Daugher not happy with gift we gave her

[jouxlake]

We bought our daughter an expensive jewellery gift for her birthday, she chose it, it was plus GBP1,000. She chose it, she apparently loved it, tonight she messaged me and said 'I don't like it, can we return it'. which I know is not an option. Turns out her boyfriend said he didn't like it, prefers the next up design which is double the price. I am livid at how impressionable she is, livid at him for undermining a gift from her parents. But overall, I am fucking so upset and really gutted that she had no appreciation for what gifted her.

Glad it’s all sorted! Presume it was something iconic like a Tiffany necklace?!

We did ‘special’ jewellery for 21st birthdays-I think it’s a nice thing to do :)

A few messages deleted, would love to see those responses 😂

U know the answer a small token gift from now on, and hopefully she’ll wise up to her partners behaviour.

At absolutely no point does it sound like OP is revelling in her daughter’s unhappiness. Her reaction is 100% normal. Your implication is that daughter can accept then reject very expensive gifts at will and then expect mum to smile brightly as if this is ok? Your response is…odd. Surely part of a parent’s job is to teach responsibility/gratitude/repercussions to their actions?

I'm hurt for you - how incredibly ungrateful, but it sounds like she's been heavily influenced by the shallow boyfriend. I agree with the others there - he needs to go!!

If she mentions it again - I would take the item of jewellery off her for safe keeping. I wouldn't offer to replace it, or offer anything else. I would make it clear to her that such ungratefulness isn't rewarded.

Here's hoping she wakes up to herself, ditches the boyfriend, and learns to appreciate life more and material objects less!

I certainly wouldn't be buying her expensive gifts again!

What's "special" about a 20th birthday?

What's special about a 21st?

Different cultures have different customs, including milestone birthdays.

The cheek of both of them! I'd still be pissed off even after the apology. I wouldn't buy a nice gift like that again.

Hi. We adored our daughter's first boyfriend. He came on holiday with us, we were friends with his mother and sister, thought we knew him really well. They had been going out for 3 years plus when it all fell apart. She reported him to the police for coercive control- they were both 19. He responded by stalking her for the next year to the point he was taken to court on a stalking charge. I honestly thought he was going to kill her.

Anyway, I just mention this because we had zero idea what was going on. Be cautious.

Similar here.
DD got together with her BF when they were 15. We were really grateful how he helped her anxiety and was so supportive to her MH issues.
Became friends with his parents, holidays together etc etc.
Turns out he was coercive, controlling and even hit her a couple of times.
Thankfully she broke up with him when they were 18 but the Narcissistic rage was something to behold!

Sorry to hear that. They hide in plain sight! Our daughter had lots of additional needs too and we thought itcwas amazing how well he helped her. We had no idea.

Yep, what we saw as support was control.
She has a lovely BF now and has grown so much since dumping him, he did NOT go easily though
I hope your DD is doing well too

Thanks yes she moved in with her really lovely boyfriend in the summer.

If it was up to my DS it would be all 3 🤣🤣

I posted on here before about milestone birthday being different in other cultures. I talked with Native American friend of mine as to her tribes milestones. Age 5, leaving infancy, age 13 leaving childhood, age 20 beginning adulthood.

But her view she said turning 20 means getting rid of the "terrible teens". I think that's the one we can all relate.