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My dad is ill and I don’t know what to do

494 replies

SadGirlAutumn · 07/09/2024 14:50

I live in Scotland for work and my parents live in Cornwall.

Two weeks ago my dad had a bit of an upset stomach. My mum brushed it off as nothing serious and bought him some Immodium. After 3 or 4 days, I called her to check how he was, he was still poorly so I asked if she'd rung the doctors. She said no.

About a week in, I said again, she should ring the doctors. Immodium was doing nothing. She said no, again, that it would work itself out.

After 10 days, she called the doctors who said he should have flat coke, some Immodium and it'll go away. He has done some tests at the doctors and they've basically shrugged, said it's not E-Coli. and to keep doing what he's doing. They said if it's anything, it's gastroenteritis but that makes 0 sense as my mum hasn't caught it.

It didn't so I came home last night to try and help out.

My dad hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. He's lost 40 pounds. Water makes him sick. He is going to the toilet at least 10 times an hour. The doctors don't want anything to do with him. He's being sick, nothing is coming up anymore because his system is totally empty. He can barely keep his eyes open. 111 has sent a doctor but it's "low priority" and they don't know what time they'll be here. He won't get in the car to go to hospital and between me and my mum we can't get him down, 111 said not to call 999 as he's already in the system.

I'm only 25. I'm so scared. I don’t know what I can do. He can't keep anything down and nobody wants to help us.

OP posts:
LifeExperience · 07/09/2024 14:54

I would take him to A&E right now. Severe dehydration is a life threatening emergency. My husband had it a few weeks ago and had to be admitted in order to be stabilized.

Pinkypinkyplonk · 07/09/2024 14:54

Have you got any friends or neighbours who can help you get him to hospital?

Negus · 07/09/2024 14:55

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SadGirlAutumn · 07/09/2024 14:55

He won't get out of bed and he's too heavy for us to lift, we're both 5 foot nothing and have no body strength. All our neighbours are elderly and friends all hours away. I don’t know what to do, 111 said we aren't to ring 999 as it's not an emergency 😞

OP posts:
MiddleagedBeachbum · 07/09/2024 14:56

I’d lie to my dad and say 111 said to go to A&E straight away.
or ring 999. Ignore them telling you not to.

HappyDane · 07/09/2024 14:56

You do not need to listen to 111. It absolutely is an emergency now. Call 999 and get him an ambulance.

DiscoinFrisco · 07/09/2024 14:56

Definitely ring 999

SadGirlAutumn · 07/09/2024 14:57

HappyDane · 07/09/2024 14:56

You do not need to listen to 111. It absolutely is an emergency now. Call 999 and get him an ambulance.

They said if we called it isn't an emergency and it would be 12+ hours, that if we call we're wasting resources on a busy day for them etc

OP posts:
SadGirlAutumn · 07/09/2024 14:58

MiddleagedBeachbum · 07/09/2024 14:56

I’d lie to my dad and say 111 said to go to A&E straight away.
or ring 999. Ignore them telling you not to.

If the paramedic/doctors car isn't here in half an hour I will, but 111 said there's no way this would be treated as an emergency and that we would be wasting their time

OP posts:
EG94 · 07/09/2024 14:58

SadGirlAutumn · 07/09/2024 14:57

They said if we called it isn't an emergency and it would be 12+ hours, that if we call we're wasting resources on a busy day for them etc

Fuck them! If he dies, sorry to be blunt, will you wish you called 999? If the answer is yes call them now!

CreationNat1on · 07/09/2024 14:58

Call the firebrigade or police. Call any other family member you have. Call any old friends that can help get him out of bed and into the car.

Bristolnewcomer · 07/09/2024 14:59

I would probably call 999 and say he’s falling unconscious and is totally dehydrated and you’re worried he’s dying. Cornwall ambulance waits are notoriously bad but hopefully they’ll get someone to you.

Icanthinkformyselfthanks · 07/09/2024 15:00

Don’t bloody listen to the twit at 111 who told you not to call for an ambulance and ring 999 NOW! Right now please. X

Justasmallgless · 07/09/2024 15:01

Get him to a hospital now
If he can't keep his eyes open this is serious.
Is there no way he will get in the car himself with help??

SadGirlAutumn · 07/09/2024 15:01

He won't let me in the room with him, I'm so worried his gagging is going to burst his aortic aneurysm or something awful, nobody is listening to us

OP posts:
MissMoneyFairy · 07/09/2024 15:01

Call 999, he sounds very poorly and needs seeing, 111 cannot tell you this is a low priority and not to call an ambulance,

SadGirlAutumn · 07/09/2024 15:01

Justasmallgless · 07/09/2024 15:01

Get him to a hospital now
If he can't keep his eyes open this is serious.
Is there no way he will get in the car himself with help??

He's refusing, says it can't be that bad because the doctor said it's just a stomach flu

OP posts:
Bristolnewcomer · 07/09/2024 15:02

And sorry but 111 operators aren’t God, they’re a mixed bag but you’re the one there and you can see how ill he is. Much less serious but I had incredibly bad food poisoning once and kept fainting as like your dad couldn’t drink water. Only my friend banging on and on to 111 eventually led to me getting some anti sickness meds. As others have said you need to be th e loudest person for your dad. I really hope he gets the help he needs and feels better soon x

HappyDane · 07/09/2024 15:02

You are not wasting resources. The care has been paid for on your dad's behalf and he has just as much of a right to be seen as anyone else.

This is where you need to be prepared to do what's right for your dad and fuck what everyone else says.

111 is not your boss.

Hugs.

Ilikewinter · 07/09/2024 15:06

SadGirlAutumn · 07/09/2024 15:01

He's refusing, says it can't be that bad because the doctor said it's just a stomach flu

What if you tell your dad the doctor has called and said he must got to A&E, would that encourage him to go?

Changeiscomingthisyear · 07/09/2024 15:09

You’re struggling to keep him conscious. You need to rong 999 and tell them this. When my Mum was like this they made her CAT 1 priority (she also had slow breathing). The ambulance was with me before I had finished the call.

SadGirlAutumn · 07/09/2024 15:10

Ilikewinter · 07/09/2024 15:06

What if you tell your dad the doctor has called and said he must got to A&E, would that encourage him to go?

No, he's convinced it's just a stomach flu and it's not a big deal

OP posts:
Normallynumb · 07/09/2024 15:11

Ignore everything you've been told
Ring 999 and say he's now unconscious and has history or Aortic Aneurysm
I don't want to scare you but it could be about to rupture
They will send an air ambulance for this
It really is serious.

SadGirlAutumn · 07/09/2024 15:12

Changeiscomingthisyear · 07/09/2024 15:09

You’re struggling to keep him conscious. You need to rong 999 and tell them this. When my Mum was like this they made her CAT 1 priority (she also had slow breathing). The ambulance was with me before I had finished the call.

We called and they said it's not an emergency. Feel really fucking lost because he is so unwell but everyone is turning us away, short of pushing him down the stairs to the car I don’t know what I can do, we're ringing everyone we can to try and get someone here to help

OP posts:
Negus · 07/09/2024 15:14

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