Explain an Olympic sport badly

[Mylobsterteapot]

People, alone or with a second human, throw themselves off bouncy and non bouncy slab into water whilst making pretty shapes in the air.

Climb up a lot of stairs before throwing a wet cloth at your coach. If you miss, you are not allowed to go down the stairs and have to jump off into the swimming pool.

Waft around a huge rubber mat, and jump a few times. Make a big Y shape.

@StripedPiggy

You sit in a boat staring at the back of your mate’s head. She does the same. All of you wave a paddle in the water & try to make it go backwards while a midget with a personality disorder screams abuse at you.

😂😂🤣

Put on enough make up for an 80s theme party and a leotard. Hair in a Croydon facelift. Get your mates to do the same. And then try and dance in time to some music you can't even hear. In water.

Follow someone on an electric bike round and round in circles. Don't overtake that person. Then do overtake that person and pedal like fuck.

I think someone doesn't fully understand fencing. The wire coming out of the back links you to the electrics to record any hits. It isnt elastic and doesnt pull you back in anyway.

I think someone doesn't fully understand fencing.

Or perhaps you don't understand the title of the thread?

(Tbf many of the explanations are excellent not bad)

You get up really early in the morning and start going round the track. Go many, many times, maintaining a pace that makes you look like you have an ants' nest down your pants. If you accidentally break into a run, you are disqualified because that is a different event.

Run like hell down a squashy carpet and find that some idiot has stood a wooden box in your way.

You go for a walk with a mate who is carrying a bag of sticks. Every now and again your mate passes you a stick and you whack a small ball. This you repeat
3, 4 , 5 .... times until the ball disappears into a hole.
Repeat process 18 times.

Jump into a pool and pretend to be a cross between a dolphin and a bird

You’re playing floor is lava by yourself but somebody’s nicked all the furniture

You jump about on a thin plank of wood, wobbling is allowed but not falling off.

You ride your bike indoors, very fast. Although sometimes you ride it very slowly first. And other times you ride behind an old man on a motor scooter for a bit.

You hit another person very hard and hope they will fall down. If they don’t fall down then someone who has not been hit decides which of you hit the other one hardest.

This is a lighthearted thread, not requiring a literal description of the equipment!
Of course I know how fencing works, however ...
It doesn't matter, you've missed the point 🙁

This is a lighthearted thread, not requiring a literal description of the equipment!
Of course I know how fencing works, however ...
It doesn't matter, you've missed the point

As a fencer should, I suppose.

You get hold of a bike that is waaaay too small for you and cycle around a bumpy circle being chased by others on equally small bikes.

You sit in a hollowed out bit of plastic and race down a river that is very rough with dangling sticks that you have to go through even though they don't reach the water.

You pat a bouncy ball a few times then throw it at a huge hairnet tied onto a big stick.

You go for a long walk. Pointless, there is no nice tea room at the end.

And no pub or picnic in the middle either.

You bounce up and down on a large elastic fabric square indoors and dont annoy your ndn.

You go in the swimming pool, with others, there is a football style net at either end, half of you are one end of the pool, the other half are the other end, you wear a very fetching bath hat tied under your chin and then throw a ball around at the nets trying not to drown in the process.

You stand on a rectangle of red dust and use a frying pan to whack a bouncy ball to someone, only for them
to hit it back again. Repeat until one of the random people standing around shouts something that sounds like you’ve hit them in the gonads (this may or may not have actually occurred)

sometimes you can do this with a friend.

You throw something along some ice and your friend tries to brush the ice really quickly.