Labour to introduce Cheese Tax

[DadJoke]

The total cheese market in the UK is £4.5bn annually. I've heard that Labour will be taxing cheese at 20%, raising almost £1bn, which will be used to fund research into vegan alternatives. As a cheese lover I strenously object.

In the spirit of other threads which speculate wildly about taxes and benefit cuts Labour will definitely introduce, tell me something you are sure Labour will put forward at the budget. Links are optional. Trust me, bro is evidence.

Does it go hard or soft when stale? If it goes hard it is taxable, if it goes soft it isn't.

Or is it the other way round?

That’s American’s for you…

My Kefir is quite fluid, it does not really go stale, it moves freely.

I've found a counterfeta!

I heard a rumour that they will be starting a new tax TAT, which is tax added tax, all tax will be charged 20% tax on top, including that tax on top, taxed on top.

A worthy successor to the famous case that had to decide whether jaffa cakes were cakes or biscuits. McVitie's said cakes, Customs & Excise said biscuits, McVitie's won. Zero rated for VAT as one of the essentials of life. Can the same be said of kefir?

Dissapointed, hoped this would be a traditional cheese tax 😔 I like cheese.

I feel sorry for Keir, edam'ed if he do, edam'wd if he don't

Won't someone think of the sausages?!

Masturbating is going to be indirectly taxed. They will achieve that by abolishing Hand Relief.

I came here to mention the cheese tax the dog collects too 🤣🤣🤣

Nicely done!

Moonshine Manchego? Bootleg Baps? Hookey Hummus?

Next thing we know, you'll be wanting a yellow three wheeler and a Batman suit.

This is entirely the fault of the Baby Boomers with their years of free Cheddar and Wensleydale. GenZ can't even dream of a morsel of cheese even if the work into the 90s.

Have we had the simple...

It's nacho cheese! Not now anyway.

Rude. We haven’t used that perjorative ‘baby boomer’ label for years. In progressive circles say Baby Bellers.

You're cheesed off?

😂😂😂

I hear they are not going ahead with the proposed tax on brown envelopes though!

oh I’m all for the brown envelope tax. We have loads of them in an unsupervised cupboard at work. DM me. 0 tax brown envelopes, discount on bulk orders, meet me at the Tesco car park after they shut at 10.

THIS...IS....A.....DISGRACE.

We can smuggle untaxed cheese in from Wales.
(Apols to Jasper Fforde)

Another of the difficult choices Starmer talks of - Edammed if he does and Edammed if he doesn’t !!

That American cheese in a spray can...

Would that be taxed, as is it really cheese?

I heard they were going to give the grammar police new fundraising powers? But maybe I’m apostrophising…