Friend very angry that I’m on Mounjaro

[Sawingwood]

My friend is tall and willowy, never has to watch what she eats. She prides herself on being slim and the ability wear whatever she likes (tight catsuits, very short skirts etc).
Im the opposite. Short and dumpy, size 18. Desperately needing to turn the hunger button off I’ve resorted to ordering Mounjaro after a lot of reading around the subject.
Friend has hit the roof! Says that it’s cheating and a quick fix and it won’t stay off. That I should eat healthier and exercise more and that’s why I’m fat. Yes, it probably is but I don’t have her genetics either. Says she thinks it’s disgusting that people are using this quick fix etc. On and on. I’m a bit shocked and sad to be honest.
I don’t want to think Ill of her but I wonder if she’s actually worried I’ll be slim myself one day so she won’t be the slim one of the two. Anyone else had this? Don’t know what to do going forward!

Your 'friend's' reaction is weird, visceral, unpleasant and should be discarded!!! I am small but would never comment on peoples' weight. I do get peeved when people mention mine because it's usually coupled with a veiled reference to eating habits. I don't even own a set of scales.

I work in genetics. Everything we are is affected by our genetics. There's an interaction with the environment too, but how one person responds to the same environment will be different to another's based on their genetics. Genes produce every hormone and protein our bodies need to function, and these will drive our behaviours. So our weight/metabolism very much has a genetic element actually.
Your friend sounds horribly judgemental. What does it matter to her whether you have to go through the difficulty of weighlos? Being overweight and all the bad feelings it brings a person is punishment enough. Not that we need punishing.

I once lost a significant amount of weight. I was at a dinner with some very slim friends where they were congratulating me on the weight loss, and one of them noted I had very good skin. At which point another said to all the others and not me, "that's one thing we'll have to contend with ladies. Having been slim all our lives, our skin won't look so good when we're older". Right there she made me feel separate from them, different to them, and the message was I only have nice skin because I was fat. I was totally shocked at the nastiness.

People are so judgemental of others with weight issues. Overweight people aren't necessarily bad people. Tell your friend you'd rather be overweight than judgemental like she is.

Being a doctor really isn't the golden ticket you think it is, especially if you're a GP. I am far more knowledgeable and informed about menopause and HRT than any of the several GPs I have discussed them with. By definition, GPs only know a little about a lot.

I was on ozempic. Best decision. Always been tall and broad but wide! Lockdown sent my weight up whilst my close friend joined the CrossFit cult got really into the gym

she was sooo angry at me when I went on ozempic. I was very open. I used to love the gym but injured my knee and it’s made it very hard. She Accused me of cheating my weight loss. In reality it’s her problem, as I assume is your friends too. My friend always talks about weight etc etc and I just cba for it anymore. She has hang ups and I’m sure your friend does too. Ignore her

Oprah Winfrey had an hour long special on American tv that highlighted what happened when people took these weight loss medications. They explained it as a sudden trigger that stopped their obsessions with food. They no longer woke up wanting to eat, planning their entire day around food, and when they would get more. Naturally thin people don't have that obsession. Your friend might learn something if she saw this. It opened my eyes as I'm setting here 120 pounds and some days I don't remember to eat. I edited this to note I did not take those meds.

Sone friend

If I had a friend taking it, I’d be far more worried about them compromising their health when there’s no data on medium / long term effects. Such a massive gamble with your health.

It’s not an easier route
you still have to put the effort and work into losing the weight
it’s not a magic wand

This is the only way you can get them in the UK for weight loss only
There are legit pharma sites you can buy it from

I'm not convinced she really does 'eat whatever she likes' and what you see her eating may not be representative of her overall food intake. The way she's reacted to you using a weightloss/appetite suppressant and has referred to it as 'cheating' makes me feel like she actually works very hard and eats very restrictively in order to stay slim.

I'm also not convinced she's actually your friend.

Yes. She wants to be ‘the slim one’

People who are naturally thin get an awful lot of superiority from it. They don't understand that it's not moral superiority or willpower.

It's not personal brilliance that makes it easy to stay thin, it's genetics. They've as good as proved this with research into weight loss.

This idea that its "cheating" shows just how wrong most people's assumptions are.

I'll likely get shot down in flames here by posters ignorant of the science. But please don't be swayed by this nonsensical out-of-date idea that if fat people did more exercise and ate less they'd be thin. It's just victim blaming.

Firstly us fat people are not 'victims' so theres no victim blaming

Secondly, it is just a question of eating less than you burn off, the problem is that your make up can make it harder to feel satiated on certain amounts of food, it is genetics and it is about what you eat

But, in any case, this concept of cheating, as you say about people that use that mentality, is ridiculous. I always ask - cheating who or what?

I do wonder why the people who complain most about those who are “stealing drugs meant for diabetes” are the same naturally slim people who will never need them. I do think it has to be jealousy and I don’t think my view is tainted with bitterness towards slim people, as I’ve been slim all my life, and yes I have worked for it but I I think I’ve had to work for it less than other people.
I believe there is a genetic advantage as it’s much easier to maintain your weight through diet and exercise when you’re already slim. And if our “chubby” friends manage to lose their weight then they might discover this as well.
If there was a drug that helped short people become taller I believe that all the tall people would be against it; and if there was a drug that made people clever all the clever people would probably be against it too.
But back to you OP, what your friend says really shouldn’t deter you from achieving better health and a slimmer figure if that’s what you want for yourself.

