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Original poster

Police brought son home

182 replies

Purplehydra · 31/10/2024 08:45

Feel ill
he was terrified
they got stopped cos they all ran off cos someone let off a firework. It wasn’t him or his friends.
got searched and they found weed. That they had bought the night before for the very first time.
thet handcuffed him
they were very nice
he’s 17
wtf?!!
he’s a really good kid, they just wanted to try it.
hes autistic and has adhd, not sure that’s relevant here

OP posts:
Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 31/10/2024 15:25

DreadPirateRobots · 31/10/2024 08:52

You know that "we just bought the weed five minutes ago and for the first time ever!!!!" is a lie, right? As is, probably, the claim that they were nothing to do with the firework?

If the police aren't bringing charges, hopefully it's a shock that will do him some good and nothing more.

100%
I swear kids think their parents have got the brains of half a bowl of cold porridge.

I told my own parents the same sort of bullshit when I was a teen. Never had a cig before I swear, never had a sip of that beer, wasn't me who the neighbour saw bunking off school...

and when I got older they told me they'd tried the same bollocks on their own parents.

Teenagers. Every generation thinks their parents were just unpacked from boxes when they were born and never lived at all.

OldTinHat · 31/10/2024 15:33

Not at all relevant, but when my nephew was 16, he and a mate got caught by the police 'urban exploring'. Nephew legged it, mate couldn't keep up, but the police could.

Nephew was a good half a mile away when his mate phoned. Except it was the police using his phone and asked my nephew what kind of friend he was, abandoning his mate and leaving him to take the rap. (Mate wouldn't give nephew's name.)

Nephew came back, held his hands up and they were both cautioned for breaking and entering. Both said they'd never done it before.

Oh, they'd been doing it for a couple of years.

Still do it now.

So don't be naive enough to think they'd never had weed before. It wasn't the first time, just the first time they've been caught.

MermaidEyes · 31/10/2024 15:40

I’d be way more concerned about the firework than the weed tbh, could have killed someone.

Yeah this. Weed is only harming him, fireworks are bloody dangerous and could be harming others.. I'm still traumatised by those Bonfire Night adverts back in the 80s.

BigAnne · 31/10/2024 15:41

@Purplehydra what, 17 year old still getting pocket money? Why isn't he working, he's almost an adult.

Miyagi99 · 31/10/2024 15:43

The NHS disagree. Hence prescribing it.

sanityisamyth · 31/10/2024 15:48

DreadPirateRobots · 31/10/2024 08:52

You know that "we just bought the weed five minutes ago and for the first time ever!!!!" is a lie, right? As is, probably, the claim that they were nothing to do with the firework?

If the police aren't bringing charges, hopefully it's a shock that will do him some good and nothing more.

This.

TENSsion · 31/10/2024 15:48

What bad luck. Imagine walking past someone setting off fireworks and getting collared for that the VERY night you buy weed for the first EVER time 🙄

RedToothBrush · 31/10/2024 15:49

First time. Someone else did it. Honest Mum.

Hmm... Not quite sure I'm buying it.

Miyagi99 · 31/10/2024 15:49

Blaggoshpereish · 31/10/2024 15:21

Would OP be crying on MN if she thought it was funny police brought her son home?

Weed is illegal. No one buying it “legally” and not at 17!!! No sure who is giving you advice about the law … your dealer??

So are fireworks under 18.

Maybe you think it’s not a big issue, maybe police seen more kids lose a finger or eye w fireworks.

Believe it or not, some parents don’t want their kids breaking the law. Or enjoy being the other mum on MN got social care visiting her because partner smokes “a bit of weed” & she’s pregnant.

Show quote history

Obviously the OPs son has not bought it legally, I was just pointing out the police won’t do anything about a bit of weed (never have) and are less likely to do so now you can get it legally in the UK. They are more concerned with dealers than users, always have been,

queenMab99 · 31/10/2024 15:50

Please discourage him from smoking weed, my son did this when he was 15/16, people say it is harmless but in him it triggered psychotic episodes and destroyed his mental health. He went to University and graduated with a first, but died at 26 an alcoholic.

