You never know what people are going through

[Downunderduchess]

This morning I was shopping, I saw a young woman who looked really well groomed & put together, as I passed her I said how glamorous she looked for so early in the morning. She looked surprised and said thanks. I smiled and kept going. About 30 seconds later she found me and said thank you that she really needed to hear that. She looked quite emotional. I told her she was very welcome.

I quite often compliment people I see in public if they have a pretty dress on or their hair looks great etc. I’m so glad I did today especially. A little thing can mean something to someone.

God this thread is so depressing. Keep spreading the kindness OP

You have completely missed the point.

The OP didn't know the woman was going through a tough time. She didn't compliment her as a way to console her. She just did it because she saw something she liked, and thought she would share her appreciation. And as it turned out, it meant even more to the woman than the OP could have guessed. But it was worthwhile regardless.

The moral is - don't hold back on compliments - share your joy in lovely things and appreciate what you see. Not "go around identifying sad people and think of something nice to say, but only if they are nicely dressed".

I cannot believe some of the miseries on this thread.

Just laughing so much at the ‘mood hoovers’ on here - they must be so much fun and really enhance society 😉 OP I am with you - always do it and people appreciate it. They should watch Troy Hawke on FB and pick up
a few feel good tips.

I love it on the rare occasions I get random compliments. Admittedly it doesn't happen often so I treasure it :D

We were once on the train with my autistic older boy when he was small. When we pulled up at a stop a lovely woman stood up to get off, leaned down to us and put a two-pound coin in his hand with a smile and said 'you're a lovely lad'. It was just lovely and I've never forgotten.

Yeah - I go around looking like something that stumbled out of a rubbish dump most days, and feeling like it too. It would be extremely strange to compliment my appearance at such times; I'd wonder what the hell you were on about and assume you had a vision problem 🤔 I would not find this cheering, just odd.

On the other hand, if you caught me on a day when I've had the energy to try and put myself together, I'd be thrilled to hear I'd done it somewhat successfully!

Actually, writing this has motivated me to do my best tomorrow. It'll be a marathon task: I'll need to dye, cut and style my hair, deforest my legs and put at least some makeup on. Then I might lurk around town for a while, hoping for a Mumsnetter who's read this thread to make my day 🤣

If you manage to knit your legs into tights, you will receive comments of wonder and awe from so many of us as you rock down the street

Actually you've reminded me of a chat I had with my severely visually impaired cousin a few months ago. She has an interesting dress sense and a chap in a van pulled up at traffic lights, wound down the window and told her she must be blind to be wearing her outfit. She took great delight in waving her cane at him and confirming that she is.

That's not a compliment though, that's an attention seeking loudmouth.

There's a difference and I'm sure OP wasn't a leering lech.

It's an idea 😂

It was a funny story, where the chap in the van got his come uppance. Nobody is suggesting OP was a leering lech. Actually he doesn't even fit the description of a leering lech. He was simply laughing at someone and thought he would get away with it.

I had that in my pub last night.
We had a group of guys in, they were rowdy and then, at closing, were downright rude to me. One of them demanded a pint and I said, sorry we did call last orders but X pub has a late licence so if you pop that way, you can grab beer.

He proceeds to get very angry at this, using the excuse that he has been at his mates funeral so I should give him a pint.

Two of my wonderful regulars were in, listening (and no doubt ready to help if I needed it bless them). I said, mate, it's not the grief Olympics, I lost my sister in my March and I'm not behaving like you.

They left, and my regular pair came over, all concerned! It's not something I advertise about, and they were saying that with everything going on of taking the bar on, renovating it, getting it open, etc, I had that going on too.

I guess some of us do hide stuff. I'm not a sympathy seeker. I get on with it. Sometimes a song comes on the stereo that makes me a tad teary eyed but I excuse myself for two minutes and then come back, lipstick tidied and ready to go.

