Explain an Olympic sport badly

[Mylobsterteapot]

People, alone or with a second human, throw themselves off bouncy and non bouncy slab into water whilst making pretty shapes in the air.

Convince your campest male chum to join you in spangly leotards, then twat about on the ice for a bit to a naice tune.

This made me lolol

You launch a UFO

Thank your parents for being rich enough for you to never have to get a proper job…get them to buy you a horse…whip that horse until it does what you want. Go to palace & collect an honour from someone else who’s never had a proper job.
jobs a goodun!

You fire pointy sticks with your twanger so they stick into distant circles.

Throw yourself off a man made cliff.

Take the tallest, strongest men you can find and put them in a boat with their shortest, lightest mate.

Ummmmmmm is this the sex Olympics?

Jump on a beam and then as soon as you’ve got your balance you jump again and keep doing this all the while trying not to wobble, then you dismount and stand still for 2 seconds before walking away. People with cards watch you and score your lack of wobbliness.

Stand on a couple of long thin planks and go down a snowy slope which doesn't go all the way down so you have to fly for a bit before landing the right way up on your planks

Massively fat fuckers bumping into other massively fat fuckers.

You ride a bike round and round in a circle, up walls covered in laminate flooring

Oh have we gone back to talking about the dishy French man who gave a speech at the opening ceremony last night?

Falling with style into water

Not the garden kind, the three musketeers type. Epees, foils and bee-keeper face masks!

You and your gang hit a hard ball with a hooked stick and try and get it into a net. The other gang try and stop you, but they are also trying to get the ball into a net up your end of the field with their sticks. Another person, who isn't in either gang, blows a whistle.

You'll get wet, stay in lane. at the end you pant and look up at big screen.

I put my fencing mate's hat on once. I have never smelled anything worse in my life. Do not take up fencing. You will have stink-face.

You punch somebody really hard in the head.

You sit in a boat staring at the back of your mate’s head. She does the same. All of you wave a paddle in the water & try to make it go backwards while a midget with a personality disorder screams abuse at you.

Rhythmic gymnastics?

Boxing 🥊

stink face!! 🤣🤣

I must have a very sad sense of humour because this has had me sniggering for the past 5 minutes.

I think the word and act of roly polys is missing from our lives. Makes me think of doing PE in my knickers.

You cuddle aggressively with someone while both wearing your pyjamas