Can I get help this not sure if ds is taking advantage money wise I have included pics/run down

[Helpplease46]

I'm a bit worried ds it taking advantage of me. But I could be wrong.

Ds gets 405.40 a month due to pip. He sent me a screen shot saying I have only paid him 206.60 . He said I need to give him 22.60 daily until he gets pip again on the 2nd Aug. But his screen shot he sent me says money in from the 10th when I started giving him money from the 5th .

Can someone help me work it out. I have hand written the amounts from. The 5th . And also included ds screen shot.

I have learning difficulties so I find this stuff hard and ds is just over talking me and getting very stroppy and boarding on aggressive. So then I can't sort anything out .

He's also getting 58.00 a week of his social worker . Its his money regardless but I don't want to be giving him more money than he should be getting.

Even if DS says you £150 on the 5th, £10 on the 8th and £12.50 on the 9th the figures still wouldn’t match. Because DS’s screenshot shows payments from the 10th doesn’t match up with what you say you paid DS from the 10th. That is why people are comparing the payments you say left your account on since the 10th and the amount that has been paid into DS’s account since the 10th.

He send the screen shot to me on Wed.

Hi OP, I suggest you ask your son to show you his account from the 5th to today, then you can compare your payments to his receipts. Tell him you won't be transferring him any more money until he does this. You will then be able to look at every payment you have made and where it appears on his account.

You need two lists and a 3rd person.

Together, all three of you need to sit down with both banking apps open and make two lists.

Both lists should run 5th July - 26th July.

One list shows all the sent money from your account to your son's and the dates it was sent

The 2nd list shows all the money received by your son's account from yours and the dates

They should completely match.

If they do, you don't owe him anymore money until 5th August.

I strongly think you are correct and you have sent him enough money.

I think he knows this and is presenting rubbish to confuse you because he doesn't want to have no money for a week.

The person is to protect you from him trying to confuse you and present you with more rubbish.

OP do you have a computer? Most banking apps will export the numbers out for you to excel if you have it then it can add it all up for you and you don’t have to think about it. If you have someone that can show you how to do this, I think it will really help you make sense of all the numbers going forward.

You're going to be in exactly the same situation next week and the week after that, then.

You're confused, he's angry - if you won't take advice from people who can work out not just their own finances, but decipher what you can't manage, you'll just keep repeating this time and time again. Personally, I'd rather avoid deliberately pissing off an adult child with his own disabilities (hence the benefit he's entitled to) who feels that you're scamming him if I could - and setting up a separate account so his money doesn't get mixed up with yours and you can see at a glance if he's had all his benefit for that week or not would do that.

You need him to change the date on his app to 5th and send you screenshots of all of the transactions from then to now. You can then compare each transaction with what your bank says you have sent to make sure he’s received that from you. That’s the first step.

Then you can add up the transactions to see how much has been received overall.

No-one is in a position to advise you because at the moment the numbers don’t match, that’s all you need to know. Once you have done the above, come back and people can help you with the numbers.

Okay, and are you the only person who sends him money OP? Does he get his £58 direct to his account or any other money direct to his account? X

You would really need him to show you his statement. If he won’t then give him a list of the payments and tell him to mark which he thinks are incorrect when he views them against his bank statement. I have added an attachment (hopefully) with your figures and the totals for the time periods which may be useful. The information he is showing you is no use as the date range is incorrect.

His £58 is on a pre payment card apparently. However, that doesn’t mean that nobody else pays anything into the account. The DS could be withdrawing money and paying it back in in cash or from another account. Or he could have been due a refund from something. Or he might have earned cash selling something on eBay or online gambling. The OP needs to see an itemised breakdown of everything that has come in to date.

Hmmm, ok.

If I sent you £1000 from my bank on the 5th, and £100 on the 10th, then I have sent you £1100 in total. Yes?

However, if you only print a bank statement from the 10th and it shows £90, there are two issues.

1. It is missing the £1000 (money paid before the 10th.

And

1. Why is there a tenners difference, because if I sent you £100 after the 10th, why does your bank say £90.

So when everyone is talking about after the 10th, it's not because they don't get that you've been paying from the 5th. It's because before we even get to the all the payments starting on the 5th, let's work out why your ones from the 10th don't match his from the 10th.

Basically, to compare to my example why do your notes say you've paid £100 when his bank says he's received £90.

His 58.00 I'd on a pre payment card . I have absolutely nothing to do with that . I probably should not have mentioned it. I only did because I felt a bit angry because he's getting quite a bit of money. And if he is purposely confusing me. It feel that much worse because he gets quite a bit as it is.

Moving forward, could you open a separate account solely for his PIP to be paid into? That way, you can give him money as requested, but when the account goes to zero then you know he's had it all for that four week period and he'll have to wait until the next payment.

I’m not sure if he is purposefully confusing you but the numbers don’t add up. You need to look through his bank app OP and check all of the payments you think you have made have actually been received x

Thank you . Yes this is what I have paid to his account... I know its all gone though because he qhats apps me saying put my money in. If it's not in within 10 mins he's on to me.

Also, this might just be a case that he's got in a muddle too.

He does realise his screenshot doesn't include all the payments from 5th to the 10th right? Because if he hasn't noticed that, and thinks that's all he's had for the whole of July, then yes he would think he's owed more.

Tell him to do the same screenshot from the 5th.

Going forward OP - PIP is paid every 4 weeks, so 28 days. Divide his. £405.40 by 28 days = £14.47 per day. So transfer him £14.47 every day. Thats his full PIP paid to him.

Looking through your screenshots, I think you've sent enough.

Tell him if he wants to challenge this - you are following the process outlined above.

Until he does that, no more money until the 2nd August. No more discussion.

Why else would he show me from the 10th though. And not the 5th he's done simlar before messing with days and stuff. His mate grassed him up and ds told him to shut up .

I think its to much faffing about with how it's being paid. I think I should do it weekly

He may have done it on purpose or maybe his app is set that way, my Monzo app shows my month from 7th-7th, I didn’t set it that way and no idea how to change it.

It’s definitely too much hassle and too difficult to track doing it this way, if I was you starting next month divide it and pay weekly x

Contact your bank. Ask them to set it up that he gets a payment either weekly or every Monday and Thursday for the correct amount.

They will make sure that no more than the total amount of his PIP is transferred from your account to his within the 4 weeks.

Every bank has provision for people who require additional assistance and they will help sort it out for you.

It will make it so much easier for you and he can't keep pestering you or confusing you.

Going forward, someone else being appointee would be a good idea. If there isn’t anyone else, the social worker can help with a corporate appointee.

I think you should, too.

405.40 divided by 4 is £101.35 each week. (In case that helps).

Fewer transactions of all the same amount would be easier for you to track.

Always pay it the same day, too, so say every Tuesday.

Thank you 😊

If DS is under 16 and you are his appointee with DWP for child DLA, then it’s you who decides how the money is spent. If you are incurring costs related to his disability then you need the payments to cover them. DLA is not paid to be dished out as pocket money, it’s for the extra cost of disability. If he’s over 16 he’s claiming PIP in his own right, so why are you still involved ?