Why would a SW need to interview children alone

[Nuthatches]

I have 2 DC (teens). DC1 with severe learning difficulties and DC2 with a host of severe MH issues (depression, anxiety, undiagnosed Asd (waiting list). DC2 attempted to commit suicide a few days ago. SW has been assigned. She called and says she needs to speak to both children alone. Why would she need to speak to DC1 who has nothing to do with the whole suicide attempt and doesn't understand what is going on in any case? Is this a child protection case?

i would assume that because the children are under 18 they need to make sure that there are no underlying issues as to why you child tried to harm themselves (i hate the term committ suicide, it implies a crime or wrong doing).

thankfully your DC did not succeed, and the SW will be making sure there's no issues at home.

child has severe depression, undiagnosed ASD, severe anxiety. No involvement from camhs as they don't have enough staff. Child just isn't mentally well. it's nothing we cause but they cannot treatment on the NHS. that is the whole underlying issue. nothing else. I am not a bad mum.

I think you can request someone in the interview for your child with severe learning disabilities. It can't be you though. It would be a third party.

my DC1 is a happy and healthy child. All needs are met. SW can talk to them until she is blue in the face. I have nothing to hide. I just don't understand why they need to out DC1 through this. What are they trying to achieve? DC2 isn't even in school anymore as school cannot cope. We get no help. it's all on me. I don't understand it. they should investigate the local camhs for refusing treatment, the school for refusing to make reasonable adjustments but instead they invade our home. Feels like that. sorry.

Isn't it obvious? A child cant speak freely In front of an abusive parent. They need to make sure there is no abuse going on.

i am not an abusive parent. and DC1 is happy. DC2 is having a mental health crisis due to unmet need (school/NHS).

Also, DC1 has a severe cognitive impairment. Doesn't understand what is going on.

No one is saying you are a bad mum but SW has a duty of care to your children. They don’t know you personally and speaking to children alone is just best practice in case there’s anything they need to divulge. This isn’t about you, it’s about your kids.

Understand you are going through a massive amount of stress and caring for two high needs kids must be emotionally draining for you. You’ll likely be at your wits end. But this is normal when there’s SS intervention.

This I’m afraid. You may be a great parent but clearly there are less than great parents out there and the SW doesn’t know which type you are and needs to try to find out.

I’m sorry about your child. It sounds like a very difficult time. Wishing you all the best and hope they get some good quality help now.

no one is saying you are a bad mum.

one poster implied I am a potentially abusive parent.

I'm a foster carer and when child's SW comes to visit every 3 months at the end of visit they always ask to speak with foster son with learning disabilities alone. He has said they ask if he is happy and if anything makes him sad. Then they ask if he wants any contact with his biological parent. Sometimes they tell him they are pleased he's doing well at college. It all takes about 3 mins.

They don't know that until they speak to them without you there.

YOU know you are a good mum. They don’t yet. They can’t take your word for it.
A child who has attempted suicide suggests that there is a serious problem somewhere. You know it’s not you. They need to make sure.
Request a suitable adult is in with your children.
Surely you can understand that in cases like this they have to look into the family dynamics. Not everyone is a good parent like you.

A SW has to regard all parents as potentially abusive until convinced otherwise. Quite rightly too. They don't know you, it's not personal.

They didn't imply that. They were just giving reasons as to why they ask to speak alone.

Some parents are abusive, this doesn't mean you are but they have to check the children are OK.

You know that, but the sw needs to speak to the DCs in an environment where they can speak freely, without feeling intimidated. They are only doing their job.

Please insist on a third party being present when the social worker talks to your child.

Don't ever let them talk to your child alone.

You are a potentially abusive parent. Every parent in the country is, until social services do their investigations and find out whether you are or not. And that involves speaking alone to children to see if there’s anything they won’t disclose in front of their parents.

No one has said you are abusive though. Just that there needs to be an investigation.

is there a reason you would recommend that? bad experience?

What @NeverDropYourMooncup said.

I know you're stressed out but nobody is saying anything bad about your parenting in here.

It's presumably standard procedure to interview separately and used in all cases.

You know you're a good mum but until they talk to the kids they don't know that.

Well, I have been asking for years for some help to get respite for DC1 and was shut down at every opportunity. they made it clear they have no intention to support our family. they can frankly fuck off if they just come to play the blame game because they (and Camhs, and education) have let us down at every opportunity!

the waiting list for an autism assessment is also 6 years long locally. there is no help through camhs for children who have severe mental health needs. there are no beds in psychiatric wards (been told I need to watch over DC 24/7 now even though I also have DC1 and a job). there is no help. what is the SW going to achieve? magic up a functioning NHS? A school place?

@Nuthatches that poster didn't imply that you were an abusive parent, they were explaining that the SW doesn't know whether or not there's abuse involved and needs to give the kids an opportunity to speak freely. It's not an accusation, it's screening and it saves lives.

I know how horrible this is, I've had a suicidal teenager and experienced the pain and terror of feeling judged and scrutinised. Having my bag searched when we were admitted for emergency psychiatric assessment was a particular low point. Coupled with the rage at the lack of support, the school-based trauma and negligence, it's awful and no wonder you are feeling vulnerable. Sending solidarity and strength

Working Together says children should be seen and spoken to alone. You might know you're not abusive but I don't know that because I don't know you or your family. It's standard process. Social workers do it all day every day. They will ask things like what makes you happy, what makes you sad, are you worried about anything, what would help things to be better etc.

They said that SS need to interview your DC alone because a child can’t speak freely in front of an abusive parent. That was a direct response to your question about why they need to speak to children without the parents present. SS speak to children alone to rule out abuse. It’s literally their job.

You have asked a question of ‘why’ and have been given this answer. No one here has accused you of anything. You sound like you are at a crisis point so I hope the SW sees that and gets some help around you. I understand you have been very let down so far and it sounds like you have a lot to cope with.