Police brought son home

FrequentlyAskedQuestion · 31/10/2024 08:48

So they are not arresting him, charging him or Cautioning him?

Sounds as if the police turned the incident into a great learning opportunity, and he can get on with being a great kid without trying weed / hanging around firework louts.

I hope he is OK, and you can support him to support the learning.

Newuser75 · 31/10/2024 08:49

I bet you got a fright!! Did the police say if anything further would happen?

iwentjasonwaterfalls · 31/10/2024 08:51

You must all be in shock. Are they taking any action or just leaving it at some time in handcuffs and bringing him home? The police are probably on higher alert at this time of year because of Halloween and fireworks coming up. It's a shock for him but a good learning opportunity too.

For what it's worth, I was a really good kid who tried weed on school grounds when I was 15 🙈 curiosity got the better of me, I didn't enjoy it. You will have the perfect parent brigade on this thread overreacting and telling you "well he's not a very good kid if he's doing drugs", ignore them.

DreadPirateRobots · 31/10/2024 08:52

You know that "we just bought the weed five minutes ago and for the first time ever!!!!" is a lie, right? As is, probably, the claim that they were nothing to do with the firework?

If the police aren't bringing charges, hopefully it's a shock that will do him some good and nothing more.

pilates · 31/10/2024 08:55

Let’s hope the experience will put him off trying weed again but I would be surprised if it’s the first time.

MinnieCauldwell · 31/10/2024 08:58

DreadPirateRobots · 31/10/2024 08:52

You know that "we just bought the weed five minutes ago and for the first time ever!!!!" is a lie, right? As is, probably, the claim that they were nothing to do with the firework?

If the police aren't bringing charges, hopefully it's a shock that will do him some good and nothing more.

Some big boys did it and ran away
Only bought the weed yesterday to try, for the first time.
Maybe true but at least he has had a short sharp shock. Would keep an eye on who he is hanging out with.

ArchMemory · 31/10/2024 08:59

DreadPirateRobots · 31/10/2024 08:52

You know that "we just bought the weed five minutes ago and for the first time ever!!!!" is a lie, right? As is, probably, the claim that they were nothing to do with the firework?

If the police aren't bringing charges, hopefully it's a shock that will do him some good and nothing more.

Yeah I’m pretty naive as things go but I’d suspect both of these are lies.

If he’s not being charged or anything you need to have a big talk about how lucky he was this time and he might not be next time.

DanceMumTaxi · 31/10/2024 09:00

Well he’s not exactly going to say, yeah been smoking weed for the last 2 years, is he? Also unlikely that he had absolutely no involvement in the firework either. It probably wasn’t him, but he could well have been there. Hopefully this will be the shock he needs to behave better.

anywherehollie · 31/10/2024 09:01

He clearly did the fireworks and it definitely wasn't the first time they bought weed 😂😂😂 come on now

afrikat · 31/10/2024 09:04

I got arrested at 13 for shoplifting and swore it was my very first time doing it and my friends talked me into it. My mum believed me. In reality I'd been doing it for months and was actually stealing to order for some school friends. Thankfully getting arrested gave me the shock I needed NEVER to do it again but I'd be very wary of his 'it was my first time honest' approach

itsgettingweird · 31/10/2024 09:07

I'd be watching the weed.

It's very common for people with adhd to use weed etc to self medicate because they realise they can focus better on it.

You don't want him to start going down the route of self medicating with the wrong stuff.

InformerYaNoSayDaddyMeSnowMeIGoBlameALickyBoom · 31/10/2024 09:08

Well that was a series of very unfortunate events for your son.

Happened to be beside some bad boys who set off fireworks, ran away and got caught and searched and they found weed which he happened to buy the night before for the very first time ever.

17 is a funny age because they go and start this grown up stuff, but we still see them as our babies.

In this instance I would be taking the blinkers off and having a real look at his behaviour as a whole. I'll bet there's been more problematic stuff you've put down to his ADHD and autism, when it's probably just teen behaviour.

I hope you're OK after such a shock.

Original poster

Purplehydra · 31/10/2024 09:49

We we’re both in shock I think, so didn’t ask enough questions. A caution I think, but then they said it’ll probably be ok and he’d just have to do an online course?
we’ve had lots of chats about drugs. His friends have been his friends through high school. They are all scared now in case I tell their parents
no other behavioural problems, got through his GCSEs with good grades. We still spend lots of time together, it’s just me and him, loves spending time with the family, he's not stuck in his room.

