I've just walked through the door after a much needed week away ...

[Alongstretchhome]

It was a weeks holiday to get away from lots of stress. Lovely break just what I needed. But .. I walked through the door, exhausted, to a message from a friend asking me for (another) favour. This friend knew I was due home this evening. I hadn't even seen my DDs before the phone is pinging for a favour. Dh moaning at me that I'm on my phone as soon as we get in (lots of messages back & forth with friend re the favour), dh then decides we're all getting a takeaway, fine with me, but I'm then being pressed to chose my dishes and make the call to the takeaway (he can't call) while I'm sorting out friend. My sister then messages me to say "I assume you are home" ie I've not heard from you that you are home OK. Cue quick message to her, who I can tell is annoyed.
All I wanted was a cup of coffee and a hot shower after a long flight.

I just want to cry

Learn to impose some boundaries. Being a people pleaser is not a good quality even if it may seem so.

Turn the phone off

Put your phone down and ignore all the people pestering you. No one is forcing you to check your messages. Create some boundaries. If your phone battery was flat these people wouldn't be hearing back from you would they? Not sure choosing a takeaway is the biggest hardship....beats cooking!

Turn off your phone

Stop replying to your friend. Wait until it's convenient for you to do so.

Tell your DH to phone the takeaway.

You don't have to reply to your friend. That's a choice you've made. Put yourself first!!

Exactly

Absolutely.
I have a friend who is, for want of a better way of describing it, very needy. They have a wealth of problems that I am sympathetic to, but I am one of three people they ever speak to, and the one that they offload to.
There have been times when, to protect my own wellbeing, I've turned the phone off for the night.
I'd message family if they were concerned, but literally to say, "Home now. Knackered. Catch up in a few days"

Why did your needy friend take priority? That’s totally on you.

You are in charge of how and when you respond to people that phone or message you, it is for YOUR convenience not anyone else's.

Boundaries. Just because they're messaging now doesn't mean you have to reply now.
Put the phone down, hug your girls, have the coffee and shower, ask DH to take over take away (or cook if there he is deaf or something so literally can't call) duties this time.
The intrusions into your evening can only get in if you let them. Ignore your phone for now and reply when youve recharged yourself.

Cannot relate to your personality type at all OP.

Should have left your phone on airplane mode until Monday....

Message friend if you gave to, we'll sort thus tomorrow.

Phone takeaway it will take 5 minutes.

Have a long hot shower whilst waiting for takeaway

Eat hear the family's news

Well you're the one choosing to reply to all these people. Just put your phone down and they can wait until you're ready.

You hadn't even seen DDs but a msg notification from a friend needed priority? You know messages don't require an immediate response. I'm sorry OP but this is ridiculous. You are home from a week away you need to at least greet your family.

You n on now you don't have to instantly reply right?

Anything short of actual emergency I would have ignored until tomorrow. Sister would have been told to bog off until I could take a breath.

They are not your boss, you are in charge of you.

You ignore your phone OP..I don't answer any messages until I'm good and ready. Even from the none needy.

All that is on you. Stop. Prioritise and go have a hot bath or whatever helps you relax.

Unless its urgent life in danger level of favour, ignore until convenient. You're choosing to interact/reply.

you need to get some serious boundaries in place with your friend. If DH had been away for a week and then came home and started messaging someone else rather than interact with your family - but why can’t he call

Turn your phone off. Unless the favour from the friend was "I need you to take me to A&E now" it's not urgent and can wait.
If dh can't call to place a takeaway order pick a place with online ordering.
Have a coffee and a shower while you wait for the food to arrive.

People only walk over you if you let them.

Sorry @Alongstretchhome for not being a little more sympathetic in my first reply

People that pester for updates on whether you are home safely are so annoying. My dm does this all the time. She had no clue day to day if I have survived the drive but for some reason when I visit her will go to pieces if I don't message. I always point out that she will find out soon enough if I've been flattened by a juggernaut! I mean I know I am lucky she cares but its more about her anxiety than whether I'm actually ok.

In your case after a flight, does she not think your dh would notice and alert someone if you didn't come home.

Anyway, switch it off, order some food and get in that shower!

So rude to your family! You’ve been away for a week and walk in gawping at your phone then get shitty about choosing takeaway food.

It was a nice holiday, not a stint down the mines. Your shower can wait an hour. Your sister can wait. Your user mate can wait. And now you’re posting about all of it. Sort your priorities out ffs.