My girl is moving into halls sharing a kitchen/flat with 7 boys.

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I thought there would be a mix? She’s studying engineering. They’ve matched her with her course which is mainly male. She’s moving in on Saturday. How do I help her find some female friends without sticking my nose in? She went to an all girls grammar school, so this will be a trial by fire.

Agree with this. Very surprised that the university has done this actually.

A friend of mine was in a flat like this... (it's not UoM is it?)

Anyway there was frequently vomit and sometimes poo in the shower. I had 3 naked boys covered in glitter (and maybe vomit or food) in the shared living space. That was just 3 boys. 3 boys was enough.

Please OP just read a few uni forums on student room you will be traumatised.

I wouldn't be happy with her sharing one bathroom with 7 boys at all. Chances are it will be gross.

It’s a bit tough being the only female, but she’ll likely be in the minority on her course as well.
Theyre all young engineering students so I imagine smart and sensible. The university will have support available for her if she needs anything or has concerns. To be honest, I think this is probably a better outcome than a load of girls on a different course, because at least they have their studies in common.

Dear god. It's 2024 and the girl takes on the role of kitchen cleaning.
How are we raising our young people??

Really odd to group by course. Usually it’s mixed courses in halls then you can make friends on your course and in halls too.

I thought that it was fine until I saw the one bathroom.

Even if she’s ok with it what are the uni playing at!! Is she able to say if she’s unhappy once there or do you think that she would keep it to herself?

Yeah, I’d be concerned she would be stuck with the cleaning.

My main worry would be that they will expect her to be cleaner, cook and bottle washer! Hope she is strong enough to kick back on that.

Don't date any of the flatmates. Don't take on more than her share of cooking or cleaning. Apart from that, look for other girl friends particularly in Freshers Week when everybody wants to meet lots of people. I imagine her flatmates will be quite protective of her and sharing with 7 males may give her more toilet time than 7 females. Finally, look for a swap if it's not working for her.

Agree. I work in a uni. I wouldn't want my daughter in that situation.

She wears full-length pyjamas,

Maybe a burka? 😠

My only issue would be the shared bathroom. Boys are rank and piss everywhere especially when drunk.
Can she fit a portable loo into her room until she trains the boys?

I'd ask for her to be moved too.
Saying that ds1 shares in Notts for yr 3 and has chosen to live with 4 girls, and 1 other boy.

Hopefully she won't be too nice and do any cleaning up in the kitchen !

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/education/education-news/sexual-assault-domestic-abuse-universities-b1971254.html

Wtf??

I would definitely ask to be moved. That doesn't seem right, I think it must be an oversight.
I got moved after my first week at uni, due to health reasons that meant the first flat I was in didn't suit.

İf she is not is worried then I wouldn't worry either. They all do a course you have to be pretty sensible and smart for. She could swap and end up with a mixed sex, party group doing less intense courses who she might not gel with so well with. Less bitching and drama with guys as well, generally :)

What a vile comment

Tell her if she decides she isn't ok with the living situation you're happy to help her figure out who to speak to about moving. Then unless she explicitly asks for help, you don't need to do anything except listen and tell her you're proud of her. Don't ask repeatedly about if she's making friends or other leading questions.

I’m not going to lie - I’m more worried than I was when I started this.

Onwards though - she’s not been around teenage boys that she’s not related to since year 7. What can I say or suggest on how to find her girl tribe when her course and home are dominated by boys? Blokes are lovely, but I don’t know how to suggest she finds female friends that aren’t in her daily circle. I don’t know how uni works.

Get her to move.
Honestly that's not right & I speak as a mum of 2 boys & 2 girls.
The condom comment is absolutely vile & should be removed.

There were 6 females in a class of 120 reading chemistry when I went to uni. We were in mixed halls - we had 4 older foreign students (all male) in our wing. In total, 3 girls and 7 males. We met loads of people on different wings, during freshers week and in the refractory.

I also lecture engineering and the girls and guys all get on.

Your daughter will be fine, I promise.