New low for me , ghosted by my therapist

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Ive had a short course of therapy (12 sessions) 2nd time ive seen this particular therapist.

On our last session he said he didn't have any more room to see me and was fully booked untill next year. Offered links to other local therapists.

I have emailed twice 2 Weeks ago, 4 weeks ago) asking if he would reserve space for next year. No response.

I emailed from another account and got a response within 12,hours . Offering a trail session etc etc

I was going to therapy due to low self esteem and my "voice not being heard". ,seems even my therapist can ignore my voice 😔

Why ghost me , that just seems really unprofessional.

FFS I'm going to need therapy for my therapy !!

He didn’t ghost you - he told you he didn’t have availability

you then Pestered him by email and then went as far as emailing him from a fake account

this is not healthy

i understand you are dissapointed that he is not available but you need to find another therapist

you are needy and that’s ok but a therapist can sense where an unhealthy attachment is forming

it makes no sense if you are in need of therapy to wait literally months just to see him. This is a dependency.

If had replied to the first email and told you the same thing that he didn’t have availability, would
you Have accepted it then?

He sounds really unprofessional. If he didn’t think he could help you then he should have explained that rather than making excuses. Try not to take it personally OP and look for another therapist who can help you.

He did explain - he said he was booked up and didn’t have availability

He didn't say he couldn't / didn't want to see me again , he said he didn't have availability untill next year .

Thanks for the "needy"comment , kick someone when they are down 🙄

But he shouldn’t have seen her for two sessions and suddenly discovered that he didn’t have availability.

If "I don't have availability untill next year " is code for "I don't want to be your therapist"t then that's pretty childish in my opinion

It was two sets of 12 sessions, a year appart

He obviously does have availability though if he offered the fake email a trial session.

He should have been honest if he felt like it wasn't a good match, finding a decent therapist works both ways and it's unlikely to be anything personal. I can see why you're hurt but if he doesn't have the integrity to be honest then find a better therapist.

You have not understood what he was telling you

he is not going to tell someone with low
self esteem in therapy “I don’t want to see you again” he understands that you will be sensitive to rejection

perhaps he felt you weren’t making progress,
perhaps he wanted to only work with new clients, perhaps he knew you would ask why but why why don’t you want to see me

he is not obliged to work with you and I understand you felt hurt and confused - but even more reason to continue your therapy with a new therapist.

She did a full course of 12 sessions.

I expected the 12th session to be the last but hoped to book again when hasd more space

Next year is a minimum of five months away. Why would you wait that long if you could possibly see another (recommended) therapist earlier?

I suspect your therapist realised they couldn't help you with your needs but realised how vulnerable you were so tried to be kind by saying he had no availability. Then you stalked him...

Sorry OP, this therapist is not for you. Have you contacted any of his recommendations?

You have not understood what he was telling you

he is not going to tell someone with low
self esteem in therapy “I don’t want to see you again” he understands that you will be sensitive to rejection

And lying is better ??

I really hope it turns out that he’s not ghosting you, but if he is I agree that he’s being incredibly unprofessional. It wouldn’t take much for him to say that he doesn’t take bookings that far in advance or even if he thinks there’s an unhealthy attachment forming (which you haven’t indicated there is from what you’ve said) he should be tactful enough to say so. I mean bloody hell he’s an actual therapist, surely he encourages people to tactfully express what they really mean.
Anyway, therapists are just people I suppose and if he’s a ghosting one he’s a bit crap at his job.

I checked that his lack of response was a choice eh that he wasn't unavailable etc

I think he was unprofessional. He should have told you that he was unable to help you further, that he was not the right therapist for you etc.

My understanding is that she had completed a course of 12 sessions of therapy having also seen the same therapist for a previous course of therapy. Apologies if I have misunderstood OP.

If this is the case it sounds as though a break in therapy is needed to try to reflect on and consolidate those sessions before immediately booking more. Also if more prolonged therapy than the 12 sessions is needed then maybe he’s not the right therapist or a different type of therapy may be more suitable

I did not have any sort of attachment to him , tbh my inability trusting / making myself vulnerable to people is one of the reasons I started therapy.

You don't know why he's decided he doesn't want to see you. It could be for any reason from the rationale to ridiculous. You need to accept that he doesn't want to see you and that's his choice.

Contact one of the therapists he suggested. Why are you so hung up on this therapist?

You are being far too sensitive to this situation

if you just want people to validate your feelings then yes he was a shit bag, he ghosted you, he lied, what an unprofessional therapist, what -
dissapointment, he should have told you why he didn’t want to see you, like all the other men in your life he has rejected you, failed you, left you alone and unwanted

I think I would prefer the the interpretation that he just didn’t have availability for me and that’s ok

If he's unable ,for whatever reason, not willing to offer additional sessions then , of all people a therapist, he should have actually explained that.

Or, as he actually told you - he does not have availability for you

Finding the right therapist is really, really tricky. Not every therapist is right for you and I guess it does work the other way around sometimes too.
You don't know the reason. Perhaps one of your issues is triggering for him, as even though he's a therapist he still has his own story. You just don't know why so don't automatically jump to a conclusion that it's something negative to do with you. There could be loads of reason and ultimately it doesn't even matter. Perhaps it just didn't sit quite right. Hope you have a better experience next time.

I’m surprised others aren’t getting why he can’t be available to see you?

You’ve completed your 12 session course and he’s recommended alternative therapists. You’ve then told him you only want to see him (sounds like you’re attached) so he says he can’t until next year.

You don’t believe him so make a fake account to email (that’s extreme) to catch him out.

He was trying not to hurt you and you’ve now proved to him why he definitely shouldn’t be your therapist.

And lying is better ??

Depends on the circumstances. Perhaps he realised you were too vulnerable to be told no so he tried to be kind. He probably didn't realise you would be obsessed/intense (?) about trying to see him again despite the long wait and being given links to other therapists.

You definitely need to explore why you didn't just accept him saying no. You need to explore why you felt the need to make a fake email to "catch" him out. None of that is normal behavior and maybe he picked up on that and thought hell no.