Why would a SW need to interview children alone

[Nuthatches]

I have 2 DC (teens). DC1 with severe learning difficulties and DC2 with a host of severe MH issues (depression, anxiety, undiagnosed Asd (waiting list). DC2 attempted to commit suicide a few days ago. SW has been assigned. She called and says she needs to speak to both children alone. Why would she need to speak to DC1 who has nothing to do with the whole suicide attempt and doesn't understand what is going on in any case? Is this a child protection case?

No they didn’t, they were saying that’s why it is done. Sw don’t know you. So they don’t know if you’re abusive or not and need to find out.

try not to be so defensive, it will ring alarm bells. Support the sw, they are there to help your child.

Abusive parents would be saying the same things you are but be devious and sneaky about the truth so a SW has to check just in case. When abused kids are in the news, SS’s (in)actions are always a factor in how the abusive parent gets away with things until they murder the child.

You are not an abusive parent but SW don’t know until they visit your home and do some investigating. Unfortunately abusers don’t have a flashing sign on their faces and need to be uncovered.

I struggle to see what insights, someone with severe learning disabilities could give, that their sibling within the normal intelligence range couldn’t, as to why the sibling is depressed and the problems due to undiagnosed autism?

What level is the sibling with severe learning disabilities operating at - that of a 6 month old baby, or a year or what?

Who would be checking the comprehension of the sibling with severe learning disabilities, when the SW asked questions?

If I were OP, I’d ask for an audiotape and an independent advocate with experience of LD to sit in on the SW’s questions.

I’m very sorry that it’s taken this long to get noticed by the services.

Social services don't know that though, we had a social worker involved ,for respite etc my youngest son is severely autistic and has severe learning disabilities, the social worker also spoke with my oldest son alone, they like to get a perspective of the whole family and, family dynamics.

It's to help your children it is not about you maybe think of them?

No one is accusing you of being abusive or a bad mum op. Not posters on here or ss. When my underage dc was suffering with their mental health our gp requested that I leave the room whilst they chatted to them. A nurse was also present. I knew it wasn't about me, but sometimes dc will open up and tell strangers things that they wouldn't want to say in front of their parents.

@Nuthatches This isn't a reflection on your parenting.

It boils down to funding. The CAMHS is on its knees through lack of funding. It's abysmal.

In a properly funded system your child would be receiving regular appointments and help with their mental health.

Social services (if called at all) would be liaising with other professionals involved and given your circumstances it's unlikely there would be this intervention.

But, there is no other intervention so they must do this as a baseline.

It's not you, it's the system.

You may find that the social worker puts in a recommendation that your child is seen by CAMHS urgently. I'd be asking them to do this too.

SW knows that DC has complex learning needs!

It's not about DC1 giving insights into why DC2 harmed themselves.

If there's questions over whether DC2 harmed themselves because of something happening at home, it would be irresponsible not to also give other children in the home a chance to disclose if they wanted. Just because one child harms themselves and the other doesn't, doesn't mean both children can't be suffering at home.

(And this is all hypothetical before OP complains I'm saying she's definitely abusing her children. I'm explaining how SS approach households they investigate, not hers specifically).

But there is no help. Local camhs cannot offer treatment, ASD assessment is years away. School cannot meet need. What can the SW do?

thursdaymurderclub · Today 10:35

i would assume that because the children are under 18 they need to make sure that there are no underlying issues as to why you child tried to harm themselves (i hate the term committ suicide, it implies a crime or wrong doing).

Commit just means an action was performed but general poor literacy in the population has led to people making a connection with crime, and this usage is now being discouraged in the media.

Ask them what support they can give based on their findings. They can access a lot more than you can.

If there's questions over whether DC2 harmed themselves because of something happening at home, it would be irresponsible not to also give other children in the home a chance to disclose if they wanted. Just because one child harms themselves and the other doesn't, doesn't mean both children can't be suffering at home.

they harmed themselves because of severe MH issues. Probably rooted due to unmet needs for the undiagnosed autism. And the inability to access treatment through Camhs. I don't know what I can possibly do about it?

But surely you don't expect them to blithely take a parent's word on that?

Remove yourself and your kids from the scenario for a moment, and replace them with another family.

Does that make it easier to understand why?

I know but there will be a process ti be followed, my son is nonverbal, so wouldn't be able to have a conversation, in his case they would speak to his ,school,respite ,etc.

Poster did not imply you are an abusive parent and the SW isn't implying that either. They have to check though don't they? They don't know you? They have to check with your kids and also the next kids that come along as there may be abuse in the next kids household. So they check everyone , it's not personal against you

No point in being negative and defensive. The Social Worker is there to help your children, gain insight into the situation and offer help. You saying there is no help, well that is exactly what the Social Worker is coming to do and find a way forward for your children. Try being pleasant when he/she comes - you're all on the same side!!!!!!

Sorry if I’ve missed it, has the gp not put them on the autism pathway?

they are not there to help. we have been begging for years! they made it clear they are not interested. Can people please stop saying they are there to help? If anything, they let us down for a long time.

Everyone is a potentially abusive parent. That’s why the sw worker needs to speak to your kids alone to check that you aren’t. It’s so hard but you have to run with this.

@Nuthatches

If school cannot meet need, when this time has passed and you are in a stronger place, please contact IPSEA.

www.ipsea.org.uk/

It's a charitable organisation that advise on getting help from your LA. They are excellent at helping you navigate law and the school system.

And social services are just confirming that this is the case through their investigation. Giving children a voice is a key part of what social services do, in every investigation even when it seems completely obvious what the answers will be.

And no one has said you need to do anything about anything, other than not obstruct them in their statutory duties.

She never . You asked why and she told you why.

This is all normal, don't take it personally. The social worker has to do this. It could also be a possibility that your dc has been abused and you are unaware. Work with the system not against it. You may find that now your dd has attempted suicide they speed up the asd diagnosis / she now meets cahms criteria. Obviously it's awful it has to get to that point. I hope your dd gets the support she needs.