Can I get help this not sure if ds is taking advantage money wise I have included pics/run down

[Helpplease46]

I'm a bit worried ds it taking advantage of me. But I could be wrong.

Ds gets 405.40 a month due to pip. He sent me a screen shot saying I have only paid him 206.60 . He said I need to give him 22.60 daily until he gets pip again on the 2nd Aug. But his screen shot he sent me says money in from the 10th when I started giving him money from the 5th .

Can someone help me work it out. I have hand written the amounts from. The 5th . And also included ds screen shot.

I have learning difficulties so I find this stuff hard and ds is just over talking me and getting very stroppy and boarding on aggressive. So then I can't sort anything out .

He's also getting 58.00 a week of his social worker . Its his money regardless but I don't want to be giving him more money than he should be getting.

I understand this. And I hope that when you have sorted this months confusion out you do think about having a system , maybe a spreadsheet for each month, which allows you, and him, to see clearly what money has been paid out, and how much is left.

I'm going to step away for a bit . People are loading me with to much . And I can't manage it . I will pop back in a bit.

I suspect that maybe one thing that is confusing it is that he also gets additional income from the social worker. Which is apparently 58 per week. So god knows when that screenshot was taken and what has come in from where. But OP needs to distance herself from this. She has paid 412.70 and if the payments are definitely to the son (a regular payee on her banking), he will have received them.
sounds awful.

Right okay.

You have given him the whole of his PIP money now until the 2nd of August. You’ve actually given him more than he was owed by £7.30.

He is not owed any more money until the 2nd of August. Whatever he says, it is not PIP money that he is asking for, but money directly from you if you choose to give it to him.

All he and you need to know is he gets £405.40 to last 4 weeks. It works out to £14 something a day. If you give him £20 one day, the next day would be £8. I would advise against giving lots of random amount, but I don’t know the nature of his needs.

To simplify it OP (I also hate maths), look just at 10th July to now.

His bank: £206 between 10th July to now.

Your notes say you have sent him nearly £260 between 10th July and now.

So your notes are incorrect because according to them he has received less money than you say you have sent between 10th July and today. X

Hi OP, hope you’re feeling ok.
I’ve read through all the replies here and can see why you’re overwhelmed. All I will say is, have you got someone IRL who you can go through the figures with?
I too calculate that your DS has received all his PIP this month. From now on, there needs to be a system that’s acceptable to both you and your DS which ensures the PIP is transferred appropriately. I suggest speaking to his SW about that.

Or the son took the screenshot a few days ago and it does not show the 2 x £22 further payments OP has made!

OP do you have someone you trust to take a look at this for you? what is your relationship like with his social worker?

It's difficult to work out at the moment because you don't have enough information from his bank account, and because you don't need the information from his bank account for YOU to work out how much you have already sent to him.

1. The only information you need is from your banking app. You should be able to see the transactions you have made between the 5th and the 26th of July (today).

2. Add up all of the amounts that you have sent to him. This is all you really need.

3. If he still says he hasn't received that much, he will need to show you a print out or screenshot of all of the transactions in his bank account from the 5th to the 26th. The amounts and dates that he received payments from you should match what your account says you sent to him.

4. If they don't, you can both ask his social worker for help to work out why not.

Let me know if you'd like me to break this up into smaller posts. I'm happy to PM with you if you'd prefer. xxx

No, even if the screenshot was taken 2 days ago the amounts do not match OP’s notes, add them up yourself and check. As his is a screenshot from a banking app direct his IS correct from 10th July up to whatever date it was taken. The amount’s OP says she has paid do not add up to that amount between 10th and now, no matter which day you argue the screenshot was taken there is no cut off date that would equal the amount in his banking screenshot.

So either OP’s amounts are wrong or OP has accidentally sent a payment to the wrong account/given some in cash rather than transfer.

The problem is it’s not as simple as just adding up what OP has paid him because you can cross check just from the info in this post to see that OP has gone wrong somewhere.

The amount he has received to his bank between 10th July to now does not match the amount OP’s note have her having paid between 10th July and now, so unless some was given in cash rather than bank transfer OP’s figures are not accurate/confused somewhere.

I have a learning difficulty with numbers too @Helpplease46 .

I just wanted to say I understand what you meant and that I know how you feel, it’s not your fault and I hope you feel a bit better after a break❤️

Why do you leep saying the 10th . I have even sent my bank screen shots . From the 5th his first patient was 155.00.

