I need to be honest with my friend and admit that her 50th birthday outing will be too much for me, but feel bad saying it!

[Winterysun]

I'm only two years older than her, am sociable, enjoy going out and I work - BUT I also need 'recharge' time, as I'm more introverted than her.

The planned day is Disneyland Paris, which will mean getting on a coach at 6 am, arriving mid-morning and not getting home until midnight/1 am. I've done Disneyland Paris before when my children were young, and loved it but we stayed for long weekends, rather than rushing around in a day!

I've done similar things before, but feel wiped out by the afternoon after such an early start, and with a lively group I won't have that 'chill time' to get my energy back for the evening (meal & probably a lot to drink)!

I'd love to still celebrate with her, ie, theatre, lunch & sightseeing, local restaurant etc but don't want to disappoint her! Would any of you admit you don't fancy it, or go anyway and possibly struggle to keep up?

sounds mental wouldn't be going. and WHY Disneyland ?!

I would have said no from the outset but that’s just me. I’m not rude but I've become unapologetic nowadays over what I will and won’t do. I don't even need a convoluted reason, just a simple sorry, I don’t do stuff like that anymore (early morning start, late night return, full active day inbetween).

I’d hate that.
At the very least, I’d need to get there on my own or come back on my own, if not meet them there and leave on my own. I’d probably book a train to get there.

A day trip to Disney is not long enough imo to see much. You won’t be rushing around a lot as you will spend most of the day in queues. I’m not kidding- the queues are probably 30 mins to 1.5 hours for most rides. So you’ll get your down time, but stood in a queue. I would wait until they go on a popular ride or one with a long queue then go for a coffee nearby.
Honestly, you’ll be lucky to get 4 decent rides done in a day.

Ooooh lets take a guess, just maybe OP's friend likes it there?

The Disney snobbery is out in force on this thread and it's quite funny.

I am 40 and have energy issues. I would feel trapped and claustrophobic being locked into that itinerary. Your friend’s expectations for her 50th aren’t in line with your capacity. If you go and there’s too many conditions it will be frustrating for her and awkward for you. The excitement to the day may mean she forgets what you’ve agreed on and gets carried away.

I personally would not feel comfortable being locked into this. I don’t know how many people are going but you need to be upfront so she has the opportunity to rearrange or invite someone that’s also 48 going on 13 ;)

Maybe offer to meet her there for the ‘come down’ afterwards and have high tea the following day or a Parisian river and dinner cruise.

my DH had his 50th recently and a group of us went out in London for a 'big night out'. One of his pals struggles in certain social situations so no surprise when he called and said, mate, sorry it's just not my thing but can I take you out for a pint & a curry. Absolutely no drama and DH was more than happy to do so.

Frankly when you're going with a crowd, far nicer knowing everyone there wants actually wants to be there and not be fretting about people you know won't enjoy it/can't afford it etc.

I wouldn't go because its going to be an awful lot of tiredness/travelling for very little reward

I don't know where you are in the UK but even if you live on Dover it's going to be 5 hrs on the coach to get to Disney land. Accommodating a stop and waiting time for the tunnel. So you won't get in the park till 11.30. Then you'll have to have finished your boozy dinner by 8pm to get back on the coach. You'll get on about 1 ride. Then have to get a 4-5hr coach ride minimum after drinking a lot

Is the meal in Disney land Paris? Or is she planning to travel onto somewhere else as well? It just sounds like not a very well thought out day. Can you persuade her to incoropate a hotel for the evening?

OP you're assuming others on the coach will be all buzzing the total time, they probably wont

Where are you leaving from by the way, do you all live in the South East coast?

Not sure of the timings.

(ETA: whatever you decide, just don't say yes then pull out last minute once it's all paid for and organised!)

This.
I can think of nothing worse than a coach trip like this. There would be no pleasure it and the distance would make it exhausting. Imagine if there were any delays or cancellations???

And I forgot to say this is my idea of hell anyway but I suspect Im far from alone which is why many on the trip might feel less than enthused too.

And a full bladder and the toilet on the coach is broken

Happy days!

Because the Op specifically mentioned her age, and being (slightly) older than her friend.

Travelling by Eurostar the day before is definitely the best option for not being too tired. Of course, the train and hotel / Airbnb will add to the cost. Depends if you can afford it. I’d do this if I were you. The Eurostar is so easy!

I bet it’ll be a brilliant day and you’ll enjoy it in the end if you do go. But I wouldn’t fancy a 6am coach either!

It wouldn't be my idea of fun, but for my friend's 50th I'd suck it up.

Get earplugs and sleep on the coach both ends.

Suck it up and go, but arrive separately a day before or leave a day later. It will be less tiring and you won’t miss any sleep.

Yes, with young children. Because that's who Disney is for 😅

It already sounds (to me) like a socially draining day, which I would do for a friend's 50th... but not when everyone's going to be in a chatty/fun mood on the coaches! Like you I enjoy (and need) simply switching off on long rides, but I hate to be seen as rude, unsociable, grumpy, or a bit of a vibe-killer, when everyone's excited... despite ‘sucking it up’ and pretending resulting in me feeling 'cold' or grumpy for the actual event!

Definitely look into arriving beforehand - though, depending on your friendship, this may also be seen as kind of ruining the vibe.
Maybe speak to her about it, stressing you'd love to celebrate her birthday, but group travel on top of a crazy day is "a lot" and something you'll struggle with. Going separately means you'll be ready for the exciting day at Disneyland!

On holiday for example - a day touring, back to hotel, change, then straight out for the evening! I need an hour or two to have a breather, before going back out.

After work, I struggle to do an evening straight after work, i need to recharge first.

I get this but the "mental load" will be different here I think. You don't have to do as much worrying as you would in those examples. No thinking about what to wear at various points, getting to places or being vigilante.
You are getting on a coach, going with the group and getting back on a coach . Zero effort required. I bet most of you will be sleeping on the way back

And yet around 40-50% of guests are adults attending without children. Walt himself commented "Adults are only kids grown up"

People enjoy life in different ways, but most aren't judgemental enough to take the piss out of others for the things they personally enjoy.

Aren't we allowed to say no thank you any more?

You don't want to go! Say no politely, nice and early, and what's the drama?

She can't possibly think that anyone everyone will want to go on something like this.

I am not even 50 and cannot do that. If I wake up before 7 , I feel totally sick the whole day

peremenopause, overweight, lung health, tiredness, swollen ankles - I am already 60 in my body

Give me wine and lack of sleep and she has to pull me by the hair back onto the coach because I would have fainted from tiredness by 7 pm

I wouldn’t expect people to not opt out of that schedule in your age group. By 50
i certainly wasn’t trying to cram everything in like that but more paced