You never know what people are going through

[Downunderduchess]

This morning I was shopping, I saw a young woman who looked really well groomed & put together, as I passed her I said how glamorous she looked for so early in the morning. She looked surprised and said thanks. I smiled and kept going. About 30 seconds later she found me and said thank you that she really needed to hear that. She looked quite emotional. I told her she was very welcome.

I quite often compliment people I see in public if they have a pretty dress on or their hair looks great etc. I’m so glad I did today especially. A little thing can mean something to someone.

I hope you understand that not everyone welcomes unsolicited comments about their appearance.

Good grief, there’s always one. A good deed never goes unpunished, eh?

Do you understand that not everyone welcomes unsolicited comments that piss on their chips?

OP brightened up somebody's day and it was appreciated

What is it about something happening that has made two people happy that causes you to need to be negative about it?

Edited to say that it's lovely to hear positive interactions @Downunderduchess for a change because this thread shouldn't become about negativity!

Because on mn we must never interact in any way with anyone outside “my little family” without it being an intrusion. Obv 😬

Well OP has no idea how many times she might have upset someone with her comments but they've been too polite to say to her. She's presuming that she brightens someone's day when she quite often compliments people.

It's lovely that it was appreciated by the woman today but I don't think it's something to be encouraged.

Whose day is ruined by a kind compliment? I can’t believe this is the response from anyone.

well done OP, the more kindness shared in the world a better place it will be

Well, if someone gets upset by another person saying something positive then that is on them.

I can't imagine a time where I would be offended if someone gave me a compliment.

@CroysantNotKwason

I was just thinking how nice this was of the op. I did the same with a lady my age a few months ago as she looked so stylish and glowing / happy. She also said it had made her day and had a huge smile on her face.

I'm curious to know under what circumstances you think someone might not be happy with such a comment? I'm not being proactive- I genuinely can't think of one

As I said I often compliment people (women mostly). In the many years I’ve been doing it I think I’ve only had one person look perplexed and that’s ok. Generally speaking people appreciate it, they smile or say thanks. I think I have good enough sense to know what not to say. And contrary to what you say I think it should definitely be encouraged! A small exchange between two people can bring a little joy into someone’s day. You keep being you and I’ll keep being me.

*provocative.

Although you may have had the best intentions, it is not polite to compliment someone that you don't know. Compliments from strangers can sometimes feel intrusive..

They may wonder if there's an ulterior motive, (scammer, etc...).
Also, if you live in diverse town or area what seems like a compliment in one culture could be inappropriate or offensive in another.

🍿
You did a lovely thing OP. I do it too, love it when someone asks me where I got something/what my perfume is, and I pay it back and ask others whilst complimenting them. Am in the north - think they maybe makes a difference

Ok so it's not ok (according to 2 pps on here) .. 'I love your dress. It looks great on you' ?

Goodness

What a lovely post, this has made me smile. I'm going to try be more complimentary tomorrow! X

It’s these little human interactions that make life! I saw a lady at a bus stop in my town wearing a (very unusual/distinctive) jacket that I also have. I got her attention and said “Wow I have that jacket too, isn’t it fab!” And we had a wee chat about how warm it is. Turned out we’d both seen the same character wearing it on a TV show and ended up hunting it down and buying it. It was really cool to find something in common with a fellow human being.

The naysayers' comments were so miserable I burst out laughing.

Something tells me they'll be horrified to learn that they unwittingly spread a bit of happiness to a complete stranger 😂

More good interactions more often. That's what we need as a society. Plenty of negative ones. Which are def unwelcome.

👏

I remember one particular day about three years ago vividly. I'd been in court that morning following a protracted custody battle in which my coercively controlling (and very wealthy) ex-husband has been granted majority care of my two sons. I remember reeling with the realisation that this had happened, and that the courts had not seen through the incredibly manipulative man before them.
Needing to get out, I took my very young daughter to a local coffee shop where I tried my hardest to instill some normality to our day. To be honest it wasn't working that well, despite making every effort to engage with my daughter the same as I always did, and I was consumed with very dark thoughts that I was trying hard to battle.
As I was finishing my coffee, a lady I'd never met came up to me and said "Excuse me, but if you don't mind me saying so, I just wanted to say what a lucky little girl your daughter is to have you. I can see what a great bond you have - you go, mama.
She will never know it and I've never seen her since, but that day that lady was my guardian angel. Without her I would not be here today❤️

Oh, yes, "You look nice" is considered a shocking insult in ... er, no cultures whatsoever 🙄

I will grant you that some cultures might hear "What a lovely scarf" as an invitation to gift said scarf to the speaker. So it's best not to compliment others' belongings when speaking the relevant language in the relevant regions. Over here, speaking English, it is widely understood as a passing compliment. The scarf-wearer might say thanks, they might want to tell you where they got it, or they might ignore you. What they won't do is either whip it off and shove it in your handbag or feel offended, fgs!

@CroysantNotKwason, I think you've misunderstood the rule about unsolicited comments on someone's appearance. It's risky to comment on what someone is - fat, slim, tall, suntanned, red-haired, etc. It's never wrong to admire what someone's done - put their outfit together, styled their hair, chosen a perfume, trimmed their beard.

I can imagine a time: White Van Man shouting "nice tits" as he drives past.

Or indeed any time that a man has commented on my appearance.

Yes but those are unsolicited things that I said like someone walking past and saying you're overweight. She was paying the woman a huge compliment not insulting her.

That's lovely OP 😊, sounds like she really appreciated it.

(Must admit though if someone did that to me I would assume they had escaped from somewhere 🤣).

I complimented a woman today on her hat. She was adjusting it anxiously in the mirror. I told her it looked great, very cute and chic in a French way and she was really pleased, said she’d doubted herself but would wear it with confidence now. it did look very fabulous.