I need to be honest with my friend and admit that her 50th birthday outing will be too much for me, but feel bad saying it!

[Winterysun]

I'm only two years older than her, am sociable, enjoy going out and I work - BUT I also need 'recharge' time, as I'm more introverted than her.

The planned day is Disneyland Paris, which will mean getting on a coach at 6 am, arriving mid-morning and not getting home until midnight/1 am. I've done Disneyland Paris before when my children were young, and loved it but we stayed for long weekends, rather than rushing around in a day!

I've done similar things before, but feel wiped out by the afternoon after such an early start, and with a lively group I won't have that 'chill time' to get my energy back for the evening (meal & probably a lot to drink)!

I'd love to still celebrate with her, ie, theatre, lunch & sightseeing, local restaurant etc but don't want to disappoint her! Would any of you admit you don't fancy it, or go anyway and possibly struggle to keep up?

Ditto

I would hate that trip so would definitely try to find a nice excuse.

You are just 52?? You don't sound it.

Nope. I would tell her that you love her but you can’t cope with it. My kids did that same thing when they were robust teenagers at secondary school and half the bus came back exhausted and ill. Life is too short to put up with this crap in your 50s.

I'd have struggled with this in my early twenties, now I'm 45 and it would still be an absolute no! Your friend is being very unreasonable if she expects everyone to join her at DLP. She should have another option, like a meal out close to home, for those who can't or aren't willing to do this.

If she objects to you not going to an amusement park for her 50th birthday, she still has some growing up to do....

It's an expensive day out for something you are not sure about. I'd just say "I'd love to celebrate with you but disney in a day sounds like a bit too much in for me, how about we go for a meal together another time?" Disney in a day sounds like a nightmare to me....

Agree. Do you really need a recharge every day? It's a one off literally once in your lifetime day. I'd be disappointed you couldn't manage for a day unless you have additional needs.

I recently went on a coach & train holiday with dh, for us, travelling is part of our relaxation as we can both 'zone out' early morning/late evening, gazing out the window/in our own heads pace with the odd chat.

This is more a group who'd be passing round the prosecco and playing Charades at midnight! They're fun, I like all of them but I couldn't keep.up with them for so many hours!

Maybe travelling up the night before is an option, I'll look at cost.

I wouldn’t want to go. You can do something else nice with her - even if you take her out for a nice meal separately

The struggle isn't related to physicality or age it is the mental effort of these continuous activities, I'm 40 and have struggled to jump from one thing to the next since childhood, it's perfectly reasonable and shouldn't be thought of as pathetic or weak.

Extreme day trips are very in right now. I love them but they're exhausting so not for everyone.
I'd sleep on the journeys and arrange a rest day for my return.

I never even knew this was an option from the UK! Is it a tip you'd want to make? If so, I agree with staying a night or 2 at least.

When you say 'recharge' do you mean you sleep? Or just sit there there doing nothing? How long does a 'recharge' take?

Another vote for travelling the previous day (or earlier) and meeting them at the park.

Are you the sort of person who might plausibly be in Europe anyway?

Why not just spread it over two days, then? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Urghh, I think that sounds awful - I adore my friends but would find a way out of that. TBF none of my friends would impose a trip like that on each other though! I would definitely come up with an excuse and offer a nice 1:1 celebration with her - dinner and show or similar. Btw I'm mid 40s, fit and energetic but could not tolerate that - plus Disney adults kind of give me the creeps....

Op i totally get not wanting to do the day trip. It sounds horrific. It's the sort of thing I'd do when I was in my 20s to keep the cost down.

I think I'd say it's far too long a day, having an overnight would be a much better experience even if it is more expensive.

Would you want to go if it included an overnight?

It wouldn't be my cup of tea, I'm not a Disney fan, but I'd do it for a friend. It's only one day. Take earbuds, nap on the coach, plan something quiet for the next day.

You’re 52 not 82. It will be fine, it’s one day. If she’s your friend you suck it up, have fun and make the day about her. That’s what friends do. Recharge another day. If you really can’t manage it, stay overnight and come back the next day

By 'recharge', I don't sleep in the day, no! I find just sitting for half hour with a coffee can refresh me, or on a coach, gazing out the window. Or even sat in the park, people watching before going back to the group.

I'm out quite a lot actually, but do need gaps in between, activities.

My heart would sink at the mere thought, but I know of others who’d enjoy it.
At 50 I’d probably have gone anyway, though, glued a smile on over gritted teeth and tried not to look as if I wished I was back home in P&Q and comfort!

An extra couple of hundred quid, I would imagine

Could you suggest travelling the night before, staying in a hotel for a night and then being fresh for a full day in Disney.

As a Mum of a young adult child who is ND and finds socialising very draining I totally get the need to recharge, zone out or face being drained out to the point of a shutdown.

I would either change the travel plans to avoid the massively long day or have a frank conversation about it being too much for you and do something different to celebrate at another point in time. A good friend will understand and want you to be enjoying yourself.

I wouldn’t go because it sounds like hell on earth. Disney? For a group of 50 year olds?

I am 52 and to me, one of the great joys of age is being able to say NO. Niece’s hen- night? No. Friend’s fancy dress party? Nope.

It’s very liberating.

Can you not do that when you're there? I went on a similar group visit to Alton Towers, but we weren't all joined at the hip. I managed to carve out bits of time for myself pretty easily. Given that you'll all have phones, you can easily check in to find each other again.