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Original poster

Not getting DD the one thing she's asked for for Christmas

263 replies

FrankSinatrasLoveChild · 23/12/2024 08:53

I can't kick the guilt.

DD is 15, and has begged for an iPhone. She has a fairly decent android, and we're all on Android in the family. I have no clue about iPhones. I still have quite a lot of blocks and controls on her phone (a source of much tension), and wouldn't know how to maintain those on iPhone. Her reason for wanting an iPhone? The cameras on iPhones are so much more "compatible with social media" (i.e. - I assume? make you look better). It just doesn't sit right with me.

I've got her some clothes and make-up (she's really picky, though, so not a massive amount), and am going to give her some money to buy herself a new pair of trainers.

I've warned her she's not getting what she's asked for, but I know she's still hoping.

I just feel really bad about it. I'm not wrong, am I...?

OP posts:
Trollsandsqueakforbreakfast · 23/12/2024 08:54

You're not wrong. She's 15, you're still her parent.

littlemissprosseco · 23/12/2024 08:54

No you’re not wrong
They have to learn Christmas isn’t just about stuff!

Dobbythechristmaself · 23/12/2024 08:55

You’re not wrong. Nightmare to use different platform phones. And it’s ok for kids not to get everything.

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Families
StaceysMom17 · 23/12/2024 08:55

I would have got her it personally. Your reasons aren’t really justified IMO. It makes sense that she wants a better camera. I would be disappointed with clothes and makeup at her age

Trollsandsqueakforbreakfast · 23/12/2024 08:56

StaceysMom17 · 23/12/2024 08:55

I would have got her it personally. Your reasons aren’t really justified IMO. It makes sense that she wants a better camera. I would be disappointed with clothes and makeup at her age

There's nothing wrong with being disappointed and sitting in that feeling.

Original poster
FrankSinatrasLoveChild · 23/12/2024 08:57

Thank you all.

@StaceysMom17 I think you're right that she'll be disappointed. I am doing a lot of self-doubting, and even wavering a bit on whether to just go out and get her one on a contract....

OP posts:
Original poster
FrankSinatrasLoveChild · 23/12/2024 08:58

Is it true that iPhones have such better-quality cameras? If so, WHY?! Surely some androids are as good?

OP posts:
Moonlightstars · 23/12/2024 08:59

Not wrong. Person that I would tell her now that she's definitely not getting it so she's not upset on Christmas day.
It's also a hugely expensive present to get a decent one.

EnFlique · 23/12/2024 08:59

Maybe she can save up to buy one herself?

It’s frustrating that parental controls aren’t universal, but realistically how long would you expect/want to keep monitoring? Once she is 16 would you stop?

If she does get one at some point before then these apps work cross platform.

Not getting DD the one thing she's asked for for Christmas
TitaniasAss · 23/12/2024 08:59

StaceysMom17 · 23/12/2024 08:55

I would have got her it personally. Your reasons aren’t really justified IMO. It makes sense that she wants a better camera. I would be disappointed with clothes and makeup at her age

I disagree, she's still a child and that in itself means that the OPs reasons are justified. Life isn't just about looking good on social media, certainly not for a 15 year old.

I would also argue that the camera is better on the iPhone - my pixel has a much better camera that DHs iPhone.

CombatBarbie · 23/12/2024 09:00

Tbh she isn't wrong about the camera quality, my dds have iphones, I am Android. The only Android phone I've had that was better was the Hauwai P30.

Does she work? As in could you offer to go halves? You can pick up refurbished 14s for 3/400.

K0OLA1D · 23/12/2024 09:00

My dc will be getting an iPhone when they can pay for one themselves.

Yanbu

Givemethreerings · 23/12/2024 09:02

You’re not wrong. They’re so expensive.

She’s only 15 and has the rest of her life to own and scroll on Apple products.

Hate the idea that an iPhone should be standard issue for 15 year old girls!!

