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My dad is ill and I don’t know what to do

494 replies

SadGirlAutumn · 07/09/2024 14:50

I live in Scotland for work and my parents live in Cornwall.

Two weeks ago my dad had a bit of an upset stomach. My mum brushed it off as nothing serious and bought him some Immodium. After 3 or 4 days, I called her to check how he was, he was still poorly so I asked if she'd rung the doctors. She said no.

About a week in, I said again, she should ring the doctors. Immodium was doing nothing. She said no, again, that it would work itself out.

After 10 days, she called the doctors who said he should have flat coke, some Immodium and it'll go away. He has done some tests at the doctors and they've basically shrugged, said it's not E-Coli. and to keep doing what he's doing. They said if it's anything, it's gastroenteritis but that makes 0 sense as my mum hasn't caught it.

It didn't so I came home last night to try and help out.

My dad hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. He's lost 40 pounds. Water makes him sick. He is going to the toilet at least 10 times an hour. The doctors don't want anything to do with him. He's being sick, nothing is coming up anymore because his system is totally empty. He can barely keep his eyes open. 111 has sent a doctor but it's "low priority" and they don't know what time they'll be here. He won't get in the car to go to hospital and between me and my mum we can't get him down, 111 said not to call 999 as he's already in the system.

I'm only 25. I'm so scared. I don’t know what I can do. He can't keep anything down and nobody wants to help us.

OP posts:
BMW6 · 07/09/2024 15:14

How's his breathing? Colour? Heartbeat?

SadGirlAutumn · 07/09/2024 15:14

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

I really don't know :(

OP posts:
SadGirlAutumn · 07/09/2024 15:15

BMW6 · 07/09/2024 15:14

How's his breathing? Colour? Heartbeat?

His colour is okay, heartbeat and breathing seem okay right now but he was slightly short of breath last night, hard to tell if that's some sort of infection or panicking (he has had panic attacks before)

OP posts:
BMW6 · 07/09/2024 15:17

Good. What happens if he sips water? Does he throw it straight back up?

HappyDane · 07/09/2024 15:17

Did you ring 999 or just 111?

SadGirlAutumn · 07/09/2024 15:17

BMW6 · 07/09/2024 15:17

Good. What happens if he sips water? Does he throw it straight back up?

Everything sits in him for a while before it comes out one end or the other, must be about 3/4 minutes if he's throwing up or 5-10 if he has to use the toilet

OP posts:
SadGirlAutumn · 07/09/2024 15:18

HappyDane · 07/09/2024 15:17

Did you ring 999 or just 111?

999 this time, they said it's not an emergency and it doesn't warrant an ambulance

OP posts:
stayathomegardener · 07/09/2024 15:20

I think Covid has been like this for a few recently.

Do you have an oxygen finger monitor and a blood pressure device?
You can buy both a big chemist's.

I'd be keeping a very close eye and continuing to try and get him into hospital if you can.

CrazyCatsandIcecream · 07/09/2024 15:21

Oh, just seen the update, pleased they have sent an ambulance finally.

SadGirlAutumn · 07/09/2024 15:21

stayathomegardener · 07/09/2024 15:20

I think Covid has been like this for a few recently.

Do you have an oxygen finger monitor and a blood pressure device?
You can buy both a big chemist's.

I'd be keeping a very close eye and continuing to try and get him into hospital if you can.

His BP is low, oxygen & heart rate are fine, the paramedic has just arrived so I'm hoping they can do something to help

OP posts:
BMW6 · 07/09/2024 15:21

So has he had this (unable to keep any fluids in) for 2 weeks?

Not eating solids for so long isn't a big problem - it's dehydration that is most alarming.

MouseMama · 07/09/2024 15:22

Can you pay for a private ambulance to take him to hospital as presumably the staff would be able to carry him out of bed?

SadGirlAutumn · 07/09/2024 15:22

BMW6 · 07/09/2024 15:21

So has he had this (unable to keep any fluids in) for 2 weeks?

Not eating solids for so long isn't a big problem - it's dehydration that is most alarming.

It's got a lot worse recently, but it's not been good this entire time.

111 have sent a full on ambulance so hopefully he gets the help

OP posts:
BMW6 · 07/09/2024 15:22

Where did the Paramedic pop up from?

ReadingWorm · 07/09/2024 15:22

I’m glad the paramedic has arrived. I hope he gets the help he needs.

Thinking of you all Flowers

Helloworld56 · 07/09/2024 15:23

I hope he is seen very soon.

HappyDane · 07/09/2024 15:24

😔😔

Is there a male in the family or alternatively a friend/former colleague that your dad might listen tomon going in and getting seen?

Oh I've just seen the paramedic has arrived. Hope they give him a proper examination. Good luck. Make sure you challenge everything, ask as many questions as you can and make it clear you won't be fobbed off.

Mummyexpat · 07/09/2024 15:26

Make sure you listen to what he tells the crew so he doesn’t minimise things… If you have a recent pic to illustrate the weight loss show them that too. I know it’s hard but please try to stay calm and concise. Big hugs to you. X

Nobodywouldknow · 07/09/2024 15:26

something similar happened to a relative of mine. It turned out to be diverticulitis which can be very dangerous. Go and knock on some more doors further down - they can’t all be elderly. There will be someone somewhere who can help get him into the car - post on the local Facebook group if need be - someone will help you. Also even if the ambulance is 12+ hours call for it now as it’s better than not calling at all.

BettyBardMacDonald · 07/09/2024 15:27

I feel so bad for you. Hope things take a turn for the better.

EI12 · 07/09/2024 15:27

Immediately A&E, straight away. Please.

Nobodywouldknow · 07/09/2024 15:28

I’m pleased the ambulance arrived. Push for a hospital admission. Does he have a fever?

Mustreadabook · 07/09/2024 15:30

111 are just following a script, they are call handlers not medical professionals. It is also not easy to diagnose someone without seeing them.
For example 111 and my GP both said not to bother taking my son with a wrist injury to hospital. When I did after a week the first person to actually examine him found it was broken and needed an operation.

MiddleSock · 07/09/2024 15:40

The ambulance will take him in. There’s no way they won’t take someone in in that state for at least bloods and IV fluids as a minimum. They just won’t leave him at home. Well done on getting him help.

SadGirlAutumn · 07/09/2024 15:42

He's being taken in.

Just found out he has a "personal" lump, it might be a hernia but of course my mind has gone to the worst possible place. My mum is following him in so I'm not really sure what to do with myself - the paramedics said it's not worth me going over as well as they're likely to do tests and admit him, which would mean I'm not allowed to visit

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