Daugher not happy with gift we gave her

[jouxlake]

We bought our daughter an expensive jewellery gift for her birthday, she chose it, it was plus GBP1,000. She chose it, she apparently loved it, tonight she messaged me and said 'I don't like it, can we return it'. which I know is not an option. Turns out her boyfriend said he didn't like it, prefers the next up design which is double the price. I am livid at how impressionable she is, livid at him for undermining a gift from her parents. But overall, I am fucking so upset and really gutted that she had no appreciation for what gifted her.

Tell her it's fine for people to like different things. She shouldn't go changing her taste to suit him.
BF needs to go get her the one he thinks is nicer then doesn't he.

I never thought my daughter would be an impressionable 20 year old twat.

Hm. Is the boyfriend planning on pawning it and getting the money or something? Have they been together long?

She's still baking. There's time.

I was an utter twat at 20. I'm a delight now

I agree you should let her know how rude and ungrateful her behaviour is. Just calmly explain she can't return it for a refund but she can give it back to you if she's changed her mind but she should be aware that she's hurt your feelings and that it's not OK to ask for an expensive gift and then change your mind.
I also think the boyfriend sounds like a red flag.

You are right to be mad. A lot of 20 year olds are still quite ungrateful entitled sods though. She’ll think back to this necklace in 10 years and she’ll be mortified at herself.

Love this.

I think she will realise soon enough.

I assume it’s a watch. Some men are very odd about watches.

be clear after this rudeness you will never buy her another watch. She has to pay for her own if she doesn’t like the one she’s got, if she really won’t wear it, say you’ll have it back. Do not replace it.

time for a life lesson.

They have been together 4 years, so we have known him a long time, he is a nice guy, however I have always noted his 'love' for designer labels, once he came with us when my daughter was buying a coat and he kept saying lets go to Maxmara, and my daughter was saying Zara is fine. Clearly when it comes to jewellery she is not so discerning.

I am really gutted, she is in her room and hasn't come out, I think she now realises how badly her reaction to her boyfriend's comment looks.

I am liviid, but also really upset about it.

Let her sit in her discomfort for a while. It's a learning experience we all need to go through.

focus on "impressionable"
regardless of how heavy a lean she is on rest of descriptors today
Insist she keeps it and every time wears it its a little reminder for her and him to be humble and gracious. even when spoiled

I would take it back and keep it. Never mention it again. 20 is too old to say something like that.

I love this 💖 🤣

Very very true!!!

Sorry OP, that's rubbish - hopefully she'll realise how out of order she is xx

A thousand pounds on a birthday present???

Presumably she still loves the necklace but the bloke has taken the shine off it for her. Tell her to use this experience as a lesson. She needs to be less impressionable and be authentic to her own tastes.

I know !!

It is her 20th, a big deal, something special to have for the rest of her life as a gift on a milestone birthday from her parents. So special, what a fucking lead balloon !

I thought 21 was the big milestone birthday??
I'd be taking it back off of her, giving her time to think.. and regifting it on her 21st!

Does the bf treat her to designer label gifts?

Absolutely this.

That’s what I spent on my first car! Not judging you for spending that amount OP but she’s obviously not aware of how lucky she is to receive a present of that value

I’d tell her I’m selling it and donating the money to a food bank

hope you’re ok though, I completely get why this would upset you

Just tell her if she doesn’t want it fine, but she isn’t getting anything else as it can’t be returned and she chose it! Also tell her to stop being ungrateful or she won’t be getting anything in the future. 🤷🏻‍♀️

They are both students, it's mad ! although he did buy her some designer trainers for last Christmas.

I wouldn’t be surprised it he wants it to be sold/ returned / replaced… So he can spend the money on himself (designer clothes, drugs etc). Be on your guard with him.

20 is not a milestone birthday and nobody needs £1000 spent on their birthday. Sell it on and do not replace it with anything else.

Isn't 21 the milestone, not 20?