FlatWhiteExtraHot · 31/10/2024 15:56

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 31/10/2024 15:25

100%
I swear kids think their parents have got the brains of half a bowl of cold porridge.

I told my own parents the same sort of bullshit when I was a teen. Never had a cig before I swear, never had a sip of that beer, wasn't me who the neighbour saw bunking off school...

and when I got older they told me they'd tried the same bollocks on their own parents.

Teenagers. Every generation thinks their parents were just unpacked from boxes when they were born and never lived at all.

Show quote history

I swear kids think their parents have got the brains of half a bowl of cold porridge.

To be fair though, some do! 😂

Dearme2222222 · 31/10/2024 16:01

You believe that this was the first time your son has tried weed? You do realise that is utter nonsense. Of course it's not the first time. He's trying to wriggle his way out of it.

Lemonadeand · 31/10/2024 16:10

they found weed. That they had bought the night before for the very first time.

It’s always the first time, isn’t it 🙄. Same as when a young person dies after taking an ecstasy tablet. What are the chances?!

Differentstarts · 31/10/2024 16:17

It's good he was terrified it means he will think about his actions a little more in the future not quite sure why you feel ill. It's not like he harmed anyone

Arran2024 · 31/10/2024 16:19

LondonPapa · 31/10/2024 12:30

He has in the short term. No Civil Service career with NSV checks and it may be a barrier in other areas of employment but overall, not really a massive impact.

Show quote history

Doesn't it cause problems getting visas to travel eg USA?

Original poster
Purplehydra · 31/10/2024 16:46

Some points that I am addressing- not defending, just explaining.

no-one was throwing a firework
someone set off a firework and they ran away from it.
they didn’t run away from the police
they ran into the police who said that someone had reported “kids” setting off fireworks.
my son and his mates are all over 6ft so not sure if they fit that description. There were other kids there.
they were searched possibly for fireworks which none of them had, but possibly because of the dispersal order.
all of his mates were let off to go home by themselves, so their parents are unaware of anything.
I have no problem with what the police did, they’ve done a good job, it’s just a shock when you think of your child in handcuffs.
there are reasons that I know that they tried it for the first time the night before, but there’s no point trying to convince you of that.
he doesn’t run with a bad crowd, there’s no-one that’s influencing him. 4 of them wanted to try it together.
I am aware of county lines pressure I just didn’t know that’s what it was called.
Pocket money was a bit of a joke, he did work before his GCSEs and wants another job again.
think this has turned into a bit of a pile on.
You don’t know us, you don’t know our relationship, it’s just been me and him fir 10 years since his dad died. he’s never given me any reason to doubt him, I can track him, he’s always where he says he’ll be.
im not stupid, I’m not naive. My husband was a liar so I’m actually quite suspicious.
he’s busy doing jobs for me now, we’ve done a lot of talking and he’s not defensive he’s very sorry and very tearful.
I still don’t know if it’s a caution, I’m waiting for them to call me back. But the youth offenders team sounds about right.
Im leaving this thread for a bit now. It’s upsetting me more than it’s helping

OP posts:
Original poster
Purplehydra · 31/10/2024 16:49

Differentstarts · 31/10/2024 16:17

It's good he was terrified it means he will think about his actions a little more in the future not quite sure why you feel ill. It's not like he harmed anyone

you can’t imagine being so upset that you feel sick?
the police knocked on my door and asked me was x my son?
my child was scared, in trouble with the police.

OP posts:
Original poster
Purplehydra · 31/10/2024 16:50

Last time the police knocked on my door it was to tell me that my husband was dead, so I guess things could be a lot worse

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 31/10/2024 16:52

I wish posters would stop mocking the OP for not being as worldly wise and cynical as they are.

