I need to be honest with my friend and admit that her 50th birthday outing will be too much for me, but feel bad saying it!

[Winterysun]

I'm only two years older than her, am sociable, enjoy going out and I work - BUT I also need 'recharge' time, as I'm more introverted than her.

The planned day is Disneyland Paris, which will mean getting on a coach at 6 am, arriving mid-morning and not getting home until midnight/1 am. I've done Disneyland Paris before when my children were young, and loved it but we stayed for long weekends, rather than rushing around in a day!

I've done similar things before, but feel wiped out by the afternoon after such an early start, and with a lively group I won't have that 'chill time' to get my energy back for the evening (meal & probably a lot to drink)!

I'd love to still celebrate with her, ie, theatre, lunch & sightseeing, local restaurant etc but don't want to disappoint her! Would any of you admit you don't fancy it, or go anyway and possibly struggle to keep up?

I am 54, in very good health, do a lot of sport and don't have issues going out in a group. This day out wouldn't be enjoyable for me - mainly because of the early start.
I'd do it for my friend but would much prefer something involving less arranging, time keeping and expense.

I am assuming that by posting at all you are worried that your friend won't be okay with you saying no. What is the norm for celebrations with your friendship group? If it's a step up ie usually it's a meal in a restaurant then I hope it would be okay for you to explain it as you have here.

There are a couple of ways round it - firstly you can easily get some down time by skipping X ride and finding a coffee shop as you describe or you could travel in a different way potentially and have a hotel room. Appreciate the later adds to the cost.

What I would do is decide as quickly as possible so she isn't counting you in by default.

Depends where you're leaving from I guess. I drive. Leave Birmingham around 7am, take the Shuttle and usually check in to the hotel around 4, but thats with stops. It's around 3 hours from Calais to DLP car parks, shuttle crossing is half an hour.

Sounds hideous, stressful and exhausting. Why would anyone go to Disneyland without children? Surely you’d barely have time for more than a couple of rides. Nope to getting up at 5am or earlier unless I’m going on a proper holiday. If duck out and offer to do something separately that’s for adults. A nice dinner. Weekend in Paris with a hotel room.

Op has anyone actually looked at the logistics of this day trip? From Southampton to Disneyland Paris it's 7 hours by bus. That gives yous 6? Hours at the parks, the lines will be big so most of it will be waiting around. Then back on the bus home. There really isn't enough time for everything on the plan. Mental!

Could yous not go the day before or for a weekend?

To answer your question, I wouldn't do that day trip due to how rushed everything would be and a waste of money because you won't have time to do much there.

I'm mid thirties and that sounds awful. The ratio of traveling to fun stuff is rubbish. Definitely mention it so she knows it's the plan and not her.

God that sounds awful! I’d def bail!

Username checks out.

Why do people automatically assume this has anything to with age. Some people don’t like stupidly long days in chaotic environments - young and old.

At no age would I have enjoyed this. I'd have a prior engagement forcing me to regretfully decline.

Can't imagine wasting a trip to Paris on Disneyland.

Thats a shame, they aren't mutually exclusive you know.

There's really nothing wrong with being friendly and honest. 'Thanks for inviting me x, but to be honest it's really not my sort of thing. Can I take you out for a meal instead?'
If she is insistent, which would be pretty rude, you could try, 'Honestly I'd rather stick pins in my eyes'.

Can’t imagine wasting a trip to Disneyland on Paris, but plenty of people take a day out to do that

Some people are so different aren't they? I'm like you OP. I would need a recharge somewhere in all of that and the early start would be a killer. It would mean the whole day I'm yawning and probably reflecting regularly when the train home will be.

It's a bit much. If you were all 18 I'd say what fun but at 50 it feels a bit weird to be doing Disneyland Paris though I'm sure it would be fun.

I'd much rather go on a later train, have lunch, pootle around a bit, maybe stay the night and come back the next day in time for lunch at home.

All a bit strained and forced to be a good time in my view. I'd suggest maybe getting a later train and meeting them for lunch maybe? But overall I'm not sure how fun even that would be. It's just a very very long day out constantly with lots of people who may be nice but it'll just be ever so hectic and constantly needing to be 'on'. I also need a sit down and bit of quiet space.

Well said.

I love Disney and am 50 but you’ll manage about four rides before you need to turn around and come back again. It’s a stupid plan

If you decline, don't feel bad about it. Better that than being miserable, I am an early morning person but not all people are.

It would be too much for me. Also, with roads the way they are, I wouldn't bank on everything running perfectly smoothly and being able to meet the now day itinerary.

Well, while it wouldn't be my choice for fun, I would do it for my friend's 50th. Assuming that she's a good friend that is. It's only one day, so I would just do it and be tired the next day. You're only 52 OP, are you sure there are no underlying issues? I'm 58 and although it's a long day, I would sleep on the way back.

I'd pay good money to avoid having to go on a day trip like that.

This is way too much for 1 day. Just the 6am coach would put me off. However it is only one day and if it means a lot to her I would force myself to do it. If she is not that bothered if you don’t go then arrange something else just the two of you.

Sounds horrific. I wouldn't go.

This is true, however, some people would do this for their friend.

I am early 30s and it sounds like hell!!!