Explain an Olympic sport badly

[Mylobsterteapot]

People, alone or with a second human, throw themselves off bouncy and non bouncy slab into water whilst making pretty shapes in the air.

Two people hit each other whilst another person gets close but avoids being hit

Pedal a stick bike round a freshly painted road while wearing a stormtroopers hat and spanx

Pool party with 7 of your mates doing your “routine”.

But still holds hands with them at the end

You ride a skittish animal you haven't ridden before, hit people with a pointy thing, swim, fire a fast tiny ball from a metal thing then run around a course. Love this event!

Brilliant!

You wear a tiny bikini and jump up and down whilst playing with balls.

You get in a form of transport on water but on discovering that it has no engine you find some triangular material and run it up a pole and hope that it is windy.

If the wind changes you dash to the other side of the transport narrowly avoiding being twatted on the head by a horizontal bar.
Sometimes you even need to hang off the transport with most of your body over the water whilst holding ropes.

Sandpit also being free of cat shit is a huge bonus

You don an all in one condom then lie down on your back on your grandma's tea tray and woosh down an icy road.

Several people hold sticks and waggle them at the same time to go where they aren't looking. One person looks where they are going and shouts at the rest.

🤣🤣

Run four different distances, throw three different things and jump three times. And be very good at all of them.

If you win the gold medal, change sex

Run around a lot swapping sticks and see which team drops their stick first.
<clue - it's usually the Americans>

Ride your bike very fast towards the right sort of wall. Reach V1. Rotate. Park bike on top of wall. Do a roly poly on your bike on the way down.
NB don’t try this with your average brick wall

Or lie on your tea tray, on your front, and go down same icy road head first. Exactly in the manner that you were told to “Absolutely DO NOT do that, it’s dangerous!” as a child.

Do an entire school sports day yourself.

Flail your arms simultaneously over your head while pretending to glue your legs together and waggling them, in a very large puddle. This may go on for different distances. Be glad you are not in actual water with actual sharks as this is woefully ineffective as an escape strategy.

Ah, I've just realised - you may need to do a hoppity skip first if you need to check the sandpit for children/cat shit before launching yourself

FadedRed apparently two people can lie on the tea tray one on top of the other now. I can hear the parents shouting NO at their children trying this!

Play "the sideboard is lava" whilst break dancing in midair.

Fulfil your cycling dream. Ride on your own ,as fast as you can, through a city which has been cleared of all traffic, randomly wandering pedestrians, their pesky crossing places and traffic lights.

Fencing maybe

@ErrolTheDragon
Aaah of course one must do the hoppity skip first, thanks Errol, my mistake.