Police brought son home

[Purplehydra]

Feel ill
he was terrified
they got stopped cos they all ran off cos someone let off a firework. It wasn’t him or his friends.
got searched and they found weed. That they had bought the night before for the very first time.
thet handcuffed him
they were very nice
he’s 17
wtf?!!
he’s a really good kid, they just wanted to try it.
hes autistic and has adhd, not sure that’s relevant here

Exactly. I don’t see the issue with the actions of the Police and think OP needs to wise up a little.

Dint you think that being arrested by the police is enough of a bollocking for a 17yo?
This teen doesn’t need more bollocking. Guidance yes. Being told off no.

Definitely a teachable moment for him.
Lots of boys with the same conditions have received more severe consequences, some even custodial. Some people are jailed for possession no matter how the amount.

I don't believe he bought his first ever bag of weed and then got pulled by the police. That would just be extreme bad luck.
He should know you don't run from the police. They will take it that you are guilty of something. It's a good lesson learned, and it seems he wasn't cautioned arrested or fined.
And thankfully the firework didn't cause any injuries.
You should tell him about that poor guy, Jean Charles De Menezes, who ran away from the cops and they shot him, suspecting he was a terrorist.
I hope he is OK and he will stay out of trouble from now on. I don't know but it might put him off smoking weed? Or maybe not.

Good grief. Thie posters laying into the OP for not being as streetwise as they are!

Instead of telling her off perhaps you coild be more supportive

@Purplehydra Maybe it was or maybe it wasn't the first time he had weed on him. After all there does have to be a first time. It sounds like he has learned his lesson, but I agree that you need to read up more about county lines and how drug dealers take advantage of people like your son.

I would have been as shocked as you are. I know weed is pretty prevalant among teenagers, but the way some posters speak you would think that every single teenager smokes it, and they don't.

Oh OP please read up on County Lines. Your son is an obvious target for them.

He won't have a clue how much deep shit he'll be getting into and how fucking difficult to get out of if at all.

I struggle to understand how you can have a 17 yo son and NOT be aware of it!

@Purplehydra MN is a weird place.
Like making out that having some weed on you is the end of the word. Dint you realise it’s ILLEGAL drugs whilst telling you (in other threads ofc) that weed is pretty common and not an issue.

Id strongly recommend you get some legal advice about the caution, how to best deal with the situation.
MNtters can say whatever they like, they have no idea if he was actually involved in the fireworks or if he had a lot of weed on him. First time or not. That’s all guess work and assumptions. Not the truth.
In the mean time, your ds needs to get clear in for action on what the next steps are and info in what the police actually has. Incl what they meant about ‘having weed in him’.

Then you can act.
From a legal pov to ensure you take the best decision.
But also on a support pov, incl if he is using weed. And the link with his AuDHD.

Many young men in prison have ADHD and/ or Autism. It's certainly not a get out of jail free card. I thought they don't prosecute possession of a small amount of weed for personal use? If they did, people round here would get caught out every day, and we live In a "nice" area.

Most likely they searched him for further fireworks or a knife, and the weed was an incidental find. Though if a large amount to be shared/ sold, he could have been seen as a potential gang member.

Unlike his mother, he is likely to have been informed of the dangers of county lines at school - I'd hope so anyway.

Country lines is a drug gang, where they basically recruit (bully) children into being traffickers. Usually by putting them on a train. They usually find kids who have already been labelled as "wrongun's". Kids who don't go to school all the time, kids whose parents don't care about them. I have no idea however why that has been brought up in conversation here.

It sounds like you have both had quite a shock, but hopefully its given your son the kind of shock that means he won't get into this situation again. I think as long as you don't minimise it he's probably had enough of a punishment and calls for further sanctions are a bit pointless.

I would recommend reading up about county lines as yes it is something he's more likely to get pulled into with ASD unfortunately, also if you are not aware self medicating with week and addiction issues are also something that can go in hand with ADHD and have a chat with him around that.

