Can I get help this not sure if ds is taking advantage money wise I have included pics/run down

[Helpplease46]

I'm a bit worried ds it taking advantage of me. But I could be wrong.

Ds gets 405.40 a month due to pip. He sent me a screen shot saying I have only paid him 206.60 . He said I need to give him 22.60 daily until he gets pip again on the 2nd Aug. But his screen shot he sent me says money in from the 10th when I started giving him money from the 5th .

Can someone help me work it out. I have hand written the amounts from. The 5th . And also included ds screen shot.

I have learning difficulties so I find this stuff hard and ds is just over talking me and getting very stroppy and boarding on aggressive. So then I can't sort anything out .

He's also getting 58.00 a week of his social worker . Its his money regardless but I don't want to be giving him more money than he should be getting.

Hi OP. Accountant here.

I haven't looked at all the figures in detail as yet, but there are two things wrong. Both to do with the dates.

The first (which I think you understand) is that he's looking at transactions from July 10th onwards. And you are looking from July 5th. You both need to be comparing the same time period. The 5th July to the 2nd Aug (which hasn't happened yet, so you're actually comparing 5th July to today, the 26th July).

The second is that what you've written down on your paper as the money you've paid him from the tenth, does not match what's gone into his bank from the tenth. What you say you've paid, isn't what you can see appear in his bank.

So the first thing to do is double check what you've written down from your bank (from the tenth), because you should be able to match that directly to his payments received in his (from the tenth.)

I paid him from the 5th not the 10th

I wrote it from the 5th not the 10th

The OP specifies in one of her later post that it is in fact every 4 weeks.

Honestly op, I don’t know if this situation is viable going forward.

I understand you have difficulties, I think you should communicate to his social worker that it’s not working for you to manage his finances.

All the transactions from your screenshots match all the amounts you have written down. But £22.50 of the £235.20 was paid before the 10th, so that's something. But the discrepency is £29 so I can't work that out.

That’s since 10th July. Not for the whole of July.

He’s trying to swindle additional funds from OP by not doing the data search for the whole, which would show additional payments from 5th July.

Her banking screen shows the payments. She is right to recognise that he is trying it on.

While the total of all amounts on OP’s sheet of paper equal £412.70, which is more than the 4 weekly PIP payment of £405.40, something has gone wrong somewhere.

The total of all the amounts on the sheet of paper since the 10th (ignoring the amounts on the 5th, 8th and 9th) and in OP’s screenshots (minus the £38 OP said to ignore) equal £235.20. DS’s screenshot states £206.20 has gone his account since the 10th. So something has gone wrong because not all the money that has left OP’s account has made it to DS’s.

People know you paid from the 5th, but the amounts from the 10th (so ignoring the amounts on the 5th, 8th and 9th) don’t match.

I understand it’s from the 10th.

And I do understand that the son is trying to get more money than he’s entitled to.

I also understand that neither the op or the son understand what the correct figures are/should be.

Im querying why from the 10th his bank account shows he’s received £206.20, but his mother has transferred £235.20. I’ve suggested it could be that the picture isn’t taken with the most recent payments showing, although none of the payments would equal a £29 discrepancy.

Im not sure if the son and the mother struggle with finances and figures, if this arrangement is the most suitable for either of them.

Ok this is why people are suggesting a standard system of transfers and recording of transfers.

Because your son is not arguing in good faith. You can “prove” to him that you don’t owe him money but he doesn’t care. He will brow beat you and confuse you in order to take advantage of you and get more money than the PIP he is entitled to.

After you solve this months problem I would suggest you ask a disinterested third party to help you set up a better system of transfers. You aren’t a chartered accountant and this kind of back and forth is no fun for you.

Why are we ignoring what I have paid from the 5th

No-one is completely ignoring the payments made on the 5th, 8th and 9th.

I have said the total of all amounts on your sheet of paper equals £412.70. Which is more than the 4 weekly PIP payment.

What people are saying is what you have said you have paid since the 10th doesn’t match what DS’s account says has been paid in since the 10th.

You say you have paid in £235.20 since the 10th. DS’s account says £206.20 has been paid in since the 10th.

Could he have meant “ you owe me 22.60 today” not each day, even though that’s a miscalculation on his part ?

Honestly I feel like I want to cry . I know that sounds perfetic. But lots of people are saying ignoring the 5th etc why we ignoring the 5th i have paid him from the 5th until until today . I can't just ignore what I paid from the 5th .

I give up

To try to get the numbers on your sheet of paper to match what your son's bank account says he's received.

Imagine (or do it in real life if that's easier) the numbers from before the 10th July on your piece of paper are crossed out. When you add all the remaining numbers up the total should match what your son's bank account says. They don't.

What you're list says you've paid him from the 10th-now (remember, cross out the numbers from before then because he's not shown you these dates in his screenshot), is more than his bank is showing. Where has that money gone?

Because they aren’t what the picture of his bank account are showing.

The picture of his bank account is showing from the 10th until ???

people want to help you op. You’ve stated your son is sneaky and possibly taking advantage of your learning disabilities. There’s no shame in putting your hands up and speaking with the professionals involved to say you don’t understand how to manage another persons financial affairs.

I think the fact you are very cagey about his age and anything of the circumstances reinforces my idea that you may be being exploited by him.

No every day fir past few days he's nervous saying put my 22.60 in

Is there somebody in real life that you can ask to help you to work this out?

I think the fact that there are lots of different people on here replying is confusing you.

can you call his social worker and ask them to sit down with you in person and work it all out?

No-one has said to ignore the payments on the 5th, 8th and 9th completely.

The payments of the 5th, 8th and 9th do need to be ignored when comparing what has been paid from the 10th. So you can see the discrepancy between what you say has left your account from the 10th-26th and what DS’s screenshot shows has been paid into his account from the 10th.

Deep breaths @Helpplease46 . Have you given him the £22.60 each day when he has asked for it?

I already said I think he trying to take the piss. But I wasn't sure and I did not want to accuse him .

Yes ( his) says the 10th . Because it looks like he set it up that way. But mine is from the 5th which is the right day. In a nut shell I really only need to know what I transfered to his account ie the total so far.

That's right, you did, but that's only one of two issues.

Take your piece of paper and cover up all the payments you've written down as being paid to him, before the tenth. Now you have got a piece of paper showing all the payments you made from the tenth.

Those payments from the tenth should match the bank information from him. Because he's only included from the tenth in his screenshot.

But they don't. So you need to work out why his bank shows £206 being received from the tenth, but your written notes don't add up to that.

OP you shouldn’t have to do this and put up with this. Something needs to be put in place to make it easier for you. It’s not working. I know you don’t want to hear it but you need to tell the social worker that you can no longer manage your sons money due to your learning difficulty and that another system will need to be put in place.
I don’t think we can assist you much further because if the amounts don’t match the sons account and we don’t know on what date his screenshot was taken then it’s impossible to work out for us (and obviously for you).
Tell the SW you can’t receive the money anymore.

Yes I have