Not invited to stepdaughter's wedding

[Chewitally]

I've been with her Dad for over ten years. Her mum's partner is invited.

We don't have a good relationship for reasons irrelevant to this but I never thought she would stoop so low as to not invite me to her wedding.

Sounds as though maybe the reasons might indeed be relevant to this...

Sucks though.

Why would she invite someone she doesn't have good relations with? She'll want the day to be a happy one with photos of people she likes.

If you don't have a good relationship with her, then maybe she feels she won't be able to enjoy the day if you are there? I wouldn't want someone at my wedding with whom I had an unhappy relationship. It would make me anxious and spoil the occasion. I think if you want her to include you in her life events, you need to think about how the relationship might be improved.

If you don’t get on would you want to go?

Why would she invite someone she doesn't get on with? You would be on edge anyway.

Because I should be there as her dads partner

Her mums partner is going

Do you actually want to go? What does her father say?

I agree with @Onlyonekenobe, the reasons are relevant. So relevant that she doesnt want you at her wedding.

She obviously gets on with her mum's partner.

She doesn't get on with you. So why would she invite you?

What reason would be a justification for having her stepdad there but not me

Perhaps she likes her mum's partner?

Why would she invite you?

What's the backstory?

Because she likes him and gets on with him?

Why do you see it as her ‘stooping low’ instead of just not having someone she dislikes at her wedding?

Who says you should be there as dads partner? It’s her wedding, she makes the rules.

You might not see the reasons as relevant, but I'd be ready to bet good money that everyone else thinks they are.

If you being there would spoil the day for her - and it really doesn't sound like you just want to see her happy - then she's quite right to not invite you. Wedding invitations are earned.

The Reason or reasons are completely integral to this!!!

the fact that you think you should be invited on principle is very telling.

They get on and she wants him there to witness her getting married?

You don't get an automatic invitation for being her dad's partner. For all anyone knows, you could (COULD, before you jump down my throat) be abusive towards her. By your logic, she should still invite you to her wedding because you're with her dad.

Nobody "should" be at a wedding if the B&G actively don't want them there 🤷🏻‍♀️ in fact plenty of people don't invite their own parents if they have a poor relationship and make each other unhappy. Your attitude is a bit weird tbh - you're more concerned about the fact you're not invited "as her dad's partner" than you are about the fact that your relationship with her is so bad that she doesn't want you there.

Because I should be there as her dads partner
She doesn't like you and you don't get on.

Her mums partner is going
She likes him and they get on.

What does your partner have to say about it?

The reasons for the poor relationship probably are relevant. Because if they aren’t, she would have invited you.

It's her wedding. She can invite who she wants. Your bizarre insistence you should have had an invitation is probably one of the reasons you do not get on.

Well I'm with you on this OP. Unless she thinks you are actually going to kick off in some way at the wedding and actively spoil the wedding then , as her DF's partner she should have invited you.
It seems like a really vindictive unnecessary swipe . Unless there is some back story to this.

Maybe for you to be there would upset her Mum. Maybe she doesn't want to keep one eye on those dynamics on her wedding day. Maybe it's not about you, or even the relationship between the two of you.

In these circumstances, I think you need to just be gracious and follow her wishes, not create an issue. Besides, is she actually your stepdaughter of you've been in the picture ten years? Did you parent her? Are you married to her Dad? If not she is your partner's daughter.