Can I get help this not sure if ds is taking advantage money wise I have included pics/run down

[Helpplease46]

I'm a bit worried ds it taking advantage of me. But I could be wrong.

Ds gets 405.40 a month due to pip. He sent me a screen shot saying I have only paid him 206.60 . He said I need to give him 22.60 daily until he gets pip again on the 2nd Aug. But his screen shot he sent me says money in from the 10th when I started giving him money from the 5th .

Can someone help me work it out. I have hand written the amounts from. The 5th . And also included ds screen shot.

I have learning difficulties so I find this stuff hard and ds is just over talking me and getting very stroppy and boarding on aggressive. So then I can't sort anything out .

He's also getting 58.00 a week of his social worker . Its his money regardless but I don't want to be giving him more money than he should be getting.

I’m really good at baths and bookkeeping. This system would drive me insane. It is set up to fail. Humans make mistakes. This system requires perfect bookkeeping and is a bad idea.

what I would do instead

best option
open a second bank account. That way you can transfer his money freely and you can let the banking app do the tracking. He can also transfer money back if he finds himself with too much

less good option
set a rule that you will pay him once a week and he has to make that money last.

Yes he's saying I Need to pay it everyday till the 2nd aug

You need to get him to send you a screenshot of this part.

(From the 10th) your "money out" and his "money in" don't match.

Ask him to click on more and then show me?

He is using a Monzo account? If so he needs to go to the section where it says monthly resets (shown in the screenshot below) and re-set it to the 5th)
I also wouldn't trust what his screenshot says because you can 'exclude' items within the Monzo app so they aren't showing in the overall statement.
I would want to be sat next to him and looking myself for absolute proof.
You can tell him that you are about to raise a dispute with your bank as it seems money is going missing.

If he's going to be sneaky...

I would ask that he confirms that he has recieved each payment every day - so you only send the payment if he's sat with you and you have his phone, and you see it arrive on his phone screen.

Suggest that and if he backtracks and finds reasons he can't do that, you know he's been relying on confusing you!

If he kicks off... tell him he can find someone else to be his money minder, and I'd probably remind him exactly what that money is for - buying things he needs as a result of his disability, which may include things he currently expects you to pay for!

You have already said you sent him £38 for a takeaway so his account will show you have sent him much more than his PIP amount since the 5th of July. He is trying to con you.

You need to contact your bank and have payments set up to automatically be made and stop making manual payments to him.

Why would a standing order not work for your son. The money leaves your account and goes in his. Why would your son be the only person that this wouldn't work for?

Standing orders don’t work for people whose disability means they struggle to budget/spend their money as soon as they have it and have uneven spending day to day. For example, a standing order of £10 per day wouldn’t work if someone needs £10 on day 1, nothing on day 2 and £20 on day 3 but would be unable to save the £10 on day 2 for day 3.

Standing order every week then rather than manually transferring the money because neither mum or son can cope with this situation.

That wouldn’t work for some people whose disability means they struggle to budget/spend their money as soon as they have it for the same reason I explained in my previous post. For example, some people who are paid £100 on day 1 would not have anything left by day 2 yet still need money for day 2 onwards.

Giving over £100 in one go wouldn’t work for some vulnerable people either.

What other suggestions are there then. Standing order daily?

As my first reply to you said, a daily standing order wouldn’t work for some.

There are other options, e.g. someone else being appointee. And if there isn’t anyone else who could do that, speaking to the social worker about a corporate appointee.

Someone else does need to take over a lot of things in this whole situation.

I’m surprised if OP can make any sense at all from all the advice here … there’s so many differing calculations from posters, so many differing dates and ideas being thrown in, I bet her head is hurting more than before she started!

For those saying her ds is playing/scamming her etc … maybe he is struggling just as much as the OP with all his figures. If he can’t manage money and that’s why OP is having to give him it daily, then it stands to reason that he is genuinely confused too - yet lots here are making him out to be the bad guy.

Going forward OP, if he needs his money transferred daily, then send him £14.47 every day, if he can budget weekly then send him £101.35 on the same day every week (the same day as you receive his pip).

Very well said. People seem to be forgetting g that not only does she have learning difficulties her son must not have enough capacity to manage his own finances or she wouldn't be in this situation.

The whole situation turned out to be much more complicated. In the end. I had to contact ds social worker as I'm concerned about him.

I hope you manage to get help for your son and also for you. Dont be afraid to tell the social worker that you are finding managing his finances difficult. They will be able to help.

I have spoken to her today

I hope you’re okay OP! X

If there isn’t anyone else who could be appointee and the social worker hasn’t mentioned a corporate appointee, it is worth asking her about that.

About the finances?

About lots of things

Sorry I haven't RTFT but to help going forwards if numbers are a struggle would it be worth you setting up a separate bank account just for his PIP

You can still transfer money to him daily but if the only thing going on is PIP you will know whatever the balance left of correct

Rather than the money getting mixed in with you own funds

Someone may have already suggested it but just in idea to hopefully simplify it for you