Smelly friend advice please

[Bringithere]

I met this friend about 2 years ago. I love spending time together and we can chat away about everything and anything for hours on end . Quite often she can be smelly though . She has IBS and needs the loo a lot. She showers every day but doesn’t change her trousers or leggings for days and sometimes when she has gone home, the seat where she’s sat is really smelly and I need to clean it. She has close friends who she has known for many years, so they would be in a far better position to have mentioned it if they’d had a problem with it. Can any one think of anything I can do ( either practically to protect the sofa ) or tactfully handle this ? She is such a lovely person, I’d hate to upset or embarrass her but sometimes it’s really noticeable.

I can't say I've ever smelt arse either. Old sweat from groin/c section apron/underboob yes. Especially bad if it's old, not been washed off , and then reinvigorated with a new round of sweat. But shitty arse, no, can't say I ever get close enough to someone to smell that! Also never known an IBS sufferer to fart in my presence, or to smell in my presence at all.

I mean. She's not a kid, but a natural consequence would be 'oh what's that smell, can you smell that too? There's a weird fart smell in here', as that's what would likely happen in public 🤷 don't have to call her out directly to draw attention to it!

I think this would be even more embarrassing! I would be absolutely mortified if people were complaining about a smell and realised the smell was actually me.

You’d avoid someone you had a close friendship with because of some weird bodily function / personal hygiene issue? Wow

I used to work in elderly care and that smell is very real. Especially when someone is too frail to bathe easily. We used to use cloth wipes well covered with gentle soap and a few drops of hibiscrub.

Have a look at funnyfuzzy.co.uk sofa covers. Great for pets and arse smells.

I use hibiscrub for my dogs and I’ve often wondered if it can be used for humans. Amazing product that cures EVERYTHING skin/wound related.

I've never smelt this either but as an IBS sufferer and someone who lost their sense of smell I'm now wondering if I'm leaving a lovely smell trail 😯

Unless it was someone who genuinely couldn't help the problem such as a child, elderly or disabled person etc, then absolutely.

Sometimes a conversation is all it takes to make someone more aware. Sometimes if a person is vulnerable there could be many other issues feeding into it (eg. poverty, mental health, self-neglect). But that doesn't seem to be the case here.

IBS and issues like Crohn's don't prevent someone from showering and changing their clothes daily. Ultimately faecal odour is deeply antisocial and I wouldn't choose to be visiting restaurants, cinemas etc with someone who smells like that, or having to wash down my soft furnishings.

Doesn’t sound linked to her condition rather her personal hygiene / laundry routine so I wouldn’t get in your head x

That would be cause for divorce in my house lol, ‘botty’ has to be one of the worst words ever 🤢

I have IBS. Luckily haven’t had a flare up in years but when I was in the height of stress and flare ups, I definitely did not smell of arse! If I was having a bad day with it I wouldn’t go out because I simply couldn’t due to the pain of it and needing to be near (my own) loo. When I could go out, I was clean with clean clothes. She just sounds really manky if she doesn’t wash her clothes. I don’t know how you can say it without offending her though

I really thought I might get one or two replies to this not all these. Thanks so much everyone. I agree it’s not the condition but the clothes and or farts and or sweat accumulating over the day. Combined with a not very good sense of smell.

If I can find the bottle and the words to mention it I will. In the meantime I will go for some sofa protecting strategies. Hellohelga Funnyfuzzy looks to have some really good throws that cover the whole couch rather than one seat cushion . That would look really obvious so id have to get 2 to not make it look personal. A whole throw is good and they look pretty cosy .

I have IBS and people don't fight to stand upwind of me!

Your friend's smell isn't caused by IBS, it's caused by her not wiping properly, showering too infrequently, re-wearing sweaty trousers for days on end, then walking 15,000 steps (in between trips to batter the porcelain).

I appreciate how uncomfortable the conversation is but she will thank you in the long run - and so will your soft furnishings. There's no way I would be buying a throw purely to use as an Arsecrack Absorber 😭

I agree with PP- it's nothing to do with her IBS and everything to do with her personal hygiene. Two of my friends suffer IBS- one very seriously and neither of them have ever smelt.

I suspect it's due to her not changing her clothes regularly enough. If she is leaking a bit and doesnt keep on top of her hygiene or doesnt launder her clothes afterwards the smell will linger because its not been removed from the clothes.

I dont agree that others should just have to put up with it, its not pleasant to have chairs smell after someone visits or constantly have to smell poo, and its not as if she is a child or severely disabled that she cant do anything about it.

I am in peri and have very heavy flooding periods as an example and I would be horrified if I had left marks or smells on someone's chairs. The issue isnt my fault, but it IS my responsibility not to do that and to launder my clothes appropriately. This is just basic hygiene.

Hibiscrub can indeed be used for humans, was given some for baby DS once when FIL brought him back with a raging happy rash that was sore for weeks, poor baby!

It's a pun you twat

Hibiscrub is brilliant stuff - DH had to shower using it pre-operatively and it's gentle as long as you don't overdo it. We used it sparingly but often in a nursing home for those who weren't easy to bathe and it stops skin fold rashes/soreness as well as odours. It's also very good for hand washing.

My best friend has IBS and always smells as fresh as a daisy! She showers morning and night and changes her clothes daily. At their home they have flushable toilet wet wipes instead of loo paper, which are really good.
I think your friend is nose blind and not changing underwear, tights etc often enough.
I’d struggle to have them in my home tbh, a throw etc that you bung in the machine might work. You can’t be the only one who has noticed though?

batter the porcelain

Between that and your username, I am more than amused 😂😂😂

I immediately thought of this (scroll on by if you were offended by Little Britain).

We have a student at work who was a traveller and when they started would smell awful, I can imagine it was old arse smell 🙈🤣 I have a strong sense of smell and couldn't be around her. Several staff complained to the manager, as it spread all over the room, who had a word with her and said there is a smell around you, we have plenty of showers here you can use if you aren't able to get one where you are. Apparently she didn't respond in any way emotionally or reactive and just stayed calm and said ok. My manager told me as I'm also a manager but lower grade, I wouldn't have known where to start with that chat. It was on and off better for a few months but now has gone..🙌 your friend might not be aware of it.

I do have a very good sense of smell but surely can’t be the only person who’s noticed it . If I can get the courage up and mention it I will. In the meantime I’m ordering one of the FunnyFuzzy throws mentioned. They have a good discount at the moment and for the size I need wouldn’t be expensive.

I try! 😁

@Hellohelga I use Hibiscrub daily in the shower, it is amazing! I literally have no smell anywhere on my body! Even in the height of summer it keeps the smells away. I used to have awful cysts/boil break outs all the time before I started using it. That's very rare now.
I always have a good rinse off after I've used it, as it can be quite harsh on your skin.
My first experience was pre-op 12 years ago and I loved it. I buy 5ltrs at a time and it lasts 2/3 years!
As for your friend and bum stink @Bringithere I'd go with the throw and a puppy pad underneath. Hoping you can find a way to get round this delicate issue 💐