Does your mate eat what she likes and not exercise? because I find her reaction strange and maybe she does like to be the skinny one. I have no time to exercise so stick to very low fat meals and eat very little (kcals) per day to stay slim but so what if injections/tablets are an easy option it dont bother me so cant understand why it would bother her

It’s not a quick fix anyway it’s a tool to help calorie count ass its controls hormones and hunger levels . It’s bloody miraculous . I have PCOS and find it so hard to lose weight it’s painful even when calorie counting normally . Since Wegovy lost 2.5 stone but had to exercise and calorie count but it’s easier to do so when your hormones are on your side .All inflammation is down too for first time ever .
anyone who feels angry about it has issues .

She’s not a real friend I’m afraid.
showing her true colours.
its non of her business what you do regarding your weight.
she’s making it her business. Tell her to keep her opinions to herself.
I suspected the friendship will fizzle out if you continue with your desire to lose weight because she won’t be able to handle it.
She is clearly threatened my the prospect of you being slim.
This happens a lot! It makes others very insecure.

This is one reason you don’t over share. You’ve invited opinions by sharing information no one else needs to know about . Use this as a learning experience. Don’t share

now the cat is out of the bag, when your friend brings this up, because you’re not going to bring this up nor your dieting nor your weight loss, if she starts to go on about if, then you ask her why she feels she needs to share this negative opinion with you? Why it bothers her so much that you’re addressing your need to lose weight in a manner which you have needed a doctor consultation for?

or you could dining say, you’d prefer to not discuss your medical history with her anymore as it makes you uncomfortable. Then change the subject. Rinse and repeat.

you know your friend best. Which sports could make her aware she’s overstepping and being a bore?

It’’s odd that she thinks it’s cheating ! It’s not a game to lose weight. My guess is that you hit the nail on the head, that she’s worried you’ll outshine her when you’re as slim as she is . Whatever the reason is, don’t look up to someone like that, she should be supporting you , not berating you , and helping you keep it off once to get to your goal weight . She’s not much of a friend when you have to come on line to understand why she’s doing that ! You go girl, I hope you do well with it :-)
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@Sawingwood - so whilst genetics can and do play a part in people's weight regulation...most of what we are referring to as 'genetics' is actually our microbiome.
The composition of bacteria and microbes in our gut hugely determines the cravings for food that we have - both in quantum and quality. If you are used to a high sugar diet your body craves more sugar as that is what the colonies in your gut want. likewise..high fibre diets which have good diversity of plant food and low sugar will switch that messaging over time. There is a lot of really interesting research out there on this, and as you use MJ i highly recommend thinking about your microbiome as this will likely determine future success.

@Buddysbunda
The flaw in your thinking is that a healthy weight person and overweight person have the same desire to eat the 'bad' food and the healthy person just exhibits better will power/ control in not eating..versus the unhealthy person who will give in.

that is a massive over simplification to the point of being wrong. in addition to our microbiome driving food signals, the effects of distorted hormone responses, increased insulin resistance and dopamine seeking behaviours being wired into our brain chemistry. all play a part.
It is much easier to be healthy from a point of health...turning things around once you are already suffering from the above is really hard. that is why ozempic/mounjaro is such a wonder drug for people as it helps them break from disordered eating patterns and obsessive food thoughts..giving space to focus on healthy practices.

Full disclosure I'm currently taking MJ - but have lost significant weight in the past through diet and exercise alone (and regained it slowly over the years..like most people)

you will just have to believe me when I say I exercise a lot more willpower as an over weight /obese person than I did when significantly slimmer, because the constant urge to eat sugar/crap is constant and so much stronger.

Thanks, that is excellent advice

Okay so I work hard to stay slim (I’m a size 10 and short so not any sort of supermodel!) and to be upbeat I’m finding the amount of people taking this annoying. I’ll get flamed but I don’t care. I don’t think it’s cheating - it’s a valid weight loss tool - but it’s incredible how many friends who’ve done very little to eat healthy over the years are now on this magic tool and lying about it and saying it’s “Pilates” or some such rubbish. Just to clarify most of these ladies were size 14 ish so hardly obese, just too much wine and cake. They could face lost it with bit of effort. I don’t know they are getting it tbh.

Good luck OP though - I do think your friend likes having you as a fat friend which is unkind.

It's interesting how since the jabs have become popular so many slim people now do admit to how hard they have to work at it....

Not many fully grown adults are naturally slim. Certainly not many adult women. I think it’s safe to assume that if you see a slim, toned woman over 30 she probably works at it. Good - people should!! It’s healthy!! It’s not healthy to be overweight. I’m obsessed with biscuits. I literally have to lock them in the garden shed otherwise I’d nail a whole packet. But I take those steps because I want to stay slim. It’s not a bad thing!!!

I agree but people still like to pretend they don't restrict themselves for whatever reason.