OP posts:

Asparename · 31/10/2024 09:58

There are implications to accepting a caution, your son would have a criminal record that might prevent him doing things in the future. It’s worth reading up about it and the implications of not accepting it and whether they will bother to take any further action.
A link from googling here https://unlock.org.uk/advice/implications-accepting-police-caution/

Implications of accepting a police caution - Unlock

Aim of this page This page sets out the implications that a caution can have in the future, particularly if […]

https://unlock.org.uk/advice/implications-accepting-police-caution

Original poster

Purplehydra · 31/10/2024 10:11

so, hasn’t ruined his life at all then
ffs

OP posts:

coffeesaveslives · 31/10/2024 10:13

You're being incredibly daft if you really believe he only bought weed for the first time yesterday and that he just happened to be near where this firework went off when he managed to get himself caught by the police 🙈

WillowtreeHouse · 31/10/2024 10:15

I think you're being a bit naive OP. However, hopefully this will have given him the kick up the arse needed not to muck about with fireworks and the implications of being caught with weed.

Secradonugh · 31/10/2024 10:35

Purplehydra · 31/10/2024 08:45

Feel ill
he was terrified
they got stopped cos they all ran off cos someone let off a firework. It wasn’t him or his friends.
got searched and they found weed. That they had bought the night before for the very first time.
thet handcuffed him
they were very nice
he’s 17
wtf?!!
he’s a really good kid, they just wanted to try it.
hes autistic and has adhd, not sure that’s relevant here

Well done to the police. They've done exactly the right thing. You now need to show him in words how upset you are with him, how it could ruin his life if he got arrested. He's pushing boundaries and the police have nudged him back.

If it were me, I'd have a chat wth your local police station, ask if they would be willing to allow him to come in, and apologise to them for being a bit of a dick. If you set it up before hand, they may well be happy to explain to him the consequences as well. (I did this with one of mine, and it helped them).

Chillilounger · 31/10/2024 10:38

Definitely don't believe the minimising from him. Talk to him about how people will judge him based on his friends. Explain why pissing around with fireworks can ruin lives. What consequences are you putting in place as a result?

Secradonugh · 31/10/2024 10:46

Purplehydra · 31/10/2024 10:11

so, hasn’t ruined his life at all then
ffs

Honestly it hasn't. Suggest reading the following as I believe this is probably what had happened.

https://yjlc.uk/resources/legal-terms-z/youth-caution

Even if his future employer requests and enhanced DBS, it will be shown, BUT that doesn't mean that he can't get the job.
I work with various levels of security, and within our team, we have people who have various convictions (not just cautions) as adults. Obviously some employers may take a dime view on certain cautions and convictions or even being a victim.

harvestdesigns · 31/10/2024 10:56

I thought cautions issued under the age of 18 were spent after 2 years and removed from your criminal record?

ThePoetsWife · 31/10/2024 10:59

Someone let off a firework then other day and an acquaintance's dog freaked out and ran off and was killed by a train. They are devastated.

Hope your son and his friends understand how dangerous fireworks are and the impact these have

Miyagi99 · 31/10/2024 11:24

Secradonugh · 31/10/2024 10:46

Honestly it hasn't. Suggest reading the following as I believe this is probably what had happened.

https://yjlc.uk/resources/legal-terms-z/youth-caution

Even if his future employer requests and enhanced DBS, it will be shown, BUT that doesn't mean that he can't get the job.
I work with various levels of security, and within our team, we have people who have various convictions (not just cautions) as adults. Obviously some employers may take a dime view on certain cautions and convictions or even being a victim.

Edited

Show quote history

Agree, know a lot of people working for the NHS who have been arrested in their youth, declared it at interview stage and still got the job. I’m talking usually drunk and disorderly.

FlatWhiteExtraHot · 31/10/2024 11:24

You seem altogether too casual about it OP. Mine would have got an almighty bollocking if the police had brought him home, 17 or not, and as for the weed and twatting about with fireworks.

Miyagi99 · 31/10/2024 11:25

FlatWhiteExtraHot · 31/10/2024 11:24

You seem altogether too casual about it OP. Mine would have got an almighty bollocking if the police had brought him home, 17 or not, and as for the weed and twatting about with fireworks.

I’d be way more concerned about the firework than the weed tbh, could have killed someone.