Explain an Olympic sport badly

[Mylobsterteapot]

People, alone or with a second human, throw themselves off bouncy and non bouncy slab into water whilst making pretty shapes in the air.

It would make rhythmic gymnastics more interesting. It's like a haberdashery shop robbery!

You put on skin tight onsies and roll around on the floor with a member of the same sex arguing about who gets to go on top.

Mopping the floor with a helper ball

DD's one is acting like a monkey (gymnastics).

You pretend to be a 19th century soldier escaping from the enemy, entailing various forms of fighting, getting across a lake and stealing a horse.

Run in a straight line for about 10 seconds.

You are a closeted homosexual from an obscure central Asian country. You put on a tiny leotard & oil up. Your opponent does likewise. Then you both roll around on the floor grappling & attempting to demonstrate various sex positions. The most creative demonstration wins.

Run in a line over a series of fences, one of which has a puddle behind it

Summer:
Play tennis very very slowly by making the ball have massive extra air resistance

Winter:
You hurl yourself down a hill with your mates in a curved bit of wood at unsafe speeds.

You throw a ball shaped like an egg around a bit with your mates while avoiding your enemies who are trying to body slam you. Sometimes you get to kick the ball through some stupidly high sticks. If you bleed too much you have to leave to get Vaseline put on your face and tissues stuck up your nose.

You sit in a plastic banana and try to make it move with big spatulas without tipping yourself upside down

I think the word and act of roly polys is missing from our lives. Makes me think of doing PE in my knickers.

Oh absolutely Apolloneuro. Yes memories of doing roly polys in PE wearing school regulation navy blue knickers with my vest tucked into them resurfaced.

Such a perfect description of the rings discipline in gymnastics I shall never be able to watch it again without seeing roly polys.

Take a running jump over your mum’s hanging clothes rail, hopefully without touching it and land on her mattress, which just happens to be strategically placed on the other side.

Variation on the theme - If you’re feeling particularly daring, nick her washing line prop and do the same.

Go very fast in a circle. Sometimes more than one time.

Pick up a metal bar with heavy metal things on each end and hold it above your head without dropping it half way through or falling over backwards.

Use a miniature paddle to hit a small plastic ball over your dinner table with a strategically placed net across it.

Run the same distance as some ancient Greek bloke ran to deliver a message. Do not deliver a message.

Cover yourself in white powder, then try not to get handprints on your own arse. Pick up something really heavy and put it down again. Repeat until you've had enough.

😂

Reenact scenes from Baywatch with a bunch of friends, a beach ball and bit of netting.

Try to grab another person's pyjama sleeves and trip them while not falling over yourself.

Ride your bike in a circle not very quickly, until someone you know catches up. Hold hands with them for a short distance before giving them relief.

Run really fast towards a giant sandpit before launching yourself wholeheartedly into it.

NB. Making sure said sandpit is child free beforehand is considered a bonus 👌

You shout and then drop a thing

Sit on horse, horse twitches as tho it's gonna lose it's shit, you pray it loses its shit quietly and in the right order whilst some music plays.

You stand around a dining table with some Korean people and whack dim sum at each other.