Smelly friend advice please

[Bringithere]

I met this friend about 2 years ago. I love spending time together and we can chat away about everything and anything for hours on end . Quite often she can be smelly though . She has IBS and needs the loo a lot. She showers every day but doesn’t change her trousers or leggings for days and sometimes when she has gone home, the seat where she’s sat is really smelly and I need to clean it. She has close friends who she has known for many years, so they would be in a far better position to have mentioned it if they’d had a problem with it. Can any one think of anything I can do ( either practically to protect the sofa ) or tactfully handle this ? She is such a lovely person, I’d hate to upset or embarrass her but sometimes it’s really noticeable.

BaldingClare that’s exactly it. But I don’t feel I can say “You need to change your trousers daily”, when her IBS is bad.

How do you know she showers daily and why would having Ibs make her clothes smell, unless she craps her pants 🤷🏻‍♀️

This. As far as I'm aware IBS doesn't make you smell unless you're not wiping thoroughly or you're crapping your pants.

Are you saying she smells of poo or is it an unwashed body sort of smell?

Not sure I could bring it up with a friend either way, I'd just pop a cheap throw down.

Put a throw down if you really like your friend

No it’s not all over BO, it’s just as BaldingClare says, the smell of arse 🫣. No idea if wiping properly is a problem. I’ve got another
friend with IBS that often flares and she and her clothing never smells, so I totally agree this is either a wiping properly or changing clothing enough. Or maybe a bit of both. A washable through is going to have to be the solution because unless anyone has any ideas of non or least offensive ways to broach this, I just can’t.

I agree BaldingClare. I sprinkled bicarbonate of soda all over the cushion, left it for a few hours and hoovered it, then sprayed it with pillow spray. That seemed to sort it. I’m definitely going to get a throw that will go in the wash .

Don't mean to sound silly but - what is the smell of arse, if it's not the smell of poo? How can she not be wiping properly or using some wet wipes or whatever, she's an adult. She should be showering and changing her clothes every day. There is no way I would be dealing with this and even thinking about washable throws, I would avoid her.

What does arse smell like 🙈

😂🤮

Can you bring up maybe adding a bidet attachment to her toilet? This will help her smell better and feel fresher, and soothe the area.

We recently got a bidet attachment that sits under the toilet seat for around £40. I am so grateful for it as I have regular stomach issues. Feel so much fresher and cleaner than when just using toilet roll, and saves money too.

Maybe say you saw them in the prime deals and thought about getting one, it might be handy for her? I think everyone should get one!

There are also large body wipes and waterless foam sprays you can get for people who are unable to bath/shower often due to disability.

Afraid I'd write an anonymous note. She'll have to wear pads, wash, change her pad, knickers trousers at least daily. She's at risk of nasty infections if she doesn't stay clean to add to her woes.

I have IBS and my farts smell like something crawled up there and died. If it happened too often amongst friends etc then I'd buy those charcoal knickers that are meant to absorb the smell. I can imagine perhaps the smell would get ingrained in clothing if she doesn't change it for days. I wouldn't know, my entire outfit goes into the laundry basket at the end of each day. She could even be silently farting into the sofa which probably isn't going to help matters but she can't help the farts. She could wash her clothes and buy charcoal knickers though. Perhaps she's skint and can't afford to run the washing machine/change clothes as often as necessary.

OP she wouldn't be coming back into my house again. I'd only meet her out in public like a cafe, park or something. I wouldn't say anything because it's embarrassing if she then has to explain just how skint she is. If she hasn't noticed because she's nose blind to it or is aware but believes it ok, then sadly I'd just consider it her responsibility to sort out as an adult and not my responsibility to "mother" her by telling her to sort it. I believe in accepting people as they are, so either stay friends with her or don't, but don't ask her or expect her to change.

I’ve just come on to say that your username is appalling. There are millions of options, and you choose someone’s actual name. And as for your contribution….

A throw is a great idea. I'd be tempted to put one of those large protective pads under the throw as well. I do feel a bit sorry for her, she'd be mortified if she knew. That said, I can't imagine why she can't smell it herself.

This is what keeps me awake at night reading MN instead of sleeping 😂😂😂

The professionally offended are out in force.
How daft you sound.
Dear oh dear.

U OK hun 🍷

OneFingerOneThumbKeepMoving. A protective pad between the cushion and the throw is a really good idea, Definitely they’re not skint. She’s better off financially than I am for sure. I think she doesn’t have a good sense of smell or is nose blind.

StormingNorman the smell BaldingClare describes is exactly what it’s like. I’ve smelled it on buses sometimes or occasionally on someone in front of me in a queue. It doesn’t help that I have a really good sense of smell.

I am fortunate to have never smelled arse.

I do know that using baby lotion on toilet paper is an effective way of wiping clean external piles instead of those expensive wipes.