New low for me , ghosted by my therapist

[HowMuchShouldBePaid]

Ive had a short course of therapy (12 sessions) 2nd time ive seen this particular therapist.

On our last session he said he didn't have any more room to see me and was fully booked untill next year. Offered links to other local therapists.

I have emailed twice 2 Weeks ago, 4 weeks ago) asking if he would reserve space for next year. No response.

I emailed from another account and got a response within 12,hours . Offering a trail session etc etc

I was going to therapy due to low self esteem and my "voice not being heard". ,seems even my therapist can ignore my voice 😔

Why ghost me , that just seems really unprofessional.

FFS I'm going to need therapy for my therapy !!

No, people think shes mad because she made a fake account to see if her therapist was lying. What sane person does that to their therapist who says they dont have anymore availability 😳

Hes not her boyfriend or husband, I could understand a fake account to see if he was cheating ect. But this with a therapist? Its just weird

@HowMuchShouldBePaid did your therapist bring up the practice of self-compassion?

My therapist who was very good, recommended a good work book. The mindful book of self compassion by kirsten neff phd and chris germer phd. I took it slowly, one chapter each week. I wanted to do it slowly. It really helped.

This thread is not about diagnosing my mental health

The therapist obviously didn't make it clear enough so that you truly understood what he meant and that's a definite failing on his part. He should probably have replied in writing to your first couple of emails, reiterating what he told you while you were there in front of him.

No, no, no. He LIED to her, and that was completely unnecessary.

No, no, no. He LIED to her, and that was completely unnecessary.

Thanks you , this is what bothers me

And many therapists have therapists because they've let their patients take too much. In an ideal world they fill their own cups before pouring but it's a hard job and sometimes they have to step back from people who they recognise are taking more than they can provide at that time.

Erm, he may be away, taking a sabbatical, dealing with cancer/major illness/family crisis… ie he may genuinely not have availability even next year. He’s a human being with a life of his own and he, not his clients, dictate his work life. His contractual obligations ended with his last session with you - he is not obliged to reply to further emails.

You need to find a new therapist.

And many therapists have therapists because they've let their patients take too much. In an ideal world they fill their own cups before pouring but it's a hard job and sometimes they have to step back from people who they recognise are taking more than they can provide at that time.

I took the advice of the therapist and in some ways I really wish I hadn't, he asked "do you blame me" , I said I didn't but maybe that meant that he felt no more than he was able to offer me going forward.

Erm, he may be away, taking a sabbatical, dealing with cancer/major illness/family crisis… ie he may genuinely not have availability even next year. He’s a human being with a life of his own and he, not his clients, dictate his work life. His contractual obligations ended with his last session with you - he is not obliged to reply to further emails.

Not a problem , not at all l, even not wanting to take in a client who can only afford short courses, etc. But not having space for me but for others , but not being honest , that's what I find difficult.

You've been badly let down @HowMuchShouldBePaid
Exactly what are his qualifications?

It's a bit dodgy him giving you advice too.

If it's "read this book" or "have you thought about what they said from another perspective" that's fine. But therapists should be a relatively neutral space to help you explore your own choices, not tell you what to do.

PGDip,UKCP,BACP,BPC

Process that?

You sound way too attached to him. This is very OTT. What do you have to 'process?'

He "encouraged" me to say something , have my voice "heard" and tbh it just opened up a whole other set of issues , but then I also need to learn to deal with unexpected consequences more

There's 3 versions of the truth 1)your version 2) their version 3) what really happened.
Only the OP is saying he lied, only the OP and the therapist know what has been said/not said.
There's a possibility the therapist didn't lie. He still knows better than anybody else on this forum (excluding OP) what he said and why.
At the end of the day OP would be better to seek another therapist no matter which version is the truth

OP you need to let this go. He works with people all day, every day and likely recognised an unhealthy obsession from you. He let you go and told you to see others and he is RIGHT. Move on

You sound way too attached to him. This is very OTT. What do you have to 'process?'

Process that my therapist lied to me.

I'm fine to find another therapist, I've had to do it before when my previous therapist retired , and a new perspective from a new therapist is also good

I don't think you understand therapy. It is completely normal and healthy to be attached to a therapist. Good therapy is based on a trusting and honest relationship.

Only the OP is saying he lied, only the OP and the therapist know what has been said/not said

He told me he had no space to see me but does have space , no confusion or he said / she said.

Op people lie all the time.
The world is full of disingenuous people. If you have to 'process' something every win someone doesn't tell the truth, you're going to to be stuck in this rut forever.

You're now had 2 therapists who have terminated working with you, if I've read that properly.
You need to really see if therapy is right for you, there are other types of counselling and therapy available. It sounds like it's not working for you.

Op people lie all the time.
The world is full of disingenuous people. If you have to 'process' something every win someone doesn't tell the truth, you're going to to be stuck in this rut forever.

People yes , therapists no

I don’t read into this that OP is overly attached, rather that she was hurt by being ghosted, and then the double whammy of discovering she was being lied to. The processing is to deal with a supposed professional acting like that. It’s a breach of trust.

I think OP has handled some of these posters really well, to be fair. Yes even the piss off comment, which was well-deserved given the amount of goady posts she received from that person, with the finale being armchair diagnosed with a personality disorder 🙄

He told me he had no space to see me but does have space , no confusion or he said / she said

I think the emphasis may have been on to see me but I agree he should have made that much clearer.

You're now had 2 therapists who have terminated working with you, if I've read that properly.

One retired ,