MerryLiftMass · 23/12/2024 09:02

Personally I think as long as you allow her to be disappointed then no one is wrong.

Punishing children for natural feelings (as long as the are expressed in an appropriate way) is unfair, you already know it’s all she wants so expect her disappointment and allow her to feel it.

twistyizzy · 23/12/2024 09:02

That's why we have never got DD everything on her list. They need to deal with not getting everything they want.
We will never buy DD an iPhone, partly because we could never justify the money but guaranteed she would lose it etc.
If your DD wants one that badly then she can save up for it herself.

Soccermumamir · 23/12/2024 09:03

I would of got her one, but that doesn't mean that you're in the wrong. We all parent differently. Can't she put the money you've given her towards one, and may be save up during the year to get one instead?

Lifestooshort71 · 23/12/2024 09:03

You've made a decision as her parent and need to stand by it. I'd tell her today that it's definitely not happening and get any tears out of the way. Next year she'd be mithering you for the upgrade thst 'all her friends have got' and it never ends. I begged and begged for my own pony at 14 (we had a farm) and ended up with a pair of goats! Please don't be coerced in to something you don't want to do.

FuckMeUpFlorida · 23/12/2024 09:06

I'm on android and DH has an iPhone.

We both agree photos taken from my Android (Samsung S21+) are far superior to DH IPhone.

Not sure if this translates over to your devices, just an observation from those who have both.

ThereIsALifeOutThere · 23/12/2024 09:09

FrankSinatrasLoveChild · 23/12/2024 08:58

Is it true that iPhones have such better-quality cameras? If so, WHY?! Surely some androids are as good?

I have an iPhone.

They're expensive, more expensive than androids and some androids have much better cameras. (My DCs who swear by androids do have better ones tbh)

i prefer them re the way you use them. It might well just be that I’m really used to them and feel lost in front of an android.

Having said that, seeing the price of one of them, you’re well in your rights to say No.

IceCreamMundae · 23/12/2024 09:09

”I’m not getting you an iPhone because I’d have to re-learn how to control your access.”

So, not because you don’t want her to have a phone generally, and not because you don’t want her to have the camera at all. And It sounds like she is already using social media,

I don’t think any of your arguments hold water.

I have an iPhone, and the camera is excellent. I don’t think the interface with social media is any more integrated than an android, but it does take really good pictures.

InkHeart2024 · 23/12/2024 09:11

iPhones don't have better cameras than Samsungs. Depends what android you have as android is the operating system not the brand of phone. If her phone is genuinely a bit crap then an upgrade to a second hand Samsung galaxy would provide a better camera and also allow you to continue to have parental controls.

ThereIsALifeOutThere · 23/12/2024 09:11

Fwiw, I’ve never bought my dcs their phones when they were teens. They had Money from b’day etc…, pocket money and bought it like this.
In part because what I’d consider good enough wasn’t what they wanted! 😂😂

It solved many issues

(Paid for the SIM etc… though)

HoppingPavlova · 23/12/2024 09:12

I have an iPhone that gets updated every 2 years. DH has android updated every 2 years. His camera always seems better than mine, so if they are ‘important’ photos such as kids graduations etc we make sure the photos get taken from his android phone (a Samsung). No way I’d get an iPhone for the purpose of better photos!

InkHeart2024 · 23/12/2024 09:12

CombatBarbie · 23/12/2024 09:00

Tbh she isn't wrong about the camera quality, my dds have iphones, I am Android. The only Android phone I've had that was better was the Hauwai P30.

Does she work? As in could you offer to go halves? You can pick up refurbished 14s for 3/400.

The Samsung high end phones have cameras that are far better than the equivalent iPhone (apart from the iPhone 16 pro)

LegoInfestation · 23/12/2024 09:15

I'm on Apple for computer/tablet and mobile. They're very easy to use even coming from Android.

BUT I can only afford the lowest spec iPhone which is an SE and the camera is crap comparing the photos it takes to most of my friends/family's Android phones!

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