Labour to introduce Cheese Tax

[DadJoke]

The total cheese market in the UK is £4.5bn annually. I've heard that Labour will be taxing cheese at 20%, raising almost £1bn, which will be used to fund research into vegan alternatives. As a cheese lover I strenously object.

In the spirit of other threads which speculate wildly about taxes and benefit cuts Labour will definitely introduce, tell me something you are sure Labour will put forward at the budget. Links are optional. Trust me, bro is evidence.

You don't really expect me to back down and admit this is a just a scare story based on evidence!

Brian in accounts is old-school and still calls it the BCB. He doesn't think much of Sophie, and she would say that, wouldn't she?

For a moment, there, my blood pressure shot up.

Who needs cam-em-bert when you have the CAMDENBEAR? Bearing down.

Whine-o’clock? Thursday is the new Friday

That'll be all the cheese!

My dogs implemented the cheese tax ages ago.

Stop milking it

The cheese tax is the warm macaroni I shovel into my mouth direct from the pan, hoping DS doesn't ask for seconds.

Heck, that’s true. If I had to pay tax on the cheese the dog eats too…

No more cheese puns! I camembert it...

It’s like Labour just don’t give Edam

You won’t agree with everything they do. You have got to take the gouda with the bad.

It'll be a feta worse than death

A new tax on acronyms is the next suggestion.

This reminds me of the scene in Anchorman where Veronica discovers that Ron will say whatever’s on the autocue. I wondered if Truss’ speechwriters found she would just say whatever they wrote, so they just got more and more ridiculous.

This is so wrong. There should be higher rates of taxation for stronger cheese.

Stilton just is in a different league to a Cheshire.

As for Stinking Bishop...

Fake news surely
Is it? I Cantal.🤔

My dogs implemented the cheese tax ages ago.

anyone else singing the cheese tax song in their heads now. Been paying it to my cat for years.

but on a more serious note I have heard that they are taxing people who voted Leave with a one off levy to try and recuperate some of the immense monetary loss due to Brexit.

My ex husband is quite senior at the DWP and he heard it through his step son who is at the DFT.

The cheese tax is a song for doggies

I already pay cheese tax … to the dog.

I don’t eat it (vegan, apologies) but vegan cheese is shit, so funding is warranted!

Stinking Bishop? Dear God, I love that stuff. Maybe we could get a religious exemption?

Today is not April 1st.

Is this a stealth tax or is he treading Caerphilly?

Will they ever stop attacking the poor pensioners? Don’t they know we eat lots of cheese!!

B&Q have refused to facilitate a tacks tax

And sheep-farmers are protesting bitterly against a tick tax.

However, the Church of England is all in favour of a sin tax.

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cheese tax