New low for me , ghosted by my therapist

[HowMuchShouldBePaid]

Ive had a short course of therapy (12 sessions) 2nd time ive seen this particular therapist.

On our last session he said he didn't have any more room to see me and was fully booked untill next year. Offered links to other local therapists.

I have emailed twice 2 Weeks ago, 4 weeks ago) asking if he would reserve space for next year. No response.

I emailed from another account and got a response within 12,hours . Offering a trail session etc etc

I was going to therapy due to low self esteem and my "voice not being heard". ,seems even my therapist can ignore my voice 😔

Why ghost me , that just seems really unprofessional.

FFS I'm going to need therapy for my therapy !!

All of this. ALL of it.

He sounds so unprofessional. He should have handled this better. I think it’s a bit extreme for people to say you stalked him. You just wanted confirmation that he was ignoring your email.

"Or, as he actually told you - he does not have availability for you

But he didn't tell me that , and Im not good at "reading between the lines" , I'm very black and white , which , as my therapist , he knew

He doesn't need to explain himself to his clients. As long as he is polite, does it matter?

What if he is a serial killer who murders his clients, but you're not his usual type? Would you want to know then?!

What if he is a serial killer who murders his clients, but you're not his usual type? Would you want to know then?!

Wtf !!!

Emailing from a fake account means the relationship isn't therapeutic. I'd definitely not see a client again if they did this.

I think the OP is actually trying to seek out rejection. It's unhealthy. Sometimes people lie to save our feelings. It;s perfectly normal and boring human behaviour. Which the vast majority of people recognise and do.

I didn't stalk him , I wanted to verify that my emails were actually being ignored he might have been unable to answer emails. I just confirmed that I was being ignored and I'll have to process that .

I’m sorry - there’s really not much confusion when someone says I don’t have availability.

you just don’t want to accept it, you want to know why because you cannot believe the simple
answer that he’s giving you. This behaviour is not helpful for you and it’s probabLy not the first time you’ve experienced it

sounds like a new therapist and a fresh start will do you good. Good luck with it

I'm sorry OP. He sounds a shit therapist. If he didn't feel equipped to help you he should address that with you openly and honestly, and explore how you could find the right help.

I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but I think you've dodged a bullet. If he's unable to professionally handle situations like this, then he's likely a poor therapist in other ways too, and you'll be better off elsewhere.

But if all the people in the world who should be honest with you surely it's your therapist ?!

Otherwise how can you trust them ?

I expected the 12th session to be the last but hoped to book again when hasd more space

If you’ve had two lots of 12 sessions it may be that he can’t see you again until a period of time has elapsed. He explained he didn’t have space for you until next year, I’m unclear why you’d make a fake account when he was clear with his boundary. He may well have space for new clients, but can’t do more than 12 in a year under whatever terms he saw you.

Perhaps he didn't have a block of 12 available, but maybe has 2 or 3 and rather than just giving a couple thought it best to say he has none? Either way it's not healthy to do what you done and maybe he has realised there is a bit of an unhealthy situation here? I don't know but either way I hope you get the help that you need.

I’m sorry - there’s really not much confusion when someone says I don’t have availability.

But there is , it's either , "I literally don't have any space" eg a very popular therapist , or "I don't want to see you again but I'm not prepared to actually tell you that so I'll just let you guess"

your entire life view is based on this assumption that he wasn’t honest with you..:because it’s easier to accept than feeling the emotions of being rejected?

people with strong sense of self and esteem in the same situation would either shrug and be like ok or feel those feelings of rejection and disappointment but then move on. Not poke and seek reassurance or concoct a story that well they must be lying

you still have work to do, you can do it

He won't work with you again. He's not your therapist. Your therapeutic relationship is over.

Why did you want to confirm? What is the purpose? Just curious, do you have a PD?

I only emailed to ask if he could save space for me next year +az he ssid he did have space then) and i didn't receive any response , a simple "i don't feel I should continue to be your therapist" would have been more professional than just ignoring me .

He had already told you he had no space for you

I know it's hard but please try not to take this personally. My dh was having therapy and thought the therapist was great at first but gradually went off it a bit (liked her as a person, but didn't feel it was doing him a lot of good). However, he didn't say anything and stuck it out for the full amount of pre booked sessions and at the end of it, he would have booked more sessions with her and given it longer, but she actually told him that she didn't think she, personally, could do anything more to help him and recommended another therapist. He immediately gelled with the new therapist and had a much better experience. He hadn't realised how much it wasn't working with the original therapist but she obviously had, we are glad she was honest and so good at her job that she realised she could not help him further. If I was you I'd just find another therapist.

Just like any other profession, there’s a lot of shit therapists out there. I know, I am one (a therapist, and not a shit one!).

He was unethical and you deserved better.

He had already told you that he didn't have any space till next year that should have been good enough.

I'm not understanding your reasons for wanting a further appointment after you'd done your course of 12. Were you wanting to pay for an extra session, start the next course early or what?

Either way, he didn't actually need to give you an excuse. He could have simply said no. You must admit that would come across as very blunt, and you may well have pressed for a reason.

As things are, he didn't say no. He said next year - which is when you're due for your next course, isn't it?

your entire life view is based on this assumption that he wasn’t honest with you..:because it’s easier to accept than feeling the emotions of being rejected

I don't understand ?

If you are really honest with yourself, would that response have resulted in a <shrug> and move on from you?

It's clear from the OP. First she wanted to book more sessions in the new year, as he'd indicated he might be free then. Then secondly she wanted to understand why she was not receiving a response, which as a reasonable thing to wonder, as it's not professional to ghost a client.

Maybe he knows one of your family members or they are also his client and he realised this and couldn't say