She posted here for support and all she gets is a barrage of insults.

There is also the tiny possibility it was the first time they bought weed.

Differentstarts · 31/10/2024 17:14

Purplehydra · 31/10/2024 16:49

you can’t imagine being so upset that you feel sick?
the police knocked on my door and asked me was x my son?
my child was scared, in trouble with the police.

Show quote history

Yeah I can imagine that but I'd save it for actual problems. He's a kid Yes he fucked up but he feels bad and it's a good lesson learnt. I'd be more upset if he had harmed someone

EarthlyNightshade · 31/10/2024 17:19

Purplehydra · 31/10/2024 16:46

Some points that I am addressing- not defending, just explaining.

no-one was throwing a firework
someone set off a firework and they ran away from it.
they didn’t run away from the police
they ran into the police who said that someone had reported “kids” setting off fireworks.
my son and his mates are all over 6ft so not sure if they fit that description. There were other kids there.
they were searched possibly for fireworks which none of them had, but possibly because of the dispersal order.
all of his mates were let off to go home by themselves, so their parents are unaware of anything.
I have no problem with what the police did, they’ve done a good job, it’s just a shock when you think of your child in handcuffs.
there are reasons that I know that they tried it for the first time the night before, but there’s no point trying to convince you of that.
he doesn’t run with a bad crowd, there’s no-one that’s influencing him. 4 of them wanted to try it together.
I am aware of county lines pressure I just didn’t know that’s what it was called.
Pocket money was a bit of a joke, he did work before his GCSEs and wants another job again.
think this has turned into a bit of a pile on.
You don’t know us, you don’t know our relationship, it’s just been me and him fir 10 years since his dad died. he’s never given me any reason to doubt him, I can track him, he’s always where he says he’ll be.
im not stupid, I’m not naive. My husband was a liar so I’m actually quite suspicious.
he’s busy doing jobs for me now, we’ve done a lot of talking and he’s not defensive he’s very sorry and very tearful.
I still don’t know if it’s a caution, I’m waiting for them to call me back. But the youth offenders team sounds about right.
Im leaving this thread for a bit now. It’s upsetting me more than it’s helping

It sounds like you have done all the right things.

Mumsnet is not somewhere I would post with a problem, although you might have got more/better support in the teenager section.

ThePoetsWife · 31/10/2024 17:55

You have a teen and don't know what county lines are?

I would educate myself - your DC is particularly vulnerable with his disabilities

OhDearMuriel · 31/10/2024 18:15

See it as a huge blessing in disguise.

Weed is EVERYWHERE, and I believe it can potentially have much worse long-term effects on neurodiverse teenage boys.

mathanxiety · 31/10/2024 19:09

Purplehydra · 31/10/2024 09:49

We we’re both in shock I think, so didn’t ask enough questions. A caution I think, but then they said it’ll probably be ok and he’d just have to do an online course?
we’ve had lots of chats about drugs. His friends have been his friends through high school. They are all scared now in case I tell their parents
no other behavioural problems, got through his GCSEs with good grades. We still spend lots of time together, it’s just me and him, loves spending time with the family, he's not stuck in his room.

You need to tell the parents.

mathanxiety · 31/10/2024 19:19

Secradonugh · 31/10/2024 13:06

Country lines is a drug gang, where they basically recruit (bully) children into being traffickers. Usually by putting them on a train. They usually find kids who have already been labelled as "wrongun's". Kids who don't go to school all the time, kids whose parents don't care about them. I have no idea however why that has been brought up in conversation here.

Show quote history

You need to do a little more research on what 'county lines' are and how these gangs operate.

The OP's son is a prime target for gangs. That is why the subject has been brought up here.

County lines refers to the type of operation - recruiting vulnerable, easy targets to run drugs that are advertised in various ways via SM. Kids can get roped in via flattery, debt bondage, blackmail, and through the influence of friends. They are kept working for the gangs by means of threats, punishments, and rewards.