My girl is moving into halls sharing a kitchen/flat with 7 boys.

[ForkTines]

I thought there would be a mix? She’s studying engineering. They’ve matched her with her course which is mainly male. She’s moving in on Saturday. How do I help her find some female friends without sticking my nose in? She went to an all girls grammar school, so this will be a trial by fire.

What a weird thing to say

She will find female friends you dont only become friends with those you live with. Encourage her to go to Freshers Events and see if any clubs/societies interest her then leave her to it.

That’s grim

Freshers week. Societies. Socials. She needs to get out and about!

Really unhelpful

Bizarre first comment. I was with only one other female and we never slept with the boys in our flat!

When I was at uni I made friends with people in the neighbouring flats. That will probably be the easiest in the early days as many will have the doors open whilst they get ready to go out for freshers.

She is an adult. She doesn’t need your help.

I made one (platonic male) friend in halls, the rest were doing drugs on nights out which was not my scene at all!! Most friends I made on my course during group work etc. She'll be okay in sure. I take it she has an ensuite room?

She will be fine, as others have said suggest she looks at societies where she can meet other friends. It may well be nice for her to be the token girl in the group, my DSS had the opposite last year he was the only boy living with a group of 8 girls in his first year, this year he's living with 50/50 boys and girls from friends he met on the course.

She can ask to move or swap if it s not working out after a week or so

Some weird. Comments here. I’ve shared with boys before and if anything you end up with a brotherly-sisterly vibe.

It could be fab. Tell her not to be the default cleaner though. She’ll make lots of other friends so she won’t be short of girls.

Hopefully she’ll meet other young women on her course. Is she ok about this? Has she expressed any really anxious feelings about sharing her home with these men?

My daughter was put in an all male flat at first she called the uni and they swapped her into a mixed flat.

She'll absolutely find women to be friends with too regardless, but she may find that as the men on her course share her interests and that she also really gets on with them. I ended up living with four male friends in my second year of university because we all bonded over our STEM subject and similar personalities/interests. In hindsight, it was so great because I always had a man walking me home from nightclubs or hanging out with me at parties, which should not be a thing to consider but sadly does often keep you safer.

Urrrrrgh!! You're talking about someone's daughter with your grim comments, not appropriate at all.

If she has a head for engineering she sounds like a sensible girl who will get on just fine, I'm sure she will make some friendships outside of her flat and hopefully they are a good group of lads in any case.

I guess you know her best, and will ultimately depend on the guys. However you'd like to hope all will be well!! I lived with 6 boys at uni. It was like having 6 brothers! What's her opinion on it?

Negatives: the place was an absolute pig sty. Really very grim. Also remember the first night...they all looked at me when it was dinner time like I was going to suddenly morph into their mother and cook something. Not the best. Also I was the wingwoman constantly. So many women making friends with me to get in with the lads.

Positives: felt like I had my own personal bodyguards everywhere I went and noone raided my chocolate stash. We lived in rather a rough part of town so there was something in that.

I made friends with others from our floor and then people on my course/in other halls. It all works out :) and if not then it's usually not hard to transfer after the first few weeks. People drop out etc. she might even have met people who have a spare room. Hard to predict!

OP she should be fine

She's an adult, don't be scaremongering her

I studied physics and would have hated this. I was in mixed halls with a female language student roommate. It’s ok being in a 80%+ male environment all day on the course, I needed non-physics roommates. Honestly I’d ask to swap.

The people saying she'll be fine, how could you possibly know. There are 7 unknown males who will have access to her. I shared with males at uni but only friends I knew, not in the first year. I'd insist she be moved tbh.

Give it a week or two and if she's not happy get her to put in for a move. I always wonder what on earth universities are thinking when the stick one girl in with all boys. My floor were really close when i was at uni, I would have hated not to have some girls to make friends with.

Yep this. She can absolutely move. There will be a student accommodation services or similar. See how she feels after a week or so.

And yes, assume she has her own bathroom? If not it’s a definite move situation surely 🤢

*if she’s unhappy about it (I would be), she should go to change asap

How does she feel about it?