Not invited to stepdaughter's wedding

[Chewitally]

I've been with her Dad for over ten years. Her mum's partner is invited.

We don't have a good relationship for reasons irrelevant to this but I never thought she would stoop so low as to not invite me to her wedding.

Because as you just said yourself, you don't get on. If she gets on with her stepdad, she's going to want him there.
I'm almost certain those reasons you say are irrelevant are in fact extremely relevant.

We don't have a good relationship...

I wouldn't invite someone to my wedding who I don't have a relationship with. 🤷‍♀️. Honestly you are being very unreasonable.

Your relationship with her father is irrelevant, it ain't his wedding.

Are you friends with her mum still?

Why don't you marry her dad and not invite her out of retaliation? That sounds like the sort of life you want to lead.

Because he was her father before you were his partner.

I hope her nice stepdad walks her down the aisle and they all have a fab day.

Pfft. It's not a biblical census requiring your attendance - it's a glorified party.

Why would she want you there, with a face on your face?!

I don't even know you but from your tone and words I already don't like you. If this is the way you speak to your DIL, then no wonder she doesn't want you there, you sound like a drama queen who always want's to be the centre of attention. As for you husband, he's a miserable excuse for a father if he doesn't attend. I believe in supporting partners/husbands but not to the extent of ruining relationships with children.

Not childish, insightful.

There was ten years to build a foundation 🤷‍♀️

If this was her aunt and she didn’t like her uncle people would say she couldn’t just invite one and not the other because it was rude. People say on here all the time even if you don’t know the other party, you don’t invite one half of a married couple to a wedding and exclude their spouse. But because you’re a step parent you’ll be wrong no matter what you say on here.

Because it's his daughter and she's more important? If he doesn't go, he's a shitty father. The fact you think he shouldn't go makes it quite clear why she doesn't want you there. Way to make someone else's wedding about you!

You clearly hate the girl, so not sure why you want to go at all (other than for malicious reasons against her or her mum). NEVER ask your partner to choose between you and his own child. That is vindictive and cruel!

you are absolutely fine being the person to drive a wedge between your partner and his daughter? I’m presuming he actually loves her. You’d be absolutely fine when he’s upset that she doesn’t call or message, won’t let him see grandkids etc all because you didn’t receive a sodding invite so you could sit and glower the entire day?

swallow your pride, remind him that if he doesn’t go to his daughters wedding she will never forgive him and that you’ll still be there when he gets back.

Hmm

Oh dear the mask is slipping hopefully her father grows some balls and goes to his daughter's wedding.

Good on your partner for sticking by you many men would have sherked this.

But you should be the bigger person and give him your blessing to go.

This won't end well if he stays away and she goes NC.

She quite rightly will be prioritising her mother’s feelings at the wedding. She won’t want the drama of her mum being stressed/upset.

Again another MN thread where virtually every poster gets stuck into the OP in a really nasty way.

The fact that you think it's acceptable for her father not to attend her wedding because you are hurt about not getting an invite feels very telling. As a step mother to three DSC I would of course be devastated if they didn't invite me to their wedding (hopefully won't happen as we have good relationships.). But it would never stop their father attending the wedding, I'd think a lot less of him if he wouldn't go to his own daughters wedding. I would also be looking at myself and thinking what it was I needed to change to try and improve our relationship moving forward.

My step dad was invited to my wedding and my step mum wasn’t. I don’t like her. Don’t really see the issue tbh!

I think the fact she's an ex friend of the mum's is more of an issue than her being a step parent.

Ultimately it’s her wedding. She can have whomever she wants there. She doesn’t like you, whatever those reasons are, it’s that simple. Sure, she could play politics to keep you all happy, or she can be true to herself on hers and future spouse’s wedding day.
When I got married I saw each person by their cost per head. Some people were not worth the expense of inviting to me personally and that’s how I made my decisions. Maybe that’s brutal, but it was my money.

It's awful that you aren't encouraging your partner to go to his daughter's wedding. OF COURSE he should go without you! Nothing would keep me away from my daughter's wedding. And you have admitted that you don't get on with her so I don't see why you feel entitled to be there. It seems that you are more worried about how it looks to everyone else?

Doesn’t sound like you give a damn about her feelings or opinions. Not surprised she doesn’t want you there.