If you want to go, is it possible to book the next day/next working day off work so you have an extra day to recharge? If not and if you really don't want to go, just be honest and say you're uncomfortable with such a long day of travelling & standing around and you won't be able to make it but you'd like to plan another occasion to celebrate her birthday instead. That's totally fair, and if she can't accept that then she is being very unreasonable.

I don't have health issues, no! BUT - I've always struggled with the following-

On holiday for example - a day touring, back to hotel, change, then straight out for the evening! I need an hour or two to have a breather, before going back out.

After work, I struggle to do an evening straight after work, i need to recharge first.

A day in London with friends, am fine travelling up, wandering around then having lunch & a few drinks. By mid-afternoon though I need to sit somewhere, and recharge a bit. Some people are like me, others want to climb a tower!

Everyone's different, I realise.

I'm an annual pass holder and even to me that sounds utterly horrendous. By the time you get there you'll probably get on one ride in one park before it's time to turn around and head home again.

I'm guessing that the ladies who think it's no big deal are a good bit younger than the OP and definitely a lot younger than me. At 68, a 20 hour trip to an amusement park would probably put me in the hospital. If not, I'd be genuinely ill for at least a week.

Really? I wouldn’t spend a day at Disneyland at the behest of anyone over the age of ten, and only then if they were close family.