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Original poster

Friend very angry that I’m on Mounjaro

258 replies

Sawingwood · 30/07/2024 16:47

My friend is tall and willowy, never has to watch what she eats. She prides herself on being slim and the ability wear whatever she likes (tight catsuits, very short skirts etc).
Im the opposite. Short and dumpy, size 18. Desperately needing to turn the hunger button off I’ve resorted to ordering Mounjaro after a lot of reading around the subject.
Friend has hit the roof! Says that it’s cheating and a quick fix and it won’t stay off. That I should eat healthier and exercise more and that’s why I’m fat. Yes, it probably is but I don’t have her genetics either. Says she thinks it’s disgusting that people are using this quick fix etc. On and on. I’m a bit shocked and sad to be honest.
I don’t want to think Ill of her but I wonder if she’s actually worried I’ll be slim myself one day so she won’t be the slim one of the two. Anyone else had this? Don’t know what to do going forward!

OP posts:
DeeCeeCherry · 30/07/2024 16:51

I wonder if she’s actually worried I’ll be slim myself one day so she won’t be the slim one of the two

Of course it's that. She'll either stay friends with you so she can constantly criticise you, or she'll dump you. It's up to you which you prefer.

You speak of her as if you're in awe of her because she's slim and can wear what she wants. Imbalanced friendships with adulation in the mix never turn out well, there's fault on both sides.

Hangingupnow · 30/07/2024 16:55

Is it genetics though? I can imagine if someone watches what they eat like a hawk or exercises all the time they may feel annoyed. I eat a lot and the people who normally comment on it where the ones who were very restrictive.

SilenceInside · 30/07/2024 16:55

She sounds like she's got some serious hang ups about weight, and views it as a moral issue where she is judgemental of those who aren't as slim as her.

Disappointing to discover that she is less of a friend than you thought she was. I'd back off a bit and see how she responds to you during your weight loss journey.

loropianalover · 30/07/2024 16:59

She doesn’t want you to be skinny! People often don’t believe this trope unless they’ve been through it, but it definitely happens.

It would be fine if she was concerned or worried or just wanted to make sure you’d thought it all through but no… she’s just declaring that you’re a cheat and it won’t stay off anyway. She’s trying to have you fail before you’ve even started.

Let her off to be angry, concentrate on yourself. I hope you have great success with Mounjaro. I’d get slim and then text her a picture of some gorgeous new clothes saying that she can borrow whenever she likes!

TemuSpecialBuy · 30/07/2024 16:59

a friend might be angry / concerned you are doing long term damage to your health

a “friend” is angry / annoyed you are cheating and using a quick fix.
🧐

Hattie48 · 30/07/2024 17:01

I had a few “friends” who were very disappointed when I lost weight. One called me haggard (I really wasn’t!) and one said I looked worryingly vulnerable (I had gone for a size 16 to 10) so not exactly wasted away.

Funnerler · 30/07/2024 17:05

My SIL openly admitted she crash dieted after her best friend was hospitalised and lost weight due to extreme water/fluid retention and was almost unrecognisable in just a few days. That was the push the friend needed to lose weight and my SIL said she did not want to be fatter than her friend. At least she was honest about it. Your friend doesn't sound like she wants you thinner.

WorkingForCunard · 30/07/2024 17:05

Currently on a thread about a similar topic, some people seem to believe that those who are fat should suffer and be punished for the crime they are committing.
I think they have a superiority complex that tells them they are doing things right and that fat people just aren’t trying hard enough, which means they are stupid and lazy - very unlike their perfect selves.

It’s not cheating, it’s using something to help a very difficult situation that may not change otherwise.

ImNotThereAmI · 30/07/2024 17:07

Given that you say she never watches what she eats, I’d say yes as others have said, that she wants you to stay as you are. However I can quite see how someone would be annoyed at others taking diet pills etc if they themselves excercise a lot and watch what they eat all the time. They put in the hard work to stay slim and someone else takes an easier route. I can see that would be annoying. Still nothing to do with them, but annoying nonetheless

toomanytonotice · 30/07/2024 17:08

Willing to bet she isn’t “naturally” slim, and has a tight hold on her eating and exercise.

if she’s working hard at being “naturally” slim, I can understand why she might be annoyed initially.

i work fucking hard at my weight. If I could take mounjaro and make it easier, I would.

littlebitfat · 30/07/2024 17:14

I don't think anyone has a right to be annoyed at someone else's choices that don't affect them, even if they work hard at being slim.

Lampzade · 30/07/2024 17:16

Your friend is slim and there is currency in being slim. These weight loss injections have meant that those who have had weight problems are now able to slim down and so the slim friend is no longer an anomaly .
People are obsessed with the weight of others.
I have always been relatively slim, but lost weight recently because I had covid. I have been asked if I was taking the weight loss injections.
Op, ignore your friend and order the weight loss injection
I can now understand why people keep it a secret when they decide to take these drugs

Ailbhe123 · 30/07/2024 17:16

She's jealous. Tell her to f of..I'm on Ozempic two years and haven't told anybody, only my DH. It's nobody's business and everybody has an opinion.

