Why would a SW need to interview children alone

[Nuthatches]

I have 2 DC (teens). DC1 with severe learning difficulties and DC2 with a host of severe MH issues (depression, anxiety, undiagnosed Asd (waiting list). DC2 attempted to commit suicide a few days ago. SW has been assigned. She called and says she needs to speak to both children alone. Why would she need to speak to DC1 who has nothing to do with the whole suicide attempt and doesn't understand what is going on in any case? Is this a child protection case?

It sounds like you're at the end of your tether, @Nuthatches

I'm sorry you're in this situation and I hope you get some help.

Do ask your doctor to sign you off for a few weeks while you navigate things.

But SS don’t know that do they?

they must make their own investigation to make sure.

This.

The fact you can't grasp this is a red flag itself.

You have two children with very significant additional needs. Embrace all the support you can get, for their sake. DC1 may well have something helpful to say to the social worker - that can't be a bad thing.

This specific social worker has previously told you there nothing they will ever do to help you no matter what happens?

Otherwise, you need to stop being defensive and combative.

No one thinks you're an abusive Mom, but we can't be sure. Imagine a young girl beaten beaten by her Mom, specially abused by her FIL. DSIB has learning disabilities but Mom always sets their severe.
The eldest commits suicide. The youngest doesn't have the means. It comes out she was abused and the little is sis too. No one cares about to ask. Imagine. Ge outcry

And please remember that a diagnosis is just that, a diagnosis. What you need is help for your dc's mental health situation rather than proof or not that they are autistic. Social services can help you access that. Having an autism diagnosis doesn't magically get you help, it's the net effect of the autism eg anxiety and depression that gets you support if that makes sense. I did get the support for dd when she needed it, but you need to be persistent, I found the teenage psychiatric nursing service in my city was far better than the drs, the nurse was an expert on that age group (14-17) so really understood

Incase of abuse by the parent/s, that the child would obviously be too scared to talk about in front of. It is no reflection on you op. It isn't personal, and is a policy in place for a very good reason. Safety of children trumps the feelings of offended parents.

I’m really glad that’s this case in your area. It’s sadly not the case in all.

I would never let anyone talk to my autistic child alone without a third party present (and he doesn't have a diagnosis of a learning disability).
His understanding of the world and people is still so limited though, he is so vulnerable and could easily be led to say things that are untrue.

What if there was a child of this nature getting abused. I hope the third party would be somebody impartial from the family?

Yes, an independent party, for sure. Unless you have a child with a similar disability, it's really hard to understand how vulnerable they are.

No-one has implied you're an abusive parent; you're projecting your own stress onto the situation.
I have AuDHD twins, aged 6, and have been crying out for help since they were 2; for context, Twin 2 self harms.
The only reason SS has appointed us a SW is because I shared that I had relapsed on alcohol (I'm a recovering alcoholic) in April.
SS may want to see BOTH your DC to get a better picture about their lived reality.
My 6 year olds saw their SW individually, but I insisted upon a member of school staff being present.

I do.

It absolutely won't result in court ordered anything. Jesus Christ. Inform yourself

If you're a social worker you should know there are many reasons why a parent may feel anxious about you speaking to their child alone and you should be able to use your skills to reassure them and achieve what you need rather than be talking about 'red flags'.

Op

I have a child who attempted suicide.

This triggers a whole load of actions from various places.

Basically this is a situation where SS are expected to find out what is going on as it means that something is badly wrong.

After they have worked out what is going on it can also unlock help that is not on offer to teens who have not attempted.

My DD was out of school etc etc and she was referred to a number of places some if which were helpful.

They do need to find out what the situation is before they can offer help as it changes what sort of help is offered (and the fact that your dc has attempted means that some help should be offered).

If other dc are impacted they are sometimes offered help like carers groups at school etc. due to your dc's needs this is unlikely but SS can offer help to other siblings.

From childlawadvice.org.uk

"If a parent refuses to give consent for a social worker to speak to the child on their own, professionals may become concerned about the child's safety and well-being. This can result in children's services becoming more involved; for example, a court order can be sought to ensure the child's safety."

Probably unlikely, in this case but not impossible.

My older half sister could have told Social workers about the abuse meted out to two of her younger brothers, both of whom were neurodiverse and the younger of the two would truant (partly, I suspect, because there were too many times the staff had queried the bruising and the abuser would go ballistic for letting the teachers see 'what he'd done to himself').

My sister was threatened - not just of being hurt herself, but with further punishment of the two victims - every time something happened and when there eventually was an investigation into the latest non accidental injuries (with a carving knife) and the 'how dare they accuse me, they can't invade my home, I'm a great parent, it's nothing to do with me what's happened' didn't work, our mother insisted on being in the room with her.

My sister said nothing.

The cycle continued with me, just with zero oversight because nobody ever asked me if I was being hurt/screamed at/not fed/threatened/my pets were being threatened and hurt.

MAY is the operative word here.
honestly, most parents don't refuse consent. Some do, and in those cases we look at what other evidence we have. If we have evidence that significant harm is likely being caused to the child then we escalate, to CP, PLO or even court. However in the vast majority of cases we don't have that evidence and so we work with what we have. Sometimes we ask the school to talk to the child in normal pastoral support time. Sometimes we get the parent to agree we can talk with a teacher present. Sometimes if they are old enough to have a phone we get the parents to consent to the child using an app we use to elicit their views. Sometimes we just don't have the evidence to do anything else and so we close: the chance of going to court is minuscule in most cases and in the case of the OP who from all her other threads has only been referred to SW because of her child's autism/MH/suicidality there is no evidence that she is causing any harm and they would not be going in looking for that necessarily. Having an open mind and seeking the child's views doesn't mean you are assuming a parent is abusive.

SS don’t have the resources to help everyone, it’s generally only when you’re at complete crisis point will they step in. I was the same as you, begged for help for years for myself and my disabled child, but not until we reached a crisis were we deemed eligible.
The SW will be able to access and push forward referrals you can’t do yourself, don’t shoot yourself in the foot before giving them a chance. They will be there for the sake of your children and to want things to improve for them. Whatever you think of the whole thing has to be put aside so your children can be helped.

Yes, @CameronStrike which is why I said it was unlikely. You stated it WOULDN'T happen, which was potentially misleading.

Do you not have the option of Right to Choose? 6 years seems excessive, we went this route and were 4 months from referral to diagnosis, would have been 3 if we'd not been unable to make the first set of appointments offered.

I’m sorry I don’t think they were applying you personally were abusive - just more explaining the circumstances why this interview would be done in all circumstances.

I’m sorry your family is going through this - it must be awful - try and think of the process is just ticking all the boxes and not a reflection on you.

It was there until earlier in the year but local NHS commissioning (or whatever it is called) has pulled funding. I think too many parents jumped on it. I am now kicking myself for not initiating this process back then but that door is closed. other option is to go private but I just do not have the funds right now.

OP, what you are going through is awful, I'm so sorry.

i work a little bit in this area.

SW speaking to your DD alone is a procedural thing, it's not a comment or judgement on your parenting.

whats happened with your daughter will have changed her 'case' and they will be reassessing what supports the family needs.

i can imagine how frustrating this must be when you have been telling th for years what you all need but unfortunately that's the system.

try to see this as an opportunity for your daughter yo state her needs to them and for the sw and autism services to see your situation in a different way.

sadly there are some parents whose kids can't speak in front of, encourage your dd and show that you support her voice being heard directly, sw is not trying to catch you out or make you look bad