‘Well yes we have incredible pensions and are very wealthy but we worked hard’….aaargh

[ChefsKisser]

My parents are very wealthy- they were Doctors at the time when their pensions were amazing (my dads is triple my salary…), they retired pre 65 and have an incredible life. Holidays all the time, inherited a holiday home from the grandparents so have free trips there, basically a lovely lovely life. I don’t begrudge them this at all but it’s frustrating when they talk about it (and they bring it up not me!!) and always end with ‘but we worked so hard’. I work so hard. So so hard I have two small kids, 2 jobs. I’m a healthcare professional in the NHS and my predicted yearly pension is £17k and I’m a good banding!
Sometimes I feel they have this amazing life that I could never ever emulate now and am seen as less deserving as, if I just worked harder, somehow I’d have the old style pension, a smaller mortgage, I don’t know! Life is different now and I’ve accepted that we will never be that well off but it grates.
I don’t want it to be a boomer bashing thread as I know it’s not everyone, some of our friends are very wealthy and my parents have been incredibly generous at times eg lent us money to fix our roof. I guess I’m just completely and utterly envious of their lovely lives! Anyone want to join me 🤣

Honestly my parents would occasionally say to me “you’ll be able to do such and such in the future, or have such and such with the inheritance”. And my thoughts would always be “I can’t even think about it because you’ll be dead”.

This is all based of your experiences. My mum worked and decided to give up work when she got married even though she could continue to work. She chose to give up her job. My parents pension is more than my salary, I can’t afford to give up work with house prices and cost of living though we are a two salary household. I have so many privileges being able to work from home and flexible working / technology. I never once complained about my life in post, so you have made a lot of assumptions there.

I never said they didn’t have it hard. But what I did say was hearing my parents moan constantly about how hard they had it while they retired at 55 on a massive pension sat in their 500k house which they paid 50k for is as just as “disgraceful” as you as you say.

What I did say is my parents in law were in a similar situation to my parents and they appreciate and acknowledge that some things were harder and some things were easier instead of moaning all the time how hard they had it.

Hearing people moan about how hard their life was constantly gets a bit grinding without appreciating the good things. That goes for all generations.

@Icantbuystrawberries yep I agree- but what grates me more actually is many women who did very minimal part time for years and years and in some cases didn't work at all , even with adult children playing the 'we' worked hard card. No you didn't- your H did - and if people say about more housework etc or caring for elderly parents many of todays middle aged people ( mainly women too) are doing all that and often a full time job too - or as near as.

I guess that depends on whether you class child rearing as work.

It also depends on whether you want to work. Personally I would have hated to be born in the days when women couldn't work, couldn't get a mortgage, had to break through a glass ceiling, were sexually harassed, no flexible working....

It's not envy to be tired of some boomers booming about how hard they worked and how much they deserve everything when their having so much and taking so much of the pie now means younger people have less, they have been extremely fortunate and don't acknowledge how lucky they have been, they use up a hell of a lot of NHS resources, and think they are just a superior generation.

Well OPs parents are giving her money right now and will also give her a substantial inheritance, so she will have a large slice of pie.
Perhaps they will die soon so they don't use the NHS resources they contributed to and built.

@Blanketyre indeed- and todays middle aged are doing that too - as well as work in most cases

My parents were similar but they recognised their good fortune and helped us out a lot. We were very grateful.

They also had the good grace to both die before the inheritance was eaten up by care home fees. Just wish for the same

Perhaps all the other people who use up NHS resources- the very obese, smokers, drinkers, addicts- should also acknowledge how lucky they are. Or is it just old people who should constantly apologise for existing?

Older people use it far more than any of the other groups. And are also drinkers, smokers and obese themselves.

It's not about being asked to apologise for existence, it's more that a higher proportion of them than other age groups are right wing, and I hear them yack on openly about paying for immigrants and single mothers when they don't realise how much state resources their own age group take up.

It's more about being aware of actual facts and not just parroting the Daily Mail.

Where do you hear all this 'yakking'and 'parroting'?

I work for three charities and the volunteers are 90% retired. And i would say middle class retirees as well. They are all hard working, community focused, playing an essential and important unpaid role and in all the gallons of tea and biscuits I've had with them I've never hear one quote the daily mail.

I think some of these posts are written by people who have learnt all they know about old people from carping mumsnet threads.

Some serious stereotyping going on here…

@Julen7 Go away and look up voting records by age group in the UK.

And you go and look at what age group has the highest rates of drinking, smoking and obesity. Not the over 65s I think you’ll find.

Ageism, the last bigotry still acceptable
And I am not a boomer.

Each generation has its own challenges. My mum and dad bought a beautiful house for very little and benefitted enormously from the rise in value. My dad was also able to retire early on a very decent pension. It would be easy to look at them with envy.

But they also faced relative poverty as children. Mortgage interest rates in double figures and all of the anxiety that went along with that. No subsidised childcare and the social expectation that women should stay at home, leaving my mum without a career and pension of her own. And various other issues.

As doctors, I bet your parents did work bloody hard. I'm guessing that might be why they discouraged you from going down that particular pathway. It wasn't all handed to them on a plate.

People get fatter as they get older, it's certainly not the youngest age groups.

These are the stats on those being admitted to hospital.

https://digital.nhs.uk/data-and-information/publications/statistical/hospital-admitted-patient-care-activity/2019-20/summary-reports---apc---patient

Older age groups far more.

They also don't tend to waste their days chatting shit on the internet.

There are tons of silver surfers and keyboard warriors.

Have a look on NextDoor.

As far as I can see you have posted stats on age groups & hospital admissions from the years 2019/2020, nothing to do with obesity or smoking or drinking.

What happens when you (inevitably) get old, will you continue to hold this age group in the same utter disdain you do now?

sorry this was directed at @rainfallpurevividcat not @Blanketyre

I’m absolutely shocked that someone up thread is complaining about the elderly using the NHS, do you actually hear yourself, it’s what it’s bloody well there for! Also it’s very strange that most humans think they are invincible to both health issues and old age, they will get you, hope someone will stick up for you when they do, or maybe they will all have taken on board your current opinions. NOT EVERYONE IN LIFE HAS GOOD FORTUNE! That’s in terms of health, luck, pensions, personal experience and that goes across ALL generations both past, present and future!!!!!

Pensions have been paid into . Instead of pissing away money up the pub , or on a 20 a day cigarette habit ,or the bookies or Bingo , people put money into their pension instead . It often people who frittered their money away on rubbish like that are the most bitter later in life .

You are getting a right old time of it OP but I do agree with the sentiment. Many OAPs have worked hard, some have never worked since they got married, some had a good dose of luck and others none. Some are aware how difficult it is for the next generation down and others think they have done life perfectly and if only everyone could do the same as them they’d end up just as fortunate.

I don't hold any age group in disdain. Some older people do hold young people in disdain though and apparently that kind of ageism and generalisation is ok but they don't like it up 'em when it comes the other way. Of course older people are more likely to use the NHS- I'm not saying that it's wrong that they do, but that some of them also love to complain about and stereotype other groups of people - while not realising that they themselves cost we taxpayers a lot of money.

It's not wrong that they do or needing changed - I would just like certain people in that age group to actually acknowledge it and own it and stop reading crappy newspapers and believing everything they read, moaning about others and voting Tory all the time. I don't begrudge paying taxes and don't want to live in a survival of the fittest society.

I know it's not everyone in that age group but you have to acknowledge there is a type, which is why the OK Boomer thing came about.