‘Well yes we have incredible pensions and are very wealthy but we worked hard’….aaargh

[ChefsKisser]

My parents are very wealthy- they were Doctors at the time when their pensions were amazing (my dads is triple my salary…), they retired pre 65 and have an incredible life. Holidays all the time, inherited a holiday home from the grandparents so have free trips there, basically a lovely lovely life. I don’t begrudge them this at all but it’s frustrating when they talk about it (and they bring it up not me!!) and always end with ‘but we worked so hard’. I work so hard. So so hard I have two small kids, 2 jobs. I’m a healthcare professional in the NHS and my predicted yearly pension is £17k and I’m a good banding!
Sometimes I feel they have this amazing life that I could never ever emulate now and am seen as less deserving as, if I just worked harder, somehow I’d have the old style pension, a smaller mortgage, I don’t know! Life is different now and I’ve accepted that we will never be that well off but it grates.
I don’t want it to be a boomer bashing thread as I know it’s not everyone, some of our friends are very wealthy and my parents have been incredibly generous at times eg lent us money to fix our roof. I guess I’m just completely and utterly envious of their lovely lives! Anyone want to join me 🤣

I guess if you think.they don't deserve their good fortune you can decide to forgo your inheritance.

The inheritance tax is running at 40% on anything over £325K and may be worse after the budget.

You do know, OP, that doctors in their generation worked far more hours than doctors do now?
They also no doubt paid a lot of interest on their mortgage.
There are pluses and minuses for each generation; it's not a competition. You say you don't "begrudge" them their comfortable retirement, but you clearly do. Would you prefer them to be struggling and asking you for money?
Just relax, because comparison is the thief of joy.

I'd say people who earn very high incomes probably did work harder than those who are binmen. Only on mumsnet would that be controversial. That's not to say binmen aren't vital.

Also interst rates were at 17% in the 70s.

If you started working at 17 and paid in to a pension pot for 40 years, you will never "take out more than you have put in". People are so ignorant about the power of compound interest- you will get interest on the money saved and as that builds it will become self sustaining.
Successive governments have destroyed the ability of ordinary people to build these pension pots and there's been very little protest from unions or individuals as they haven't really understood how it works.
There is no detriment to the rest of society for people who have final pension schemes- they are truly living off the interest on money that they paid in.
Unfortunately companies saw an opportunity to steal this money and use it to fund their own interests and we've caved to this.
I can never understand this envy of older generations - they have truly worked for their money and when it comes to our/ younger generations turn we will feel exactly the same if people try and take away money that we have sacrificed for our old age.

I think people are missing the point which is it’s not about the inheritance or the lovely retirement it’s the complete lack of awareness or acknowledgment that this is partially due to luck. A major flaw of many of the boomer gen my own extraordinarily wealthy mother included is the complete lack of awareness around their own good fortune. That yes they worked hard and had good jobs but that people today work very hard in jobs that may or may not be considered ‘good’ and yet will still never achieve the level of comfortability of the boomer gen. This is the problem not wanting all the money

My dad was a doctor too. As a first gen immigrant, he worked all hours and I begrudge him nothing. He certainly worked harder than I have and faced far more racial prejudice.
No one ever talks about how the workplace back then wasn't as it is now for some people.

Don't assume.

Correct. On call junior doctors 30+ years ago were paid at one third of their normal hourly rate. Which meant that, per hour, they were paid less than a porter.
And "on call" meant that you were in the hospital working. For a weekend, you started at 9am on Saturday and finished 5pm (ish) on Monday. Back in work Tuesday morning - no such thing as tine off in lieu. People have no idea.

Do you mean at school? At university? Or do you honestly think that the day-to-day job of a binman is easier and more pleasant than say an accountant or banker?

And your children (or mine) will be paying for your pension! That’s how its works.
Do you not like your father?
Why do you begrudge him having a good life after working his fair time?

I find it odd to be jealous of your own parents. Don’t mean to point out the obvious, but won’t you inherit the lovely home abroad, unless they are both spending their pensions, what’s left will one day be yours. You will benefit from the boomer generation. I know I will. I tell my Mum and Dad to spend the lot, and the inheritance is the house they bought in 1989 for £104,000 is now worth about a million. Just be happy for them. Being jealous of your Mum and Dad is like being jealous of your children.

More posts designed to gauge opinion about IHT and pensions.

My parents are the same and it
annoys me. My PIL however will say they are fortunate, worked hard but appreciate it will never be the same. No one will get pensions like this again.

The narrative of appreciation is what’s missing I’ve realised with my parents. All I ever hear is how much they sacrificed (couldn’t afford a bottle of wine) but my mum gave up work after marriage (no kids at that point). I just keep quiet and roll my eyes internally 🤣

Two doctors were always going to do well. And still do, eventually. I presume it wasn't possible for you to do medicine. You are not comparing like with like. I retired recently as a teacher. At 21 l had no choice but to enter my pension scheme. I probably wouldn't have bothered if it wasn't compulsory but boy am l glad now. My dc in late 20s have not started one yet and l cannot persuade them. I have a comfortable pension now but l would hate my dc to envy me. I am happy to downsize home etc to help them get on the property ladder but l would be slow to do that if l picked up any resentment from their side.
Stop comparing and enjoy your life.

Yes, my husband is like this and I'm very fortunate 😁

the 'deferred salary' thing is true- my DF who if he was alive would now be in his 80s retired early with a generous pension - but he was a civil servant who moved from the private sector and took a 50% pay cut as a result
obviously the coffee/avocado thing is nonsense, but it makes a bit more sense if you consider what things were like in this country in the 60s and 70s- I don't think I saw an avocado till about 1980 and even then as a student (and yes, I had a grant for which I will be forever grateful)....I could not afford to buy one, nor did we often go to cafes.
so the things many people on average incomes take for granted were luxuries when 'boomers' were young

I get that. Unfortunately, I think care feeds and governments will seek to take more of a cut from the presumed major transfer of wealth from the boomers generation downwards.

My father started work at 14 as did much of his generation. So yes, almost all their lives.

so the things many people on average incomes take for granted were luxuries when 'boomers' were young

but that’s due to globalisation & technology advances not because younger generations are entitled which is often the narrative.

Envious of their lovely, lovely life that you don’t begrudge them for…right.

You have had a privileged upbringing.

Were you frequently physically or verbally assaulted as a child? If not, maybe the venting is a bit overboard.

Check your privilege.

I’ll swap you mine for yours.

Were you frequently physically or verbally assaulted as a child? If not, maybe the venting is a bit overboard.

so only those abused can vent?

Check your privilege.

That would apply to most threads then 🙄

Your predicted annual pension is high and you will inherit from your parents as they did. You are in a much better position than most people. And I fully expect when you are old you will be lecturing the young on how hard you worked for your wealth.

Yeah I understand all the posts about inheriting it- maybe I will. I have 3 siblings so it will be split, inheritance tax will likely be higher and I’m hoping my parents live to a ripe old age in which case I’ll be in my mid seventies. So the money will be lovely but late in life and I will likely hand a lot of it down to my children if I get any as I’m unlikely to be able to give them help with deposits etc before then.
I know I speak from a place of privilege and many are worse off. The posters who understand it’s grating to be told ‘it’s because we work hard’ when we also work very hard with no hope of the same seem to get it!