Can I get help this not sure if ds is taking advantage money wise I have included pics/run down

[Helpplease46]

I'm a bit worried ds it taking advantage of me. But I could be wrong.

Ds gets 405.40 a month due to pip. He sent me a screen shot saying I have only paid him 206.60 . He said I need to give him 22.60 daily until he gets pip again on the 2nd Aug. But his screen shot he sent me says money in from the 10th when I started giving him money from the 5th .

Can someone help me work it out. I have hand written the amounts from. The 5th . And also included ds screen shot.

I have learning difficulties so I find this stuff hard and ds is just over talking me and getting very stroppy and boarding on aggressive. So then I can't sort anything out .

He's also getting 58.00 a week of his social worker . Its his money regardless but I don't want to be giving him more money than he should be getting.

PIP is paid 4 weekly, not monthly, so there are 13 payments a year.

No pip is paid every 4 weeks

It would be better if someone helped the OP to set up a spreadsheet like the one Dora 33 made. That way the OP and her son could see the payments as they are paid out every month and added to the spread sheet , and more importantly , see how much is left of the payment every month.

I have managed to try what I have paid him from my account . Ignore the 38.00 on the 8th though.

I think he's confused you. You're absolutely fine. You can see you've paid him £412.70 and as others have said, it's no more until the next £405.40 pip comes in and then his budget for the next 4 week cycle, from you, will be £398.10. (pip less the £7.30 he owes you).

Over 28 days that's £14.20 a day for 27 days and £14.70 on the last day. Nice and easy. Him showing you his banking apps and balances is a red herring. It makes no difference to you if you are absolutely sure on what you are paying to him.

If you struggle with maths (I do too) then why are you doing this?

You have made an assumption. I only wrote it on paper to show on mn because I was not able to screen shot my bank account as it does not let me.

It seems very simple to get up a daily standing order . Under a normal situation that would work really well. But in my sons case it does not .

I’d have it changed so it’s paid directly to him, this situation isn’t working out. You’re finding it difficult to manage money and keep track, he’s finding it difficult to keep track of where his finances are.

If having this money in your main account is confusing the issue, could you get it paid into another account, or send the whole amount into a separate account and pay him from there? Then there is a block of money that's his, that's not used for anything else, that you just send to him as he asks for it so there's less scope for confusion or arguments?

If you don't currently have a spare account you can open one easily with Kroo, Chase, Starling or Monzo, which are all app based banks.

I'd get someone to help you set up an account like Monzo etc, that lets you access a set amount per day or per bill.

So he could then be given access to that and he'd only be able to access a set amount each day.

Oh okay. Is that because he sometimes needs larger sums? Maybe a spreadsheet then like a pp suggested. There must be a way of doing it that doesn’t cause this level of stress for you both. Or maybe there is some app you could use to simplify things so that he can see exactly what he’s had and exactly what is left. At the moment it doesn’t seem to be working well. Hopefully the SW can help.

@TigerRag You are absolutely right - just checked my DDs letter and missed the last sentence about it being paid four weekly in arrears. 🤦🏽‍♀️ DD only been getting it for 4 weeks…

So, OP, this means your DS gets £101.35 a week - I’d speak to SW and ascertain whether
a) you can simply set up a Standing Order for this; or
b) whether he should be getting it all if you are keeping him at home? Is he paying rent or anything towards living expenses?

Oh yeah that sounds really good. I was trying to think of suitable apps and that one sounds ideal.

I hope I don't sound round. But in my op . I did say I have learning difficulties. Alot of people are putting to much information. And I can't take it in. I just wanted the math question answered. I have now managed to show pics of my bank account that shows what I have paid ds . So ut may be more clear to people now.

I'm not going to engage with the questions/suggestions about how i should do things a certain way or why I do it etc etc . Because it's totally throwing me off I can look into that later for now i just need to know what I owe him or him me. (After) I'm clear with that I can look at how I can make it easier ( but not now)

Not all of those payments have been paid into DS’s account even if they have left your account. So, you need to look into that.

Going forward, it is worth speaking to the social worker about a corporate appointee if there is no-one else who could become appointee.

Yes they have it gos up to the 26th . Today is the 26th

Sorry if we’ve made things harder.

Basically, since 5th July you have transferred 412.70.
He owes you £7.30.
He cannot have anymore money until you receive the next payment on the 2nd August.

Yeah just went through that and you have paid him £412.70.

Thank you 😊

No, they haven’t.

The total of all the amounts on the sheet of paper since the 10th (ignoring the amounts on the 5th, 8th and 9th) and in your screenshots (minus the £38 you said to ignore) equal £235.20. DS’s screenshot states £206.20 has gone his account since the 10th. So the amount you say you have given him since the 10th is more than the amount that has entered his account since the 10th.

I don't understand at all.

Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you by my suggestion. Your system works for you, and it is your son who needs to sort out his accounting!

I hope your son now understands that you haven’t underpaid him.

Your paper notes and the photographs of your account show £235.20 has left your account since the 10th to go to DS’s account.

But DS’s screenshot shows the total money into DS’s account since the 10th is £206.20.

So there is a discrepancy between what has left your account (£235.20) and what has been paid into DS’s (£206.20).

You should look into what has happened to the money that has left your account but not made it into DS’s account.

Can you see in this image from your son’s bank account where it says ‘money in’ -£206.20 ?

that’s what his bank account is showing as being paid into his account from the 10th, which is what we are querying. I’m now thinking perhaps that picture was taken a couple of days ago, and you have made additional payments since then? Do you know if the picture of his bank account was taken today?

My son can be very sneaky he knows that I have learning difficulties. He just starts shouting numbers at me . And i can't take it in. I need it in front of me and I need to be left alone to make sense of it. I then have to go to someone and check what my thoughts /working out is. If I go directly to him . He will undo what I'm saying and confuse me over again . I also think he made the date say from the 10th on purpose.