I hope he appreciates his privilege.
Many 17 year old are arrested and charged, not brought home to their parents.
Those are the ones whose lives are truly ruined.

If there is talk of an online course then it sounds like he has been offered a community resolution.
This means he won't have a criminal record.
Even if he gets a juvenile caution, that will drop off his record when he turns 18 anyway.
I'd be keeping a close eye on the weed, it destroys young people's mental health.

@Secradonugh because it is not just children who are neglected and wrong 'uns. I mentioned it because OPs son has disabilities that make him vulnerable to being taken advantage of by such gangs. During training at school its always flagged to us that it is not always those that are neglected or left to their own devices but those of all income levels with both disengaged and engaged parents if the child had other vulnerabilities.

County Lines is not a single drug gang, it refers to the movement of drugs across (unsurprisingly) county lines. For my area the hub is London and out to surrounding counties. Manchester, Birmingham and other large cities will also have central hubs for various gangs. Knife carrying and crime is common with those within these gangs and operators to 'protect' the cargo. OPs son may not be involved with them but she and he need to be aware of them and how to stay safe.

Autism and ADHD are conditions that make young people particularly susceptible because those with those conditions aren't always a good judge of who their friends are, if behaviour is appropriate or not, generally not particularly streetwise. Don't always recognize danger and can be impulsive. Some people with both conditions are easily influenced by their peers and therefore at huge risk regardless of what their parents income is or how engaged they are, if they are hanging around outside and particularly if like OPs son they are dabbling with drugs and have access to those selling it.

The police should absolutely not be issuing a caution for this. It’s against their own guidelines for one thing

Sorry but Police will accept people with various cautions. A minor drug offence at 17 will usually not be a problem as long as they are 22 when they apply. However, domestic abuse or fraud and you are very likely to be rejected. Social care, same. As long as the applicant is completely honest. If the appicant lies, or a family member is able to blackmail the applicant, then that's where it becomes very difficult to accept them.

Sorry @Solomotree you're talking through your arse

I would ask him to watch one of the programmes showing how drug use wrecked the life of family etc. Or to go to a talk by one of the many people that speak on this.

My brother was brought home in a similar incident. He was upset and my parents made sure he understood the seriousness of the situation but didn’t go mad because he was being hard enough on himself. He didn’t re-offend and grew into a perfectly responsible man (surgeon, husband,dad of 3). I wouldn’t panic OP! Going crazy at him isn’t going to help.

Make the most of your son's bad behaviour and being caught by searching for further information for your son.

Ask the Police to recommend any nearby courses or seminars on the dangers of fireworks to the environment and people and the effects of drug use to the body.

Make it a learning opportunity.
Also point out that he is likely to have his best life by following the law.
Encourage him to purposefully choose positive recreations.

Find some for him to try.
Environmental volunteering.
Learning new skills - nearby Men's Sheds, bowling, cooking classes, mountain bike riding, bouldering, painting.

He doesn't hate doing the things that disappoint you, he hates you finding out about them You have minimised his part in all of this.

I'd have a really serious talk with him about the implications of having a shite selection of friends, of having friends he feels he can't stand up to and say 'no, not doing that' with ease, friends who may leave him carrying the can for their ideas and actions.

You very much ARE judged by the company you keep, regardless of the rights or wrongs of that. It can colour opinions, reduce or remove opportunities, remove benefit of doubt.

Teenagers absolutely can ruin their lives by trusting the wrong people, being desperate to have friends that they accept what amounts to an abusive relationship with people who manipulate them, egg them on and throw them under a bus (or worse).

He didn’t hurt anyone or steal anything. This is way over the top language in my opinion.

Re county lines there's something on YouTube you can watch Adam's(? I think) Story.

I did not say it would rule out employment. I said it would have implications. Which it does.

I agree. I think @Xyz1234567 has been unnecessarily harsh.