‘Well yes we have incredible pensions and are very wealthy but we worked hard’….aaargh

[ChefsKisser]

My parents are very wealthy- they were Doctors at the time when their pensions were amazing (my dads is triple my salary…), they retired pre 65 and have an incredible life. Holidays all the time, inherited a holiday home from the grandparents so have free trips there, basically a lovely lovely life. I don’t begrudge them this at all but it’s frustrating when they talk about it (and they bring it up not me!!) and always end with ‘but we worked so hard’. I work so hard. So so hard I have two small kids, 2 jobs. I’m a healthcare professional in the NHS and my predicted yearly pension is £17k and I’m a good banding!
Sometimes I feel they have this amazing life that I could never ever emulate now and am seen as less deserving as, if I just worked harder, somehow I’d have the old style pension, a smaller mortgage, I don’t know! Life is different now and I’ve accepted that we will never be that well off but it grates.
I don’t want it to be a boomer bashing thread as I know it’s not everyone, some of our friends are very wealthy and my parents have been incredibly generous at times eg lent us money to fix our roof. I guess I’m just completely and utterly envious of their lovely lives! Anyone want to join me 🤣

So you don't like people who don't believe what you do. OK. I'm going to be ageist now- you sound like a spoilt teenager.

Some older people hold the younger in distain
For balance
Sone younger people old the older in distain

I would just like the people on the latter group to acknowledge this

@D20 that's exactly right- it's a big mix- I don't have an issue with many older people 'doing ok' at all- I do have an issue though when many have zero empathy or understanding for others , especially younger people not being able to have similar - despite good jobs - the housing is one aspect and is very area dependent - I went back to my hometown of Mansfield this week to see my son and they have a lovely 'done up' 3 bed semi , similar to what I had with my ex H bought for around £195k 2 years ago - they are on very average earnings too. So it's not always housing that's an issue-- Other aspects though are things like very few contributory pensions out there these days, student loans being paid for very many years. Overtime being expected and not always paid for either - a lot of job insecurity in many sectors, paying private dental because NHS is hard to find or get. Huge nursery fees because fewer family to rely on locally or grandparents are working or don't feel obliged to do childcare ( understandable). There are many reasons it's bloody tough for people these days, especially with young families.

I think many of us, even with reasonable pensions, are secretly annoyed about the platinum plated pensions GPs get, yes they studied hard and long and probably worked hard too but as you say , the pensions are more than most earn

Ok boomer.

I hate this patronizing “well, if you work hard - you can do the same!” don’t most people work hard?

Lots of pictures in the attic on this thread, I think.

Oh God I wasn't going to read this thread - but here I am - I'm a boomer, will be retiring in a few months and no I definitely don't have a gold plated final salary pension - a pittance of a private one and the state pension and some savings (which I have worked bloody hard for 50 years to accumulate - 2 jobs during the 80s in the 15% mortgage rate time) - but younger people seem to lump us all together - my own kids included. I completely acknowledge that it is so very very hard for my kids generation - and I have helped them all financially as much as I can, and wish I could have done more. FWIW I won't be entitled to the WFA and am happy with that - I just wish they would take the money that it saves the govt and pass it on to the young families that need it - ha - AS IF

Cmom @Fabbygranny only two jobs? Don't you know young people these days are doing at least five?
As for helping your kids financially, well they didn't ask to be born, did they?

I am going to look up donkey sanctuaries.

Indeed. I think people in lower paid manual jobs work much harder than me, in fact.

Could you say every time they bring it up ‘yes I’m looking forward to my inheritance’.
Might shut them up.

Presumably you've benefited too though OP. With a privileged upbringing and probable future inheritance?

What about people without well off parents?

My parents rented all their lives and died without a pot to piss in. Thank your lucky starts you grew up in such a well to do household and will probably inherit a large sum.

Thing being 2 Doctors now would earn a very good wage.Along with a good pension to come! They will have had a very stressful job between them ,No doubt having to pay for childcare (No default SAHM picking up the slack) private education a car each).Many pensioners are poor or managing OK but wont have the benefits a professional gets .Everyone works hard in different ways .

Won't you unherit their lovely fortune?

@ChefsKisser I hear you. Times have changed and hard work doesn't get you nearly as far these days. Our generation will not be as well off as pensioners than our parents, and our children will not be as well of as us. Generational wealth has broken down because of the cost of housing. I find the same with my parents, it's a lack of awareness that can be staggering. They are better off in retirement than we are currently as two working adults also having to pay mortgage and childcare commitments. Once we hit retirement age we will be much worse off than now. But still they complain 😱

If you are really lucky op, they might pop their clogs any day now and you'll be rolling in it. In it to win it 🤞🏼

The top of band 7 is £52k. Even if you have only joined the NHS this year and never go further than where you are now, if you stay until retirement your pension will be much more than £17k..! Do you understand how CARE pensions work and your accrual rate?

It’s almost a case of no good deed goes unpunished isn’t it? Perhaps OP would prefer her parents not to have become doctors and accumulated a good amount of inheritance.

On another thread, a poster is moaning that her friend worked hard at school and uni and now has a great, well-paid career. No shit, Sherlock!

Pretty fed up of the pointless envy of people who had more smarts than you. No wonder educated professionals, especially doctors, are all leaving. Race to the bottom. And there will be no one to pay taxes that pay for the hard working binmen and posties.🙄

I rest my case.

Depending on where they live and their historical housing purchases, the answer to 'we worked hard' might be 'perhaps but your house worked harder'.

FWIW, I once tried to have a non-confrontational conversation with an elderly family member who had just criticised a 'youth of today at the checkout, spending money on mobile phones, ready meals, avocados and coffees. They could afford housing if they only tightened their belts and learned how to cook. We had to cope with interest rates of 15% and no one helped us. We just tightened our belts... (heavily paraphrased).

I asked about historical salaries relative to house prices of the houses they boughtand what might be a better situation to be in, having a mortgage for a lower sum at higher interest rates that was historically just about affordable on one salary or a mortgage at a lower interest rate for a much, much higher principle paid for on much lower relative salaries (again, heavily paraphrased). I also knew about some of the inheritances they'd received but didn't mention those in response to the 'no one helped us'.

It was one of the most extreme real life cognitive dissonance events I've ever seen in a conversation that just led to continually repeated 'We had to cope with higher interest rates, no one helped us, we just tightened our belts'.

Over time, I realised more and more of the conversations became like an arguably ageist US Saturday Night Live sketch I saw on Youtube where everything they heard in a conversation they didn't like or agree with (even when objective facts) were responded to with 'I don't know about that'.

We had to cope with higher interest rates, no one helped us, we just tightened our belts'.

Everyone forgets about MIRAS