Daugher not happy with gift we gave her

[jouxlake]

We bought our daughter an expensive jewellery gift for her birthday, she chose it, it was plus GBP1,000. She chose it, she apparently loved it, tonight she messaged me and said 'I don't like it, can we return it'. which I know is not an option. Turns out her boyfriend said he didn't like it, prefers the next up design which is double the price. I am livid at how impressionable she is, livid at him for undermining a gift from her parents. But overall, I am fucking so upset and really gutted that she had no appreciation for what gifted her.

I'd be spending a grand on therapy for her rather then jewellery. She's not behaving in a healthy way.

20, going on 12.

Tell her her boyfriend can buy his own double the price jewellery then, why can’t it
be returned/exchanged, unless you can use it and she gets nothing?

Is she usually so ungrateful?

That's unfair without knowing the details. Something isn't right but the cause isn't clear.

Take it back.

Then say nothing absolutely nothing. Do not order anything else.

Very hurtful and worrying

Surely if BF likes the more expensive one then he can buy it for her?

I'd tell her she can return the jewellery to you but she won't be getting a replacement present.

While the BF might be a negative influence these things rarely come from nowhere, is she used to getting expensive gifts from you? Has she behaved like this before?

This.

Take the boyfriend back and exchange him.__

If she doesn't like it / doesn't want it then maybe suggest she sells it? She can then put the money towards the version she now wants, but she / her boyfriend will have to make up the difference obviously, because you've been generous enough already.

You might find she likes it after all depending on the resale value and the amount she'd have to raise for the new version.

You can't do much right now but pray they break up. I'd be tempted to ask her why her own judgement isn't enough for her? Maybe take the jewellery for safekeeping so that charmer with the penis can't sell it. I'd also start nudging her towards some kind of talking therapy, might take a while so you're as well starting now.

Are you certain it can't be returned? If so, tell her she's welcome to try and sell it (for a fraction of the cost) and leave it at that. I understand you feel hurt as you have bought what she said she wanted at considerable cost.

That's bloody rotten of her, and even worse of the boyfriend. If he thinks she deserves a piece of jewellery costing twice as much, that's for him to splash out on.

I imagine an honest conversation with her will reset her thoughts on things. Good luck, I do feel for you.

I don’t follow. What have you inferred about the OP as a mother from her post? I didn’t pick up anything untoward.

I hate anyone especially a man tell me what is nice or not.
Fook right off.
I will.make my own choices in my life and don't want opinions either.
Fook off fook off fook off.

At 20 that stings.
Ask for her to give it back to you, keep it safe for the future. In the mean time give her nothing.
”give it to me and I’ll see what can be done” don’t mention it for 5+ years and store it at the bank.

£1k on a bracelet for a 20 yo - has she always been overindulged in this way?

The way she has behaved I would take it back and she can go to Argos and get herself something 😡she sounds very ungrateful and incredibly rude.

I would be furious with her bf too - thoughtless git

I totally get your disappointment and frustration- she's properly pissed on your chips here - ruined something that should have been special.
I think she needs to know how upset you are and how shitty it is she's changed her mind when you chose it together

She sounds quite immature and impressionable, so needs some help with sticking to her guns and some realisation she's not the centre of the universe

Maybe ask for it back and see if you can sell it
Let her bf buy the next design up for the ungrateful madam

If she doesn't like it she can sell it and buy what she likes with what she makes but I wouldn't be upgrading a gift she should be grateful to get at all. £1000 man!

This

This is exactly what I told her and said she can give it to me, it would be the most expensive necklace I have ever owned..

I think she said it the minute he told her and probably regrets it now.

He is very into designer labels.