I've just walked through the door after a much needed week away ...

[Alongstretchhome]

It was a weeks holiday to get away from lots of stress. Lovely break just what I needed. But .. I walked through the door, exhausted, to a message from a friend asking me for (another) favour. This friend knew I was due home this evening. I hadn't even seen my DDs before the phone is pinging for a favour. Dh moaning at me that I'm on my phone as soon as we get in (lots of messages back & forth with friend re the favour), dh then decides we're all getting a takeaway, fine with me, but I'm then being pressed to chose my dishes and make the call to the takeaway (he can't call) while I'm sorting out friend. My sister then messages me to say "I assume you are home" ie I've not heard from you that you are home OK. Cue quick message to her, who I can tell is annoyed.
All I wanted was a cup of coffee and a hot shower after a long flight.

Yes turn the phone off.

Put your phone down and concentrate on your DH and kids. You don't need to answer your friend and sister immediately that they text.

This is completely self-imposed stress OP. You did it to yourself. Switch the phone off, and literally all these troubles will fall away. It’s really off to make out like other people have made you feel this way, that you’re out upon.

Tell your friend sorry, you'll call her tomorrow.
Log off MN
Order a takeaway

Honestly, you need to arrange your priorities. Your husband and daughter first. You could have easily dropped a simple to your sister "Hi, just arrived home. Catching up with dh and dd. Talk soon". Seems like you drop everything for your friend. The fact that she could wait till you got home and it was sorted via text makes me wonder was it an emergency or drama?

Indeed.

And now you’re posting on MN! Switch your phone off and give your poor family some attention… 🙄

And why are you now posting on MN........ instead of relaxing and catching up with your children?

I don't want to sound like I'm harassing you but, as others have pointed out, you have agency. Nobody is forcing you to always prioritise others. Set some boundaries!

Wow I'd be super pissed off if my DH went away for a week whilst I looked after the kids and household and then moaned about having to order a takeaway when he got home.

Why dis you even look at the messages until you were ready?

Tell DH to wait.

Sounds like martyrdom to me

You know you can order online? It's 2024...

To your sister, reply "Ffs, I'm sorry I wanted to get in the door and take my coat off before texting you 🙄"

Your friend could have waited, too.

I only have a mobile phone for emergencies and don't use WhatsApp. I find it quite liberating. You need to switch your phone off, at least for tonight and generally be less available going forward.

What others are saying is right - it's your choice to treat the phone as a summons. You could have ignored your friend's text until you said hello and had a shower. Your sister is not your boss.
Stop taking so much on!

Turn your phone off. Unless the favour from the friend was "I need you to take me to A&E now" it's not urgent and can wait.

This. Your friend sounds like a piss taker.

Mangling an aphorism here but wellness begins at home!

Boundaries, mate, boundaries.

Put your phone on do not disturb and focus on your family.

Absolutely. You're not less important than everyone else.
Don't be at your friend's beck and call. Ignore her and your sister. Don't be a slave to your phone! Set it to voicemail or put it on airplane mode until you're ready. Tell your friend and sister that this is what you're doing from now on.

Your husband can either do the takeaway order himself, or wait for you. Don't let him rush you. I can't use the phone either, so I order takeaways online, so do my kids. He's just got used to you doing it.

Absolutely! Am amused by the It was a weeks holiday to get away from lots of stress. Lovely break just what I needed. But .. I walked through the door, exhausted
Oh dear, away on your own for a lovely wellness break... and it's EXHAUSTED you!

Yeah just put your phone down. Your stress is centring around text messages. Just switch it off.

Why are you answering your friend and your sister immediately? Just ignore it until you're ready. Bizarre that some people feel the need to respond straight away.

You can......and it costs a lot more. Take a proper look at the menu prices and compare them next time you do it . 😬 Also not all restaurants are online.

Aside from all that strolling in after a week away and shoving your face straight into your phone instead of spending time with your partner and dc is downright rude.

I take days to reply OP sometimes even weeks.

You need to take this approach. 😂

Seriously though, people know the people who will drop everything vs the people who they don’t have a chance of scoring a cheeky favour from.

Be the latter.

Turn all your notifications off and look at your messages when it suits you. Anything truly urgent, people can ring, which will happen barely ever.