I'm not being out of order am I?

[Shithole101]

Earlier on I cooked myself fish and chips for dinner I asked Dd 14. If she wants anything she said no. Now she asking me to cook and I have said no. She got stroppy. And hasnt bothered eating Now I feel guilty

Surely at 14 she can make her own?

Yes. I think its because I feel she should eat. Because she not eaten all day . Well apart from 2 bags of crisps and a bit of chocolate.

Why aren't you providing your daughter with proper foood?

Where did you read that ?

Would you not cook for her as a matter of course rather than asking?

I wouldve offered to throw something quick and easy on while I was cooking for myself, esp if Id noticed theyhadnt eaten anything decent all day. But in general if they dont want what Im cooking then they sort themselves out

Yes. I think its because I feel she should eat. Because she not eaten all day . Well apart from 2 bags of crisps and a bit of chocolate.

You are responsible here. So many people are quick to point out that teens 'should' be able to do tasks etc but ultimately you need to ensure she eats. There is no reason for you to refuse to make her food other than you want to 'teach' her a lesson. Just teach her you care and get her some dinner.

Yeah that's what I offered . I said she could have what om having or choose something else and I will cook it at the same time. And she said no.

It's Sunday- do you not have one meal in the day where the family/household sit together and eat the same thing? You didn't have lunch or dinner or even just breakfast together with your dd?

@TheReturnOfFeathersMcGraw

Sorry I didn't mean to quote you there, no idea how I have done that

There are two issues here.

1. How do you both usually handle dinner? My DDs often don't eat with me. My DDs like to cook their own food at the same time as each other and often when I do too. We rarely eat the same menu but we often eat at the same time and sometimes together.
2. What does your daughter normally eat during the day? Crisps and chocolate are not v filling.

No worries, I assumed you were agreeing with me 😂

It's annoying as fuck but yeah, you do just have to get them some dinner I think OP 🤷🏻‍♀️ At 14 it's still our responsibility to make sure they eat, don't stay up all night etc imo so I would make her something simple although I'd probably moan about doing it.

Age 14 is year 9 or 10, that's pretty young still... I'm surprised you'd let her fend for herself all day without even one family meal.

I would cook a meal for a teen if she didn't want it she could heat it up later.

It's your responsibility to make sure your child eats.

Ideally with the rest of the family at a table.

Normally it would me , dd, ds 8&9 plus older teen ds if he's here . The 2 younger ones were at their dad's. Older teen ds was asleep. So it was just me and dd. I went to cook myself fish and chips. Dd said no when I offered . I asked if she wanted something different and she said no. About an hour ago she asked me to cook and I told her to make something herself. The younger ones are home now abd it's time for baths etc.

Sorry I did not quite answer. If it was all of is eating . Maybe spag bol or something like that. If the older one don't want it they can either reheat later or sort themselves.

You offered , she said no she shouldn't expect you to jump to an hour later . Presumably you have an air fryer / microwave if so she can fix herself something in 15 minutes.

Yes we have plenty of easy food to cook. Microwave/ air frier .

If you have microwave food or a basic meal I'd give her that and encourage a healthier breakfast or lunch next time as she's probably eaten till she felt gross and sick then got hungry after as it was all empty calories

Yiu are not her servant. She can make herself a sandwich or go hungry

Yes we have plenty of easy food to cook. Microwave/ air frier .

Why don't you make her something then?

This isn't a battle you want to get into. You are the adult with ultimate responsibility. Feed her.

Cooking a meal for your child isn't being a servant. It's being...a parent

Or could it be that it could teach her to either eat when I'm cooking . Or do something for herself. Ie a part of learning to fend for herself she's 14 not 4.

Or could it be that it could teach her to either eat when I'm cooking . Or do something for herself. Ie a part of learning to fend for herself she's 14 not 4.

It's taught her nothing. She has barely eaten all day. Teach her you care about her?

And if I cook for her is that not giving her the message that she can mess about at dinner time. Choose not to eat . Then expect me to cook for her later.