Blackcats7 · 30/07/2024 17:16

Not much of a friend really. No matter what her opinion might be on mounjaro this is horrible.

Kolom · 30/07/2024 17:19

Don’t know what to do going forward!
id start to distance myself tbh, she’s not much of a friend kicking off like that.

ObsidianTree · 30/07/2024 17:19

Says she thinks it’s disgusting that people are using this quick fix etc.

I think it's disgusting that she's never experienced what it's like to struggle with her weight. She's incredibly privileged to never have experienced that.

It's none of her business what you do. The mistake you made was telling her. Ignore her from now on and you do you. If your friendship suffers because of it, then she's not your friend.

Come join the weight loss jab board for support and a community ☺️

Shortpoet · 30/07/2024 17:19

Mounjaro doesn’t just help with willpower. It is being shown to have an effect at reversing insulin resistance (improves insulin sensitivity) over time.

It’s like some people think that overweight people never try exercise and watching what they eat to lose weight. It helps your body chemistry.

I didn’t begrudge my friend when he took medication to stop smoking after many years of failed attempts. I was proud of him for tackling a problem. I never thought for a moment the stop smoking meds were cheating.

Weight is so bound up with “moral failing” for being greedy. People get really weird about it. Especially when you’ve been “the fat one”.

babycalf · 30/07/2024 17:23

DeeCeeCherry · 30/07/2024 16:51

I wonder if she’s actually worried I’ll be slim myself one day so she won’t be the slim one of the two

Of course it's that. She'll either stay friends with you so she can constantly criticise you, or she'll dump you. It's up to you which you prefer.

You speak of her as if you're in awe of her because she's slim and can wear what she wants. Imbalanced friendships with adulation in the mix never turn out well, there's fault on both sides.

This exactly.

Coconutter24 · 30/07/2024 17:26

It’s your body and completely your choice. However I do get the part about it being a quick fix. Do you exercise and eat healthy?

Differentstarts · 30/07/2024 17:26

Iv recently lost 3 stone and people hate it. Your doing nothing wrong good luck on your journey

JellyBabiesSaveLives · 30/07/2024 17:27

Weight loss isn't a game, or a punishment, or a relationship, so you can't "cheat". And what on earth is wrong with a "quick fix"? Who does unpleasant things slowly if they can do them quickly?
If your friend is secretly working hard to stay slim then she's envious, and should keep it to herself. If she really is naturally slim, then her self-esteem is to bound up in being the slim one and she can't cope if you are too. Either way, time for new friends!

BrokenWing · 30/07/2024 17:30

I told my friend I had ordered it, she was curious to my motivation, concerned about the dramatic negative media coverage, saddened by the challenges I was facing and putting a brave face on, supportive of my journey ahead and I know she will cheer me on if it is successful or support me if not.

Doesn't matter what her motives are for what she said, doesn't matter it is related to MJ. You simply need a better friend.

Summersad · 30/07/2024 17:30

Yep. She’s scared you’ll be the slim one and she won’t get all the attention. I’d be using this as my motivation! You do you, girl

ImNotThereAmI · 30/07/2024 17:33

ImNotThereAmI · 30/07/2024 17:07

Given that you say she never watches what she eats, I’d say yes as others have said, that she wants you to stay as you are. However I can quite see how someone would be annoyed at others taking diet pills etc if they themselves excercise a lot and watch what they eat all the time. They put in the hard work to stay slim and someone else takes an easier route. I can see that would be annoying. Still nothing to do with them, but annoying nonetheless

Quoting myself to clarify. I don’t mean that she has any right to be annoyed at you, that’s not ok, you’re not doing anything wrong by taking the meds. I just meant that someone working really hard on staying slim their whole life, and then a new wonder drug comes out which overweight people can take, to be slim like that person, could feel annoying to them. Like they’d missed out on that easy win because they’d been putting in the hard work, when someone who they didn’t think had put in any hard work, gets an easy option. Which isn’t logical of course, as their health would have benefited from their hard work so they’ve done the right thing and will reap the benefits. And of course it’s none of their business. Just trying to explain how someone could find it annoying. I’ve no skin in this game by the way, I don’t work hard to stay slim, and I’m not very slim!

ShouldhavebeencalledAppollo · 30/07/2024 17:33

I think her reaction is a bit odd.

But she isn’t wrong that chances are that many people on these jabs will put it back on. Because they don’t address the actual reasons. But that doesn’t mean it’s wrong to try it.

She is being dismissive of the struggle. I am fat. I know it’s hard. You know it’s hard.

However, you are dismissive of her as well. It’s not genetics. She eats around the maintenance calories for her body. You (and I) don’t. We eat too many.

If she has been a good friend, wouldn’t you assume she reacted badly but genuinely has your best interests at heart?

If she isn’t, don’t be friends with her