Why is everyone ignore the 5th I don't care what his says . (My account ) saying I paid him. From the 5th I know I did. It says in my account quite clearly my account Is proof of my payment surely ? Regardless of what he's showing me. And even more so since he's only showed from the 10th . When his first payment from me was the 5th

What's wrong with counting fro the 5th (when I paid him)

Well or he is also getting money from elsewhere (the £58 per week the OP mentioned) and he has taken this screenshot quite a while ago. The sons screenshot doesn’t help unless it shows when it was taken and also the different amounts going in. If all the debits from the OP’s account are to her DS (which I assume they are save for the £38) then he will have got them. Banking isn’t that unreliable.
Worrying that a woman with learning difficulty is having to deal with this and with an aggressive man who doesn’t hesitate to try to pull the wool over her eyes.

It’s fine OP. As long as every payment out is definitely to your DS (apart from the £38) then you have paid £412.70. It’s not so important what your DS’s screenshot says because we don’t know when it was taken or whether it also includes the money from the social worker (or anyone else).

Because you can see just by comparing the same time period’s that what you say you have paid between 10th July and now does not match what he has received from 10th July to now.

Yes you paid him on the 5th, but the amounts that your notes say you have paid JUST between 10th July and today are more than what he has received to his bank between 10th July and now. So there is a mistake somewhere on your side, his banking app can’t lie about what he has received 10th July to today.

I give up

Sorry I saw that money from SW is on a pre paid card. Anyway, it’s still the case that other money could have been paid in by someone or your DS could even have withdrawn his own money and paid it back in. So just focus on what you paid out which is 412.70.

Well apart from we don’t know at all what date he took that screenshot. It doesn’t say 10 July until today, it says from 10 July. He could have taken it on the 20 July.

If his screenshot was inclusive of that £58 then OP’s numbers would be even further wrong, assuming it was taken today.

You would need to see line by line transactions but if you count it up the amounts OP says she has transferred to his account never add up to the amount his bank shows him having received, even if it was taken days ago her transactions never add to that exact amount. Of course his £58 could be in amongst that but if it is then OP’s are even further wrong because he should still then have received more than the £206 he has.

Totally agree it sounds like this is very overwhelming and difficult to deal with though.

Not at all. Numbers aren't easy.

Let's take numbers out of it.

On July 5th, I give you an apple and you put it in your bag. On July 10th I give you two apples and you put those in your bag. If you look in your bag on the 5th, you have 1 apple. If you look on your bag on the 26th (today) you have 3.

If I ask how many apples you got between the 10th and today, the answer is 2. So overall you have 3 apples, but only 2 were given after the 10th.

We know overall we are looking at 3 apples. But we've broken it down into what was received before the 10th and what was received after because it's easier to count if we split into these two sections of time.

Now I know I've given you 2 apples after the 10th. But suddenly you say that after the 10th you only got received 1. So, my problem, is how come I gave you 2 after the 10th, but you are only claiming you've got 1.

That's the first issue on these banks. Your written notes show you've sent £235 to him after July 10th. But his bank only shows £206 going in. You've sent 2 apples, but according to his account he's only had 1.

Re-write/double check the amounts you think you've paid him since the 10th. Because they should equal exactly, to the penny, what his bank shows after the tenth.

Then once we've worked this step out, can we then go back and work out what's happened for the first part of the month, from the 5th to the 10th. We haven't forgotten that's when you started paying from. We're just doing a 2 step process to work the whole thing out.

Add the figures up. There is no date he could have taken it, based on OP’s notes, where the amount would have been the £206. (Assuming she is the only person who transfers to his bank)

Please don’t give up OP it is confusing! You really need to sit together with his banking app and see what he has actually received, and then double check what you have actually sent. That’s the easiest way to get clarity on this because assuming his screenshot was taken today, your figures are wrong as they show you having paid more than he has received to his bank, so you would owe him more than what your notes suggest. Is there someone who can look at this with you in person?

I know you meant well abd have taken time to try abd explain in a different way . My learning difficulties are not just with numbers. Therd is to much information there for me it's just going over my head

Yes, and that is the assumption that we can’t really make without seeing his statements. He could be transferring his own money back in. Or he could have received a refund from something he bought previously that’s affected it. I’m guessing that on the OP’s statements it says “Larry Smith” or whatever the DS is called and I am sure the OP has checked that all the debits are to that account.