I’ve always responded to that with “thanks, I grew them myself”.

they usually have absolutely no idea how to respond to that, and wipes that smirk off their face as if they’d got one over you…

My post came straight after yours, but I was replying to the poster who chopped her hair off after getting a compliment. She also had a white van man comment.

Your story is funny indeed, good on your cousin.

Few things I regret in life, one being not giving compliments when I should have.

Challenge for tomorrow, give at least one compliment.
Might be to you @garlicpest
Although, read it as defrost my legs at first. Thought, not another dramatic one, it's 14°!!! 😅

Good on you, op. My 19 year old daughter lacks confidence and has had a difficult time recently. She came home one day about two weeks ago and told me a lady on the street had complimented her; she said it had really cheered her up and made her day.

I had a compliment in TK maxx I remember, had found a designer dress for some stupid price like £15 and went to try it on
It fitted perfectly so I came out to show my friend, and a woman said "if you don't buy that, I'm paying for it as that was made for you"

Yesterday I told the woman serving me in Starbucks how lovely her eyeshadow was (it was kind of a sheer glittery one) and she seemed really pleased and upgraded my coffee

My 16 year old really struggles with her confidence, typical view that everyone is thinner, prettier, more stylish etc
Last week whilst boarding a train for the first time on her own to travel across London, a young woman, a little older commented to her that she loved the jumper my girl was wearing and how it suited her beautiful hair colouring .
My daughter said it really raised her confidence and helped her cope with the challenge of her journey.

Keep being kind OP and doing what you’re doing x

Oh fgs, first someone says she can't compliment people in case she's culturally offending someone, then another that she gives too many compliments and that's odd, and now you infer she should not be discriminating with her compliments. I seriously despair for society.
It was a lovely thing to say, it sounds like you did brighten her day and she sought you out to thank you.

Don’t frumpy people deserve kindness?

They deserve kindness and respect but not compliments. If you cant be arsed to make the effort why do you deserve compliments? why should I compliment someone wearing scruffy jogging bottoms and a sweatshirt who has made zero effort compared to someone who has thoughtfully put an outfit together?

Perfect response 😂

Bloody hell I've been so polite in my posts on here when actually that what needed posted🤣

I compliment other women. Usually in certain circumstances.
eg a sales assistant in Boots had some very stylish glasses 👓 and a lovely pixie cut which suited her face perfectly.
She was very happy to be complimented on that as she’d been unsure about the style at first .
I’ve complimented a member of staff in a cafe whose long sleeve rode up when she brought our coffee to show the prettiest tattoo on her inner wrist ( I don’t normally like tattoos) we had a quick chat about then significance of the tattoo she had .
I’ve complimented other random women while waiting in a queue on their handbag or item of clothing if I really like it .
I’ve received compliments graciously too on my clothes or a bag .
i don’t get them now 😂

I really agree with everything that both posters have said.

It's all about context as well. If it's somebody you know (as in nurse complimenting hair) then that's very different to complimenting a random person who is walking by. I've been known to say how lovely a colour is on a woman but that woman is standing next to me in the ladies and we've done the ice-break smile. I wouldn't say that to a lady walking by, I'd smile though.

I want to go about my day unobserved and uncommented on when it comes to my appearance. I totally understand that some women appreciate comments from random people. The difficulty is in knowing which of those women is before you. OP herself mentioned a 'bewildered' look from one interaction. It's not always appreciated because we're not a homogenous mass, we're individuals.

It's not about being unfriendly or ungracious, it's about boundaries. As per the title of the thread, you never know what people are going through - well that door swings both ways.

The usual snarky comments are standard fare here. Some posters can't tolerate different views from their own narrow-minded ones which they consider 'normal' and anything else is 'wrong'.

Your story is why I LOVE to give people compliments. Men and women, if they’re rocking something especially if it’s an outfit that stands out and takes confidence to wear and looks great then I’m going to tell them. It’s like a magnet, I have to tell them.
You just never know what that individual is thinking about/going through and your positive input could literally be life changing/saving.I’m glad you’re still here @Youthiswastedontheyoung 🫶🏻