New low for me , ghosted by my therapist

[HowMuchShouldBePaid]

Ive had a short course of therapy (12 sessions) 2nd time ive seen this particular therapist.

On our last session he said he didn't have any more room to see me and was fully booked untill next year. Offered links to other local therapists.

I have emailed twice 2 Weeks ago, 4 weeks ago) asking if he would reserve space for next year. No response.

I emailed from another account and got a response within 12,hours . Offering a trail session etc etc

I was going to therapy due to low self esteem and my "voice not being heard". ,seems even my therapist can ignore my voice 😔

Why ghost me , that just seems really unprofessional.

FFS I'm going to need therapy for my therapy !!

You are coming across as quite mean and spiteful though.

Actually you have told OP what they would have interpreted into something if this or that had happened or not happened to suit their own narrative. I guess you don't see how patronising this is.

I have had therapy and I completely understand why this is very damaging. My need for therapy also stemmed from not being heard or seen by my parents. I tried to communicate something important to them and was completely invalidated.

I’m really sorry op. Ignore everyone on here, it takes a lot to open up to a therapist and he has behaved appallingly. You’re a client not looking for a second date… but honestly, if he is immature/dumb enough to just ghost you rather than explaining why then he obviously isn’t as a good a therapist as you’d hoped.

This
It's harsh but maybe that's what it needs to be
Your therapist knows you better than anyone else on this forum and made a decision that lying to you was a better option than telling you the truth.
Find a new therapist

24 sessions!

Fucking hell he must have had the patience of a Saint.

Some issues are complex , I'm sure if the NHS had limitless resources many therapists would see clients for years .

Two sets of 12 sessions a year appart is chicken feed

I can see why you are hurt.

but you didn’t listen when he told you no availability, and found a way to prove he had wronged you - time to find another therapist and work through how you reacted to these circumstances, and see if he/she can guide you.

have had therapy and I completely understand why this is very damaging. My need for therapy also stemmed from not being heard or seen by my parents. I tried to communicate something important to them and was completely invalidated.

I'm sorry this happened to you

Wtf is wrong with you?

I'm sorry you're feeling so rejected OP.

Do you have BPD/EUPD? It might explain the way that you've dealt with things. EUPD can mean very it's very tough to deal with what seems like rejection.

I hope you find a therapist that you gel with and things get better for you.

you have BPD/EUPD? It might explain the way that you've dealt with things. EUPD can mean very it's very tough to deal with what seems like rejection

Sorry I don't know what these mean?

And yes , party of the therapy was how much rejection affects me

I get why you're upset but try to focus on your needs. He did not meet your needs. Therefore he was not a great fit. You were paying him. He was providing a service.

I know we sometimes end up having the same relationship with our therapist as we have with our parents especially if they are not a good therapist.

I felt that I was boring my therapist, and I felt that my issues weren't as serious as some she might be hearing. And she pointed out to me that that's how my parents made me feel. That if I came to them asking to be heard, I was boring them with issues that weren't serious to them (But serious for me).

So we talked about that. And I got it, that it's a thing that happens.

Don’t be so bloody spiteful

Yes but 24 sessions of 'my parents were mean so I have low self esteem' over and over...I mean, he's well within his rights to go 'you know what, I can't fix this, so I'm out'. Before he needed bloody therapy too.

Wow , just wow ,

I'm truly sorry for you

It's harsh but maybe that's what it needs to be . Your therapist knows you better than anyone else on this forum and made a decision that lying to you was a better option than telling you the truth.

Wrong. A therapist should never lie to a client.

The poster who answered you is doing you a favour, actually helping you.

You should listen.

If you need help for low self esteme why are you waiting a year?

Theraphy has to be a good fit between therapist and client. You got a decent one who, for whatever reason, thinks you would be better with a different therapist.

Listen. Implement. Watch that self esteem rise.

It's harsh but fair.

He clearly decided he couldn't help her anymore.
That doesn't mean another therapist couldn't. But he has every right to say no to more treatment.

@Abitboring hmm I tagged you by accident and can't delete the tag! Going to post this just to get past the glitch.

you need help for low self esteme why are you waiting a year?

Because I can't afford it

There are lots and therapies which are done on a more long term basis. The NHS might want you to believe that 6 sessions of CBT is a magic cure and if it doesn't work then you didn't try hard enough but this isn't true. It's just cheaper.

Of course you'd expect to be working towards goals in therapy and the therapist has an ethical responsibility not to continue if they feel they can't facilitate that but I think this post is an overreaction to 24 sessions with a year break in between.

@Pinkbonbon that's a bit inaccurate. Therapists regular hear the same pain week after week after week. And they are used to that. They expect it. They are trained to guide patients to be able to view the experience in a way that causes them a little bit less pain as time goes by. I actually discussed this with my therapist because of my fear of boring her.

I genuinely don't mean this in a snarky way OP but do you struggle in general with communication and understanding? Because this isn't the first thread where you've had issues with misunderstanding or misinterpreting what has been said or communicated to you.

The therapist obviously didn't make it clear enough so that you truly understood what he meant and that's a definite failing on his part. He should probably have replied in writing to your first couple of emails, reiterating what he told you while you were there in front of him.

“Many people with BPD seem to be stuck with a very rigid "black-white" view of relationships. Either a relationship is perfect and that person is wonderful, or the relationship is doomed and that person is terrible. People with BPD seem unable or unwilling to accept any sort of "grey area" in their personal life and relationships.”

might be an interesting avenue to explore with your next therapist… might help you make better sense of the world