My girl is moving into halls sharing a kitchen/flat with 7 boys.

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I thought there would be a mix? She’s studying engineering. They’ve matched her with her course which is mainly male. She’s moving in on Saturday. How do I help her find some female friends without sticking my nose in? She went to an all girls grammar school, so this will be a trial by fire.

Your DD may like the boys and get on great with them, though I understand your concerns. But if not, she should remember that freshers are there with no one they know and will be open to making friends so she just needs to be a bit outgoing. Plenty of first years do not get on with their flat mates and end up making lots of friends, so she will most likely do just fine.

I did Civil Engineering when I went to uni and then changed to Maths and Computer Science. The girls on the courses were a very small minority and tended to look out for each other, so she will probably find female friends on the course that way. She could also see if other girls she knows from her school who are going who she could meet up with. Flats next to her may be much more female heavy and very open to her popping in. And societies are a great way of expanding your social group.

How does your DD feel about it OP? If she’s concerned I would contact housing and see if there are alternatives. But also reassure her that there is often a chance to move in the first few weeks as a number of kids will not turn up or drop out early on. She just needs to contact housing and get on the wait lists ASAP.

Encourage her to get them to set up a cleaning rota early on otherwise she'll end up doing it all.

She'll be fine. No female dramas and it'll be like having 7 brothers.

I agree with this. Also her course is so male-heavy she will need a bit of a break from all the boys.

You did mention though that she went to an all girl school and personally I think that prepares you better for managing the boys.

Are you a 12 year old boy?

I think they’ve really not put much effort into that. I wouldn’t have liked that at all and 7:1 is pretty unbalanced especially with communal bathrooms. My halls has single sex units in a mixed hall so there were 12 girls i one unit with shared bathrooms and then next door 12 boys and the warden put a lot of effort into placing people so there were a mix of courses, school types, interests. They deliberately didn’t put people together on the same course.

It’s 8 bedrooms and a shared bathroom and kitchen.

She seems cheerful or at least ambivalent - she’s not worried.

Yeah tbh if it's not en suite I would ask for a change - mixed halls usually had a boys toilet/shower and a girls toilet/shower by mutual agreement!

Only one bathroom?! 😱

What a twatty comment, Yes she is an adult, but she is also somebody's daughter who is possibly going out in the big wide world on their own for the first time.

You either don't have children or you think it's hilarious to pretend you don't have any concern for your children. Or maybe you have no compassion and are dead inside?

8 bedrooms and one bathroom ???? No way would I or my DDs share a bathroom with 7 men we knew, never mind 7 strangers. That is grim in the extreme.
Can you see teenage lads cleaning the toilet and shower after they use it? 🤢

I’d get her to ask for a move to a mixed flat before you move her in. Mines just started and is in a large mixed flat and they are all off out together.

Harsh. No-one ever helped you with anything form the day you turned 18??

I was in a flat in hall with six other girls. All the flats were single sex. Individual bedrooms, with shared bathroom, loos and kitchen per flat. What we were studying was irrelevant - our flat included students doing English literature, medicine, psychology, geography and maths. I and more importantly my parents would have been appalled to think I'd be in a mixed flat.

“Access to her”? That’s the creepiest thing I’ve heard.

alternatively they could be perfectly lovely 18 year olds who are just as nervous of making new friends as she is.

My daughter was the only girl with six guys in the flat last year. She was absolutely fine, got on with them alright apart from they tended to be bit messier so she took on the role of kitchen cleaner but it's made her alot tidier at home now as she appreciates what it's like cleaning up after others.

Mixed flat is one thing but I don't think 7:1 ratio without en suite is acceptable.
The level of misogyny and sexual assault in universities is really quite scary

I have to be honest I dont recall anyone’s parents helping them beyond carrying luggage to their room when I started university.

Why are we babying adults these days so much?

Madness.

It’s probably 2 toilets/showers for 8. Mines in a 12 person flat in halls with 3 toilets, 2 showers and 1 bath.

This. I did an engineering degree, it was me and 40 lads 😅 she will be fine.

Yes, this is great advice! There are so many clubs, socials and enrichment activities for her to go to, and in Freshers week everyone will be in the same boat. Most of my uni friends were neither my housemates or on my course.

Hello OP, my DD is going into her 4th year of engineering. She is a sensible, get-on-with-it type of girl. She is also sports mad, gets on really well with all the boys on her course and is not at all precious. She shared an evenly mixed flat of 12 in her first year. She really appreciated having girls in her flat because she was, and still is definitely in the minority on her course. Four boys to every one girl.
I do think the accommodation office have got this wrong-and asking to be moved on the basis of a more even balance is certainly a reasonable request. I would be concerned about the culture in that flat and particularly about the fact that she has no en-suite. Not a chance would I share a bathroom with 7 men.